Depending on who I can get a hold of on AIM in the next few days, this may be my last Smackbeak, at least for awhile. Not a threat, just a heads up. As much as I love Smackdown, Monday just became a much better night to have a show to rebeak. Also, no one else seems to be doing anything around here for various reasons, and I’m not sure how long I’ll keep doing this if I have no indication of how long my term as solitary caretaker will continue. This won’t be my farewell show regardless, I want to know my last rebeak is my last rebeak when the time to write it comes.
What a cheery note to open with.
I have a test in my management class in a few hours that I really ought to be studying for. So I’ll know how to throw salt in people’s eyes. Luckily it’s not a time management class. I doubt the correct answer to “How should you spend the last hours before an exam?” is “Rebeaking Smackdown.”
DOCTOR DOCTOR, CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BURNING BURNING: So, the very next story I read after writing that happy blurb last week about the relative lack of Second Doctor sexing fanfics was all about Jamie taking it up the ass from Doctor Moe. Zoe walked in on them, apologized, and left them to their buggery. The Doctor even made a joke about giving Jamie “an injection.” Sigh. The reason I was hopped up about that particular trio of Doc Who characters was because I came across “The War Games” pretty cheap on VHS and ordered it. That’s where the Doctor, Jamie, Zoe and Victoria face Ric, Arn, Tully and Ole in a double-cage with a roof. Wait, no. It’s actually a very highly regarded late sixties story that ends the Second Doctor era and writes out Jamie and Zoe (Victoria was already gone by then.) I’ve seen it since last week. Sadly, I think I’d heard too much about how good it was to give it a fair shake, as the final scenes for Jamie and Zoe are remarkably unemotional and unexciting. It’s still a good story though, and manages to maintain a really dark and ominous atmosphere despite a great deal of scenes set on an alien spaceship decorated with a “spiny hypnowheel” motif. The villains are pretty fucking awesome too, as this alien species seems to be populated entirely by guys who grin creepily and wear those round-framed glasses that make you look like a Nazi child-molester. Though I suppose if any children deserve to be molested, it’s probably Nazi children. Overall, I’d recommend The War Games, and give it three and a half Dustys.
FRIDAY NIGHT BLACKDOWN opens with Booker and Sharmell visiting Teddy Long. Sharmell makes Teddy Long look at Booker’s hands, then starts babbling about the hands of royalty being unsullied by commoners and such. Teddy: “I’m down with that, I think every King should have a manicurist, should get his nails done, what’s your point?” Booker waxes philosophical about how cross-dressers are icky. Teddy Long reveals that Vito has already stepped aside to allow another challenger to face King Booker. Sharmell: “Ah! Vito is wise. For my mighty husband would have smoked him.” What a beautiful line. Teddy: “King Booker, tonight, you will face, THE UNDERTAKER!” The commentators aren’t on mic yet, so we get no “OH MY!” Booker takes off his crown and starts flipping out, of course. “IT AIN’T GOIN’ DOWN LIKE THIS, DAWG!”
New intro graphics, same intro music. The new graphics include live actions shots occasionally morphing into cartoons. It looks like that one payperview that looked like…this looks. Rey, Taker, Batista, Booker, Kennedy, Finlay, and Ashley get the Toon Treatment, and most of them are also intercut untooned. Lashley, JBL, the Little Bastard, Kristal, Sharmell, Benoit, Matt Hardy, Chavo, Michelle McCool, the Miz, Tatanka, and Gregory Helms all appear untooned. I can’t tell who Finlay is giving the Finnegans Wake-Up Call, but sadly, it does not appear to be Paul Burchill. The final shot is of King Booker swooshing his cape around, and since he’s wearing a suit he looks like a goddamned vampire and it’s pretty awesome. Count Booker. Let me count how many times I have been WCW champion! 1, ahaha, 2, ahaha…
I WAS HOPING THIS NEW CHANNEL WOULD BE ANIMAL PLANET seems pretty over here in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. In honor of this being the first show on the new network and possibly my last Smackbeak, let’s give nicknames to the announcers: REPORTS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED and REPORTS THAT I COPULATE WITH DOGS ARE RIGHT ON THE MONEY. Rumors were flying recently that JBL had put in his notice and wanted to leave WWE to give all his time to his big money financial/news/real-world dealings. Of course, by the time those rumors reached me the new news that WWE wanted to keep him and was throwing all sorts of incentives at him had also broken. But the fact is one of the names being floated out