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LAST WEEK: was the big Dome Show show. They only showed the main event and that shitty Takayama match. I heard Inoki was supposed to fight Steven Seagal. I hope it happened and they show it this week. I'll probably just get some shitty Saito vs. Giant Singh match instead.

Disclaimer: I can't read Japanese, and I barely understand what the announcer guy says, and I try to not watch so much shitty wrestling, so I dont know the names of a lot of these guys. Live with it.

PRE-Show: some boring anime with girls with big eyes was on Ch. 9. tv sucks. Ch. 10 has people singing karaoke in a cage, but it's not near as interesting as it sounds.

START: Tenzan & Kojima: reunited and it feels so good. Why is Chono blonde? Before they explain, the theme plays. it sucks.

Grando Sponsa wa: I can't read what I wrote.

Commercials: I swear that I eventually rebeak the show. Anyway, I don't think a Mexican has ever set foot in Japan. Some Japanese guy in a sombrero gets sprayed in the face with a hose or something. The Nova Usagi regrows its ears. Hey! This one's in English. It sucks though. Some gaye care.

For some reason my notes say "At least this is about the Dome Show."

08-29-02: Some dude hits a sick suplex to beat Otsuka in a worked shoot. No, wait. That guy lost. Ok. He then lost again at Inoki Bom Ba Ye. I saw that, but do not recognize this man. He is Japanese.

Now:, or Last Week: Some skinny shooter & another, slightly less skinny shooter vs. Nakana & Ichiyoshi. Or Michiyoshi. something

Fuck this. I hate worked shoot fights. Nakana's all beat up and bleedy before the fight even starts. Shitty shooter guy keeps hitting sissy slaps, and Nakana keeps going down right away. Wouldn't a shoot fight end after like 50 knockdowns? This is fucking awful. Please end. Please. Tag to other shitty shooter. More fag tags. Nakana can't fucking stand up. This would be cool if he had actually been hit with anything even remotely impressive. Nakana hits a knee. Then, he falls down again.

*clip*

Shitty shooter hits a crappy suplex. 2 count. There's pins? whatever. I guess if there's a tag shoot fight there can be pins. Failed doubleteaming. Nakana tries for the armbar. Other guy reaches ropes. PLEASE END! (M)ichiyoshi comes in. Shitty doubleteaming stuff. (M)ichiyoshi leaves. Nakana with a decent suplex. decent. 2 count. damn. Please end. Homoerotic rolling around. Wait. It's over. Ok. Somehow Nakana choked the shooter out. I don't care. At least it's over.

Backstage: Nakana speaks Japanese.

Clip of the end of the shitty Takayama match

Clip of the pretty good Nagata/Barnett match.

Takayama & Nagata have a stare down. Haha. They should have a shoot fight.

Tenzan's dressed like a level 10 Warrior.

Commercials: Sweet! I get to use my Bourne Identity joke again. The BORING Identity. hahahahaha.

fuck

UT football eats Cup Noodle. Well, they would if the aliens hadn't eaten it all first.

Tournament Brackets: Who the fuck are these guys?

Oh shit: Saito vs. some other fatty Ham slap fest to start. Saito goes down. Back up. Gravity pulls him back down. Other guy slaps his own chest. Ham Ham. Yeah, I saw the new Hamtaro movie. They say "I ham you" instead of "I love you." They ham everything. Much like these two. Anyways, Saito got up and went back down again. 2 count. Shitty German suplex. 2 count. That's also what the shitty german suplex count is up to tonight. Saito with a fat press. 2 count. Ham Ham to other fatty. FATTY'S DOWN! Kerplunk! Saito goes up top! BEEEEEEEEF! Fattest Splash! That's it.

The other tournament match: some guy who wants to look like the famous Rock vs. some guy who wants to look like Essa Rios

Backdrop on Rock. *unreadable* but the Rock kicks. I wonder what that attempted move was? Spear on the Rock. 2 count. Rock with a headlock. Suplex on Rock. yeah, this match also sucks. I wanna see Kojima. Rock with a flying knee. Pin. Play Limp Bizkit!

Finals: Saito vs. Roku-san

Saito's slapped around by Rock. Elbow on Rock.

*clip*

Was that first part so important? Rock jumps into Saito's warm embrace. Or maybe he just got stuck to him. Ham-Ham slam on the Rock. Shitty DVD. 2 count. Argh! Saito with something unreadable, but it does contain the word "Ham" in it. Fat Splash. 2 Count. Rock with some knees. Jump kick, only not near as cool as it sounds, or as cool as when Ultra7 flies down and jump kicks some stupid looking monster. It took Saito about a minute to fall down. Armbar. That's it. Play some more Limp Bizkit.

Was that Muto? I guess so. They're talking about when Muto and Kojima left. No mention of Ka-Shin leaving with them. ha. Clips of Tenzan and Kojima. They're hugging. Boringness. Shitty Techno.

Commentators talking. I don't think Inoki and Seagal fought. That sucks. Faggy bellhop guy is in the ring.

Chono & ? vs. Kojima & Tenzan.

I just hit some button that made everything go wonky. I hate these keyboards. Chono comes out accompanied by blonde hair and some guy. Is that his partner? It looks like Roku-san. I guess it aint his partner as some other guy is coming out now. Ok, he just beat up Roku-san and threw him out of the ring. Whatever. Kojima comes out. Now comes Tenzan, fresh from fighting off Sauromon. I think they said ?'s name was Tanashi. It soudns japanese enough for me, so I'll use it. It's Tanashi and Kojima to start. A few shoulderblocks, then they trade like 50 chops.

*clip*

It's still Tanashi and Kojima. Kojima is punching him in the corner, then he smiles. Top rope elbow drop. 2 count. Slaps, and Kojima goes down. Bridge suplex thingy, but Tenzan makes the save. Tenzan and Kojima attempt a double clothesline, but Tanashi suplexes them both at the same time. Chono just watched all this. Nice effort, Chono. Now he comes in. Mafia kick for Kojima. I think the other two went outside or went home or something. Top rope shoulder block. I'm glad he sat there for like a minute afterwards as it takes awhile to write "top rope shoulder block." STF on Kojima. He reaches the ropes. Kojima gets a Manhattan drop, or an Atomic Drop. I can't remember which is which. Tenzan comes in. Stuff. This sucks too. Seriously, I've seen Big Show matches that are faster paced than this.

hahaha. Tanashi wound up and PUNCHED TENZAN IN THE KNEE! hahaha.

Finally, Tenzan pins Chono, which is not how I expected that to end at all.

Post Match: Tenzan and Kojima leave. Roku-san comes back in, but Tanashi slams him. He then gets up and the three of them stand around. ok.

Commercials.

Tenzan & Kojima talk to the press.

Commercials

The (shitty) card for some upcoming show. Takayama stuff. Chono stuff. Did I mention that this show sucks?

Final Thoughts: Why are purosmarks paying for this shit?

BUTWAIT! They just showed the Masked Foreign Invaders or whatever coming out. But now it's commercials. Oh well. WOAH! The show coming on might be porn. No, it's just one more shitty drama.

Final Final Thoughts: Instead of "Ham Ham slaps" I should have said "Ham Chops"