Nik Nik's Number Fifteen Pick: Kurt Angle Arn: arg. Nothing to say about him except that he's really, really boring to me.

Hooker Hooker's Number Fifteen Pick: Norman Smiley I don't really know what, if anything, I can say objectively for Mr. Anderson since I've only seen him post-Psycho Sid. And, suffice to say, a bunch of monotone promos, dorking around behind Ric Flair, and the odd spinebuster isn't the kind of stuff that gets people to stand up and say "This babbling dork is God's gift to humanity!" I mean, it does in my case, but I like very stupid people so long as they remain confined to my television set where I can change the channel when I'm done. And that's usually how it goes--I stand up and scream something contrary then change the channel when something I'm watching pisses me off. The good news is that Weekly Visitor doesn't, ummm, stress objectivity. Therefore, I'm given free reign to say whatever irresponsible shit I want to. And as such, Arn Anderson is probably the most unimpressive perosn I've ever seen in wrestling. I'm sure there are others that straight up beat him for that title, but I'm far too lazy and tired to bother running down my long term memory to find them. Actually, many of them are probably in the Weekly Visitor Top 15. Anyway, Arn was once called "Tire-Iron Arn" at one point and at that time he carried around a tire iron. That's positive because it's so dumb it comes full circle and is actually wicked awesome. That someone would base their gimmick on "I'm associated with a hunk of metal that can only be used to replace tires," especially when their use is equally as limited, just astounds and entertains me. Of course, he used the tire iron to hit people with while other, able bodied Horsemen were wrestling matches, but I'm pretty sure that's manditory whenever you're carrying an inanimate object in wrestling. Still, they could have called him "Pot of Scalding Water Arn" or something. Norman Smiley is equally useless. I don't know why I picked him. But if I have to say something about him, he tied for 59th place in the Weekly Visitor rankings with Barry Windham and Raven out of the 93 wrestlers on the list. Also, as opposted to Barry and Raven, Norman Smiley was actually voted for by two people, not just myself. I'm pretty sure I know who else voted for him, but I can't remember where. So consider it a surprise.

Waspie Waspie's Number Fifteen Pick: Shane McMahon Merriam-Webster defines "enforcer" as "one that enforces." Having never actually seen an Arn Anderson match, I'm entirely the wrong person to comment on whether or not he lived up to his nickname. I'm also guilty of using the old "citing the dictionary" opening, which makes obvious my standing as a hack writer. Whatever the case, look to EIW E&C for a rundown of Arn's illustrious career. I'm just going to rate Arn Anderson based on his appearance. Head: Arn's head is entirely wrong. He looks like someone who should be talking about God or abstinence, not how much he wants to hit somebody. Bald and beardy can look imposing when done right, but Arn's face is entirely too kind. I'm surprised all his matches didn't turn into big hugs and pony rides. Maybe they did. Arn's my favourite wrestler now. Torso: Arn's one of those awesome wrestlers who has a magnificent torso. If I ever had to survive a night on Hoth I'd be sure to bring Arn with me. I'm sure Arn's more than a head and a torso, but he'll always be tops in my book. Or something.

Jon Hunt Jon Hunt's Number Fifteen Pick: Kojima-san Editor's Note: Due to a calculation error I made that was later corrected, Chris Benoit was our previous number fifteen wrestler. It seems that Jon was not made properly aware of this fact, however. As well, Jon seems to be living in Japan, or something. Hence, he has stuff to say about all the Japanese wrestlers half of Weekly Visitor doesn't care about. Chris Benoit - As anti-smark WV is, Benoit still managed to make our 15 greatest wrestlers. Well, he and a lot of Japanese guys, so I guess we're just all talk. Anyway, I haven't seen Benoit wrestle since he left RAW like a year ago, but everyone is still all over his nuts. I guess that means he's still good. I think he's on my personal list, and if he is, it's mainly cuz he has teeth like a hockey player. Kojima - So, I went to a Zero-One show yesterday, and since they're being invaded by All Japan, I figured Kojima would be there. Nope. Weird. But he did run out at the end and beat down Hashimoto, which was cool. Kojima rules cuz of his smile.