there as a replacement on commentary was The Miz, so Jesus God thank you for sticking around, JBL. Batista’s partner in our opening tag match is I GUESS I’M TOO REAL A DEAL TO BE MADE INTO A CARTOON. Haha, look at Batista clapping and pointing at Lashley as Bobby poses. Their opponents are GERALD MCBOING BOING and COMMANDER MCBRAGG. I couldn’t think of an Irish cartoon character, so I went with someone whose name included “Mc.” Then the most British cartoon character I could think of was Commander McBragg, so that all went to Hell. You know, Commander McBragg once fought his way out of Hell armed only with a toothpick. Or so says the brag of McBrag. My stone-age cartoon references are GOLD, BABY. The chyron says “Finlay & Sir William Regal,” so I guess Finlay has honored his Hibernian ancestry by declining his knighthood, but respected King Booker by doing it quietly off-screen. Batista thinks he’s starting with Finlay, but Regal Pearl Harbors him. That doesn’t work for very long, of course, and Batista kills him with the normal stuff. Shoulderblocks, back body drop, and there’s a strolling powerslam. If he were Lashley, this would be over. Thumbs up, thumbs down, looking for the Batistabomb, but Finlay breaks it up. Finlay lures Batista into following him so Regal can sneak attack, but Batista has massive brains and spinebusters Regal as he rushes in. Lashley tagged in, hahaha, double-team version of the stalling vertical suplex, complete with double asking the crowd to cheer with the free arm. JBL talks about Demolition. Lashley murders Regal with a shoulderblock. Snap suplex. Cover, and Regal kicks out. JBL says Lashley is almost as strong as Ron Simmons, but faster. So? Tag to Finlay, who runs in and gets killed. He gets him up in a sort of Torture Rack, but then jumps up and drops to his knee, which…hurts, I suppose, but I have no idea what to call that. All moves out of that fireman’s carry position are F-Something, like F-5 or F-U, so maybe that can be the F-ervescence. Heels take over with cheatery and I’m gonna have to dog it a little if I want some time to study before the test. Lashley gets sent to the floor and Regal clotheslines him. Tossed back in to Finlay. European uppercuts. Elbowdrops. Ninja chokeout. Irish ninjas are the strongest ninjas. JBL: “Carrickfergus Ireland, the hometown of Andrew Jackson’s parents. He comes from reality.” Unlike the Little Bastard. Lashley fights out, but Finlay clotheslines him. Cole: “For Finlay and Regal, it’s all about being physical.” Tag to Regal for stuff. Back to Finlay for a shoulderblock to the gut. Cover for 2, and the clever, clever Canadian fans are yelling “2” for every 2 count. Finlay suckers Batista into coming in so the ref has to stop him, and doesn’t really do anything illegal enough to get disqualified for. Tag back to Regal for restholding, but Lashley gets out and…runs into some (part 2 of) kinda suplex for 2. JBL admits that the crowd is pretty hot, despite being French Canadian. Lashley tries to get to the corner to tag in Batista, but Regal slaps his hand away. Finlay comes in, and Regal whips Lashley into a Ho Train Attack by Finlay. Now Finlay has the shillelagh and it’s breakin’ down here on Smackdown. Batista in, tossing Finlay to the floor. They brawl outside, and Batista kicks Finlay over the security railing. I sense this is about to end…yeah, Regal tries to use the shillelagh, Batista grabs it out of his hands, and Regal turns into the swoop sentence terminated. Good triumphs over Europeanness tonight.
Commercials. I told you I’m having to dog it a bit.
We’re back, and A CHAMPIONSHIPS WINNER IS YOU is coming out here. Why couldn’t she be like Daniel Puder and just take her money and then never appear again? Or rather, do one backstage sketch with Hardcore Holly, and then never appear again. JBL feels the need to make “great in the sack” jokes about the Diva Boot Camp like two months late. Diva Search Winner Whoever says nothing (though at least she’s brief) and then dances. But NOT EVEN A LOSER FROM THIS YEAR’S DIVA SEARCH is Crystal, Kristal, whoever. She invades and acts heelish. The most enjoyable part of this segment is a fan sign behind Krystal that says “John Cena: Worst Wrestler Ever.” Krystal slaps Whatshername and they roll around. KILLER DEATHBOOBS is Gillian Hall, who comes out and rips off Krystal’s top, revealing her bra, which shows about .004 sq mm more flesh than her shredded top did, but of course Krystal is humiliated and runs off. I like how every time Cole mentions JBL and Gillian’s history, JBL starts talking about Amy Weber. Now Gillian attacks…what the Hell is the Diva Contest Winner’s name? Anyway, that’s supposed to be shocking. Gillian removes her top, and then she removes her top. I mean, her own top. Gillian’s top. Look, just move along, move along, like you know you do.
