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Number Fifteen: Los Angeles Kings: 1967-1988

The Los Angeles Kings were among the first expansion teams in the NHL, and sort of responsible for the massive influx of teams based in the Southern US in the decades following their debut. Also, for half of their existence, they wore some of the goofiest looking jerseys the league had ever seen. The idea behind the jerseys for the six new expansion teams was to use colours never seen before in the league. So, while the Philadelphia Flyers went with Orange, and the Minnesota North Stars went with Green, the Kings thought, "HAY! LET'S USE PURPLE." I think these jerseys look like pajamas. (While the Jersey design changed slightly in the 1980's, the basic idea was the same, therefore I made no differentiation).

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Number Fourteen: NHL All Star Game: 2000

In recent years, the NHL All-Star game is basically used as a testing ground for all sorts of wacky jersey ideas. In 2000, for whatever reason, the league decided to go for something that looked like a soccer jersey, because they were doing this "North American All-Stars vs. Everyone Else's All-Stars" or something. It looked stupid. Really, really stupid.

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Number Thirteen: Calgary Flames: 1995-2000

HEY YOU! Do you like LINES? Lots and lots of LINES? Horizontal Lines? Vertical Lines? cDIAGONAL LINES? Lines that come out of nowhere in the most awkward, disorienting way possible?! Well, the guy who designed these Jerseys certainly did! Because, nothing says "Late 90's COOL" like rigid linear forms coming at you from every direction!

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Number Twelve: Tampa Bay Lightning Alternate: 1996-1999

Simply put, this thing looks like something a first year graphic arts student at a local community college would submit for a midterm. The late 90's saw a rash of concept "third jerseys" break out, and while this one isn't the worst (at least they stuck with Tampa Bay's basic colour schemec), it still looks goofy. Note the LIGHTNING BOLTS emanating from the cuffs. It gives the appearance that the person wearing the Jersey somehow possesses the power of Force Lightning. I'm pretty sure that's against the rules.

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Number Eleven: NHL All Star Game: 1992

I guess this was supposed to be a throwback to the original All-Star jersey design from the 1940's and 50's. It looks pretty goddamn stupid. For a professional league dominated by Canadians, and whose official colours are NOT red, white and bluec what the hell? A few years later, all convention on All-Star jerseys would be thrown completely out the window, but at the time, this stuck out like a sore thumb.

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Number Ten: Phoenix Coyotes Alternate: 1998-2003

Speaking of graphic arts midterm rejects, here's the Coyotes Alternate! While, by and large, the original Phoenix Coyotes' jerseys looked pretty damn stupid, this one kicks everything up a notch. The top half looks reasonable: a dark green that doesn't burn the eyes. It's that lower half. It looks like a backdrop for a crappy children's Saturday morning cartoon, or the fresco from some shitty, Mexican-themed family restaurant. Not to mention the complete irony of a professional ICE HOCKEY team wearing a DESERT MOSAIC on their jersey.

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Number Nine: Boston Bruins Alternate: 1995-2006

The only Original Six team (the others being the NY Rangers, the Montreal Canadiens, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Detroit Red Wings and the Chicago Black Hawks, for the uninitiated) on this list, and for a very good reason. While the other Original Six teams dared not stray from their original logos and designs too much, the Bruins decided to go right off the deep end with these. If the canary yellow isn't intimidating enough, there's that giant bear head. They could have tried to make the bear look scary, at least. That bear looks like some cuddly-wuddly teddy bear that wanders up and steals your picnic basket, after romping through the Hundred-Acre Wood.

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Number Eight: Nashville Predators: 1998-2007

First things first. Hockey has no reason to be in Nashville, Tennessee, and Nashville has no reason to be involving itself in hockey. Case in point, their original jerseys. Considered one of the biggest eyesores in the "new" NHL, they hold the distinction of being the only jersey to use metallic silver as something more than a subtle accent. There's a reason for that: it looks fucking stupid. This kind of shit might fly with the NFL, or the NBA, but on a hockey jersey, it makes the wearer look like some sort of Spaceman from a future where Nashville has natural ice, or something.

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Number Seven: California Golden Seals: 1974-1976

I got to tell you, NOTHING screams "HOCKEY" like Sea Green. I don't know what it is with California and associating the most-vomit-inducing, blindingly bright colours ever with the sport of Hockey, but the California Seals, in their dying years, are the pinnacle of this trend. Fortunately, these jerseys didn't last too long, as the team died a miserable death and moved to Colorado (I think). And seriously, who calls their hockey team the "Seals" anyway?