The Next Mideon The Next Mideon's Number Fifteen Pick: La Parka My personal selection for #15 was La Parka. While he dances better than Arn Anderson, the Horseman edges him out in the all-important "debilitating spinal injuries" category. Thus, Onto Double A. Let me drop a little history on yo' azz. Arn first achieved fame by teaming with his brother Ole, the Spanish matador. I think this duo was known as the "Minnesota Wrecking Crew". They just stood in the ring and talked in that horrible MinneSOtan accent until the Rock 'N Roll Express or somebody beat the shit out of them. Eventually saddened by his brother's departure to go be the Black Scorpion, Arn's luck turned around when he met an old young man named Ric Flair. Flair was apparently in need of a bald dude in panties. It was kismet! So Arn became one of the Four Horseman, which meant that he had to wrestle Sting every hour, on the hour. His finishing maneuver was the "gourdbuster", which he ripped off from famous comedian Gallagher. If that didn't work, he'd just hit you with a high-heeled shoe. In the end, Arn Anderson won my approval with what I can only assume was his catchphrase, I heard him say it so many goddamned times. "He caught me with my pants down." The evocation of such a disturbing mental image indubitably cements Mr. Anderson as Weekly Visitor's 15th best wrestler of all time.

ChainClaw ChainClaw's Number Fifteen Pick: Horace Hogan Arn Anderson. In his lifetime he achived many things in the wrestling world. He was one of the few men who could be dubbed a "tag team specialist" and live up to the praise. Not to mention he was just as impressive as a solo competitor in his role as "The Enforcer" for the Four Horsemen. Wether as a tag team partner for Tully Blanchard in the WWF as one half of the Brainbusters, or as possibly the linchpin of the NWA's Four Horsemen, Arn was always one of the best. Even Ric Flair, no matter how fruit loops he went, could rely on Arn when the chips were down. Anderson is truly one of the most respected wrestlers of all time. Then Steve Austin peed on him. Thank You.

EIW EandC EIW EandC's Number Fifteen Pick: HEEL Doink Editor's Note: Apparently EIW went apeshit and decided to write a full blown article for his Arn Anderson spot. It's probably around 300,000 words, give or take 298,000. That's my warning. "Although I don’t mention it much and this may come as a surprise to many of you, I have a certain fondness for Arn Anderson. Having blessed the world with the demotion of Sid Vicious, the existence of Sailor Mercury and that one spot where he tries to give some guy a knucklelock but ends up getting crotched, it’s safe to say we all owe Arn Anderson a lot. If you will indulge me (and even if you won’t,) I would like to present a short biography of Arn Anderson. You can get more (accurate) information from his autobiography, “Arn Anderson 4-Ever,” which is apparently a good read. I don’t know. I don’t trust the skills of a writer who spells “forever” using numbers." To read the rest, visit his column here.

Sofa Sofa's Number Fifteen Pick: El Dandy Arn Anderson. How best to describe such a luminary and legend of the wrestling world? He's bald. He fears safety scissors. He wrestled people named "Bunkhouse Buck" a lot. Arn seems to be one of those people I respect, but I'm not even sure why, as all of my memories of Arn are of him helping Flair beat someone up; and him calling the WCW InVasion angle "the equivalent of man landing on the moon." Also, this write up was a bit late because I didn't know it was due on March 3rd. Right. My fondest memory of Arn wasn't even really of Arn. It was when Ric Flair was sent to the insane asylum, and he befriended one of the local nutcases (while booking matches from a payphone), whom Flair dubbed as "Triple A," as he was either superior or inferior to Arn. Then Scott Hall comandeered the Insane Asylum Charter Bus, and Ric and AAA ran amok for about a whole week. El Dandy. Out of my holy trinity of WCW luchas, he ranked third, which I suppose isn't a very good compliment, but considering I hated Rey Misterio at the time, (and am still not crazy about him), it's the best I can do at this point. El Dandy was fat. Not "Deceptively Stocky" like Silver King, but just kinda chubby. His gimmick was that he had a greasy curly mullet and he could chop hard. That's about all WCW was willing to give him. I honestly don't even remember if he joined the lWo or not, but let's assume he did. He had that going for him, too. I suppose I only liked the guy because not too many other people did, and because he was a fairly good wrestler. He just looked weird as hell. And always, ALWAYS wore these long blue tight pants. I don't think he owned any other wrestling gear. Insert a mexican joke here if you want.

Josh Josh's Number Fifteen Pick: Eddy Guerrero Arn Anderson: I like to call him Arm Anderson. Ho ho ho. Wasn't he a part of that Revolution group with Malenko and Saturn and them? Eddy Guerrero: I think that's how you spell his name. If he weren't Mexican he'd be higher up on my list. I think he had some good matches at some point in his life. I know he was in that 30-man cruiserweight match on some PPV. I remember this because I watched them scrambled back then, and his face was one of the only ones I could make out. Muy calliente!

Shane Spear Shane Spear's Number Fifteen Pick: Sting I was going to write a long retrospective about TEH ENFORCER, but I came across this tidbit instead. For months now, people have wondered what happened to Arn Anderson after he was scared off by the BrockMonster last year. Well, worry no more. Wrestlezone has broken the news that he was, in fact, turned into glue.