Chavo/Rey history package.
Commercials. Crazy John hasn’t been seen in new footage in one of the ads for his tirehouse and rims store for a long time. I’m worried about Crazy John.
I DIDN’T GET TO BE A CARTOON CHARACTER WAAAAAH is Gregory Helms. I guess they were supposed to be comic book characters and not cartoon character, come to think of it. JBL: “It was a twist for the champion, Gregory Helms.” Titty twister. Helms’ opponent is I HAVE SLAMMED MANY TORNADOES WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL NOT SLAM A HURRICANE? JBL: “Part of the game Michael, waah waah waah.” Matt with clotheslines early. Gregory with a knee, but he charges the ropes and gets tossed to the floor. Plancha by Matt. Here’s a replay. Michael Cole talks about some “impromptu reunion of Team Extreeeem” at the last ppv, and I am legitimately surprised when he claims “Lita interrupted” and realize that he thinks of the Hardy Brothers sans Lita as Team Extreeem and assumes they have had no contact since last being an active tag team. There’s kayfabe and there’s retarded, though they are often the same. And are often also gay. Matt charges into some kicks. Helms goes up, comes down, Matt goes up, and eventually Helms super-hot-shots Matt off the top. Neckbreaker. If Helms was as good as The Miz, this would be over. Helms with spastic baby punches. Helms with some goofy hold in the ropes. Helms ties Matt up in the ropes, neckbreaker across the ropes. Helms: “LET’S GO HARDY!” Haha. Armdrag and an elbowdrop. Fancy modified ninja chokeout. JBL starts bitching about how the commentators always talk about Lashley and Batista and Undertaker and ignore guys like Helms. Did he tape this before they talked him into sticking around? Helms with some fancy move whose name I don’t know. More stuff. Eventually he misses with THE STUPID and wanders into the Side-Effect for “2!” Matt wants the bulldog, but Helms shoves off and sends him into the corner. Matt back elbows him and sprints up top to get a moonsault for 2. “I am going to Twist your Fate” Dance, but Helms grabs the top rope. Shinning Wizzard connects! Wow, really? 1, 2, NO! Helms can’t believe it. He goes to remove a turnbuckle cover, but the ref is right there. MATT WITH A LOW-BLOW FROM BEHIND! 1, 2, 3! The ref didn’t see it, and Matt wins with EVIL! Of course, Cole and JBL do a 180 degree flip on their positions on cheating. Though after a few seconds JBL changes his mind and congratulates Matt for growing a set and doing what it takes to win.
GIVING ME A PUSH WAS A MIZ-CALCULATION is backstage. He lists all the reality shows he’s been on in a spastic, douchy manner. He’s going to go 4-0 tonight, hoo-rah.
Last Sunday (read, two Sundays ago) at Unforgiven, Clint Eastwood killed Gene Hackman for killing Morgan Freeman.
Commercials. This wacky McDonalds coffee commercial claims this guy has been married for years and didn’t know it. They don’t appear to have children, otherwise this guy must have thought he just had really vivid wet dreams.
Sorry.
GET ARONG RITTRE DOGGIES is backstage instead of in some magical mystery redneck setting. JWY: “Howdy. Jimmy Wang Yang here again. I bet you’re wonderin’, when I’m gonna make my Smackdown debut? Well I was gonna do it tonight in Montreal…(looks at Canadian flag with distaste)…Canada, but I’m a little uncomfortable, north of the border. All you people talk a little funny, with that French language. Parley-voo-Francis. Let’s be honest, ain’t too many reeeeeeeeeeeeeednecks up here. But there are, some down in the South. So next week, Tulsa Oklahoma, Jimmy Wang Yang’s makin’ his Smackdown debut! So remember, I’m your boy, giddy-up, yeeeeeehaw!” I wonder how I can make hackneyed “rednecks are inbred” jokes if Jimmy Wang Yang is the only Asian redneck? Perhaps he is what you’d get if Sun Ce married Sun Shang Xiang.