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Number Six: Anaheim Mighty Ducks Alternate: 1995-1996

QUACK QUACK QUACK, MR DUCKSWORTH! Here we have one of the most mocked teams in modern sports History, wearing one of the stupidist jersey ideas in the history of thought and ideas. Seriously, their normal jerseys were terrible enough, but I want to know what kind of drugs the (I can only assume, since it's Disney) grossly overpaid team of 50 creative geniuses were taking when they thought it would be a good idea to put a fucking CARTOON CHARACTER on their jersey. Not only a cartoon character (most likely from that crappy Saturday morning cartoon, The Mighty Ducks, who played hockey and moonlighted as universe-saving superheroes), but a cartoon character in an ACTION POSE. WOW THAT IS SO COOL!

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Number Five: Los Angeles Kings Alternate: 1995-1996

How can there possibly be a worse alternate jersey than the CARTOON CHARACTER Mighty Ducks jersey? Well, the Los Angeles Kings managed to do it. With this hideous number. On top of looking like a soccer jersey from some child's after-school bantam junior soccer league, it just looks fucking stupid. So stupid, they only wore the cursed things a few times before abandoning them. In that same year, Wayne Gretzky requested to be traded from the LA Kings to a different team. He claims it's because he wanted to be on a team that could actually win hockey games. I think it's because they forced him to wear that hideous jersey. I'd want to leave, too.

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Number Four: St. Louis Blues Alternate: 1995-1996

From bad, to worse, to just plain unwearable, we have the St. Louis Blues' jersey that never was. As the story goes, the coach of the Blues at the time took one look at these things and flat out refused to let his team go out on the ice with them. Can you blame the guy? Of all the wacky designs that came out in the 1995-1996 season, this one is, by far, the most batshit insane, and possibly drug-fueled. It looks like the kind of shitty t-shirt you buy at a New Orleans tourist trap, and bring home for a family member you don't like very much. I can only hope that coach gathered every single jersey, put them in a box and set fire to them in the arena parking lot after the game. The Earth can only be purified from this kind of atrocity by fire.

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Number Three: Nashville Predators Alternate: 2001-2007

Let it be known that Nashville just doesn't understand hockey. Period. While their original jerseys are pretty bad in their own right, the fine folks in the Nashville Predators marketing department managed to outdo themselves. Marginalizing the whole "Metallic Silver" thing was a step in the right direction, but then the whole thing takes a massive tumble down three flights of stairs by thinking it was a great idea to make the Jersey's main colour "Urine Yellow." I'm not a fan of the colour yellow as the primary colour of Hockey Jerseys myself, but this is just disgusting to look at. I seriously cannot look at the jersey, and NOT think it looks like piss, literally.

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Number Two: New York Islanders: 1995-1996

As mentioned several times, the 1995-1996 season saw its fair share of wacky "concept" alternate jerseys. However, the New York Islanders decided to take things one step further and totally redesign their jerseys AND logo. The results? One of the biggest fiascoes and examples of fan backlash. Taking one of the most simple, yet revered logos in the league (a logo apparently drawn up by the original owner's wife in three days) and replacing it with something that looks like the Captain Highliner guy, and placing it on a jersey that looks like it's in a constant state of melting, and combining it with being the worst team in the league that season and having one of the worst win-loss records of the 90's, it resulted in an absolute fan revolt. The next season saw almost no one buy season tickets, and massive revenue loss. As well, consistent taunting about fishsticks by fans of rival teams. It took two seasons to even begin to fix the damage and revert the jerseys back to their original look. Bored Housewives 1, Overpaid Marketing Guys 0.

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Number One: Vancouver Canucks: 1978-1985

And finallyc the ONLY Canadian team on the list also happens to hold the reputation of once wearing the most hideous, laughable, dumbest-looking jerseys in all of sport. These jerseys are, hands down, the most reviled and despised jerseys ever. EVER. They are unparalleled in their atrociousness, and are actually pretty famous for being BAD. The colour scheme, the design, makes the eyes want to bleed forever. Not to mention, the whole "V" thing makes the wearer look like, much like Owen Hart's "DANGER" singlet from the late 90's, a damn road sign. In a way, these jerseys are real trailblazers. In an era where most teams were fine with the conventional ideas for jerseys, the fine folks from the Canucks franchise stood bold and said "NO! We will NOT be bound by things such as convention and good taste!" And thus, created the granddaddy of all ridiculous looking hockey jerseys. Without them, the majority of this list would not exist. There would be no lightning bolt cuffs, or Tex-Mex frescos, or aggressive-looking cartoon characters, or even piss-yellow as an acceptable colour in hockey without this design. And for that, we salute you, Vancouver!