GIVING HIM A NICKNAME EARLIER WAS ALSO A MIZ-CALCULATION is out trying to make me come up with a new Miz-something joke. Nothin’ doin’. His opponent is SMACKDOWN’S LEAST WACKY JAP. I hope JWY beats the Hell out of Sho eventually. He almost certainly will. Miz does an armdrag and dances like a douche. Mocking the bow that Funaki doesn’t really do. JBL mocks the Red Rooster some more. Miz blocks a slam by Funaki, slams him back, and starts stomping around screaming “THAT’S RIGHT BABY!” You really have to see Heel Miz to get it. Sho dropkicks him. Miz whipped to the ropes, and Funaki does one of those magical dropkicks that hurt the dropkicker if they don’t connect, so Miz holds the ropes. Miz stomps and chokes and stuff. JBL: “I hate the guy, all right?” Suplex. JBL: “Training my ass!” Miz with the Mizard of Oz. Which is sort of a neckbreaker into an inverted DDT, now that I can see it.
Rey Misterio is backstage, talking intently at a camera. Shut up Rey, your horribleness has ruined Sailor Mars for me. Rey, on you know who: “It was as though they raped my soul!” Later: “Tonight is the first day of the rest of my life.” He’s gone from being one of my favorites to the worst ever.
Commercials. Snapolope Season. These beef jerky beings can’t be that hard to catch. They’ve simply got to be on the verge of a heart attack at all times.
The Marine crap. John Cena is pretending the fight scenes are real. Jesus. T-1000: “He takes a lickin’!”
EWW, CHAVO, DID YOU STEP IN SOMETHING? is here with THE SOMETHING HE STEPPED IN BETTER NOT BE MY DEAD HUSBAND. Smackdown gives me bad storylines, and I insult the dead. Who is truly to blame? Cole, on the Marine: “It is off the hook!” JBL waits for the entire Chavo and Vicki intro to end, then says: “Off the hook? Like you’re now hip or something.” WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN I CRY AT YOU? has the decency not to wear any pink to this big grudge match. Chavo attacks Rey as he comes into the ring. Rey brawls back. Rey ranas Chavo out of the ring after the punch-punch ends. Rey flies over the top to the floor and ranas Chavo and himself over the barricade in a fucking sweet move. They brawl in the crowd, and nWo referee Nick Patrick has lost control. Chavo takes over the fisticuffs and sends Rey back to ringside. Vicki claps. They end up back in the crowd somehow, and Rey takes over with brawling. Chavo sends Rey into the fence between the ringside seats and the first row of bleacher seats, but Rey blocks, hops up on the barricade, and gets a flying crotch attack on Chavo. Oh bullshit, Nick Patrick is throwing out the match as Rey sends Chavo into the barricade. He whips Chavo into some chairs. Rey follows a retreating Chavo away and clubbers on him. They get back to ringside, and…is the match still going or not? Both men are back in, and Vicki slides a chair to Chavo in plain sight of Nick Patrick, who tries to get out of position to see the cheating by going over to yell at Vicki, but he still (part 2 of) kinda sees Rey springboard off the apron to dropkick the chair into Chavo’s head. Vicki comes in and yells at Rey. Going to slap him, Rey blocks. Doing “uh-uh-uh” finger wags, but Chavo attacks Rey. Rey kicks at Chavo, but Chavo clubbers. Rey punches back, and now the Horde O’ Refs ™ invade. It looks to be broken up, but then they fight again. Such passion, I tells ya.
Commercials. No.
GEEZ, THE WORST ONE of the Diva losers, Marie, is here. She was French Canadian and never seemed to have any idea what was happening and may have been the one whose “getting hit with a pie” thing was just standing there staring blankly not knowing she was on and then getting hit by a pie and not even seeming to react to that. She says…stuff backstage.
OUR FAVORITE CARTOON WAS M.A.S.K. are defending their titles against both OUR FAVORITE CARTOON WAS DEPUTY DOG and OUR FAVORITE CARTOON WAS WHATEVER THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS LIKED SO PROBABLY SOME BILLION YEAR OLD HAPPY HARMONIES CRAP because this is such a big event and all. The Pit Bulls toss London before the other challengers invade. Eatonoid ends up brawling with Noble as everyone else hits the…no, it’s one guy on each team legal at a time. So Kendrick comes in and the three men take turns blindsiding each other. Tag to Idol. He and James do some double-team stuff to Kendrick. Noble invades, so he ends up brawling with James. Kendrick wants a tag, so Noble knocks London off the apron, only to turn into attax by James. I mean Stevens, damn. Kendrick ends up brawling with Idol, Idol wins that, but Noble attax. Tag to Kid Kash, who kicks Idol a lot. He covers for 2. Kendrick finally gets up, and Kash chops him to death. Idol rolls Kash up for 2, then tags in James. James tries to do something, but stuff…occurs. I can’t keep up with these matches, and all they’re really doing is lots of clubbering anyway. JBL refers to all these guys as “physical studs.” Idol got tagged in at some point as he neckbreakers Noble (who also got tagged in) but wanders into a fancy kick by someone. Someone back suplexes someone. London is tagged in and he’s a house afire. Dropsault for James. Mushroom Stomp for Idol. Looking for a cover, but the Pit Bulls break it up. Michelle McCool is on the apron distracting the ref, but all that happens is Kid Kash brainbusters Paul London. Kendrick gives Kash the Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot #3, but then Kendrick charges into a big backbreaker by Idol. Noble wants the White Trash Compactor on London, but London counters and…ends up getting rolled up. 1, 2, James rushes out and clotheslines Noble, but it ends up flipping the pile over so London is pinning Noble…1, 2, 3! Really fun match, actually, though like I said I couldn’t actually cover who was doing what to whom without rewinding and rewatching every sequence like ten times.
TEAM TURKEY backstage promo. Basically, Elijah Burke does the same spiel he would normally do in the ring as the camera shows us Turkey. Then Turkey says “I am Sylvester Turkey.” Then they fade to black. BEST SEGMENT EVER FIVE ASTERISKS WOULD DO BUSINESS AGAIN!
Commercials. Whee!
WWE in the Philippines. Some Filipino guy: “Batista being an international superstar, he shows us a side of the Filipino that we can be proud of!” He’s Filipino? Oh. Not that I care, but it would be way better if that guy had no clue what he was saying.
FOYER GARÇON is French for “hometown boy” if this online English-French dictionary is to be believed. So the next time you meet guests in your foyer, make sure it is also your hometown, I guess. As much as I hate Sylvain, watching Le Resistance get a massive face pop on RAW whenever that happened was pretty fun. JBL: “He’s French, he’s Canadian, I double hate this man.” JBL, after the surrender humor: “Concierge is a French term, isn’t it? How bout he brings me a Scotch.” I HATE ALL CHEESE EXCEPT LUMPY CHEESE is a big heel in this town. Cole: “Tatanka’s name means Buffalo.” JBL: “Oh, that’s awesome.” Sylvan backs Tatanka into the corner, then gives him cheapshots galore. Tatanka fights back, and gets booed with every punch. Sylvan whipped into the ropes and back body dropped. Vertical suplex by Tatanka, who keeps looking to the crowd and wanting to cry like they’re littering or something. The crowd is chanting in French. Tatanka with a backbreaker. Oh, it’s “Let’s Go Sylvan.” Ninja chokeout by Tatanka. Lumpy ninjas…not too shabby. Sylvan fights his way back to a ludicrous ovation. Tatanka punches him right on the nose. JBL: “Bingo!” Tatanka hits the ropes, but Sylvan catches him, almost fucks it up, but eventually puts together a sort of suplex. Not a 180 degree one, more like a 125 degree. Tatanka sent to the ropes and dropkicked. Sylvan would be signaling for his finisher if he had one. Spinny, delayed sideslam for 2. Tatanka sent to the floor. Cole: “Strange thinks happen in Montreal.” JBL: “Didn’t something happen here one time that they’re still mad at?” Tatanka on the apron, trying to sunset flip his way in, but Sylvain drops down, grabs the ropes, and wins. It must have been Rob Conway totally playing to the Montreal crowd that made this fun before.
Commercials. “Supernatural” on The CW. Taker isn’t the only zombie on this channel. Hope they shook his hand correctly.
TOO WHITE FOR THE CW NETWORK makes a surprise appearance to visit BORN TO BE THAD(DEUS). Cena thanks Long for giving him that magical “I will go to Smackdown if I lose at Unforgiven” contract that convinced Edge to put up the WWE Title. They look lovingly into each others eyes. Cena said he owes Teddy one, so Teddy asks him to come to Smackdown next week to team with Batista and Lashley in a 6-man against Booker and his Court. Cena agrees, and also offers to purchase Teddy Long some waffles. Seriously. Teddy does an adorably little munchkin dance. Cut back to Cole and JBL, and JBL’s grin suggests he saw the dance.
No Mercy rundown. JBL: “We’re gonna find out if the Animal, is truly an Animal.”
MY FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER IS MAGILLA…MAGILLA honestly never knew Magilla’s real last name was Gorilla. He also really like Grape Grape. Kennedy has new, slowed-down, eviler music. He ain’t the woman to mess with, wheeeeew! Go, go, go! Anyway, he’s just out here to watch Booker/Taker.
Commercials. This narrator talking about how “we took Cherbourg” in this Company of Heroes game reminds me of a documentary on the Battle of the Bulge I saw once where a historian described the German’s unenviable situation of not having enough troops to fight the western allies and the Soviets at the same time by saying “the battle at Cherbourg was sucking off soldiers.”
Long, awkward sentence, but I think the sucking off soldiers punch line was worth it.
WE LIKED THOSE FRACTURED FAIRY TALES WITH ALL THE GOOFY KINGS AND QUEENS AND WHATNOT are here. Didn’t they already have a cheesy no-contest main event match a few weeks ago? I MARKED OUT FOR GRAVEDALE HIGH is out. Kennedy: “This isn’t right! This is unnatural!” What, the smoke? Blue lights? THERE ARE…BLUE LIGHTS! JBL: “You’re not gonna be the same after this. You’ve got those nice bicuspids.” What? Kennedy gives us “scared.” Cole: “One of the biggest main events we’ve had here on Smackdown!” Since the last time you had it. Taker punches while Booker dances around. Booker flees outside the ring, Taker follows, and Booker clubbers him when Taker follows him in. Taker reverses a whip, but Papa Shangos, and gets kicked. He clotheslines Book out anyway. Cole: “The Undertaker is in total control, can he keep it up?” HE’S HIT ONE MOVE!
Commercials. That was a normal-length segment, I just didn’t type my stream of consciousness during Taker’s eight-hour entrance.
We’re back, and Taker IS IN TOTAL CONTROL! Headbutt. Big boot. Cover for 2. Arm-wringing by Taker. SHADES OF TATANKA. Kennedy is showing off his hot new Ken Kennedy hoodie. Taker with that one-armed slam. Kennedy: “AHHHH!” Taker throws Book into the corner. Arm-wringing some more. Just do Old School already. He goes, but Booker punches him. Looking for a superplex, but yeah right, Taker headbutts him off. Lazying up, Booker low-blows Taker as Sharmell distracts the ref, and oh, hey, Booker does get the superplex. My apologies. Booker puts Taker in the ropes and gets on the apron and scissors kicks him. Huh. He covers for 2. Book with punches. JBL yells about Donkey Kong and neck bone. Booker with…my attention wandered. It gets 2. Punches, and Taker falls outside. Book comes off the apron with a punch. Book slams Taker into the steps. Sending him back in. Dropkick. Cover, but Taker takers hold of the bottom rope. Taker punches his way back. He sends Book to the ropes, but Papa Shangos and gets DDTed. Booker is slow to cover, and only gets 2. Taker rises up like he do. Taker punches away. Booker goes to the eyes. He sends Taker to the ropes, but Taker ducks the spin-wheel kick and gets a flying clothesline. Snake-eyes, running big boot. Legdrop. Cover for 2. Goozle, but Booker elbows out of the chokeslam. He ducks a clothesline and gets Taker with a fancykick. Cover for 2. Stalking him for something. Set-up kick, looking for a Tombstone? Taker reverses. Booker slips out of that and low-blows him. DQ. Kennedy: “YEAAAAAH! YEAAAAAH! YEAAAAAAH!” Later: “Still the champion! Still the champion!” Should Kennedy want the guy he has to face at ppv anyway to win the title? Book hits Taker with the belt. Kennedy: “YEAAAAAH! YEAAAAAH!” Book heads up the aisle, celebrating. WOODY WOODPECKER comes up from behind and throws Booker back in. Kennedy: “AHHHH! AHHHHHH!” Taker with a chokeslam. Tombstone. Stick my tongue out cover, but the match is over. Taker looks at Kennedy. Is that gray hair or spittle on Taker’s beard? Oh yuck, a big close-up for Taker sticking his tongue out shows little lines of spit hanging intact between his tongue and the roof of his mouth.
Final Thoughts: All the matches on this big “season premiere” were pretty big on paper, but this was a decidedly normal episode otherwise. Anyway, I’ll be back at least one more week, doing…something
