NEW SCHOOL: I got a low A on my first test in Calculus. I may not make an A on the Marketing exam though, which is fucking sad because it was all multiple choice and it’s a total bobo class. I just tend to do better in classes where there are objective right and wrong answers, and poorly in ones that involve marketing or management specific definitions of vague concepts like “ethics” or “culture.” Ask me to compute continually compounded interest and I’m fine (or at least will feel like I failed if I screw up,) but I can’t bring myself to worry too much over what this specific edition of this specific textbook thinks the term “diversity” means.
Man, first paragraph and I already sound like an egotistical smartass. Don’t expect things to get much better.
I’ve read Rick Scaia semi-regularly for forever, even if I only mention him when he says something stupid. This week, he took a break from telling us he doesn’t watch TNA because it sucks (so how do you know that it…nevermind) to call the sketch with Ron Simmons being conned (memories, like the corners of my mind, misty water-colored memories, of Conway we were…) into purchasing art from Cryme Tyme “inspired.” I suppose he could have meant inspired by Satan.
THE DX X IS A CROSS TILTED OVER comes out. Lillian informs us that he is from Texas. Triple H is out for months, right? Can’t we let DX go, at least until he’s back? JR praises HBK’s rumble performance…shit, he didn’t win did he? I honestly have no idea. HBK: “In the Royal Rumble there were 29 mortal men, and the Undertaker.” Taker is a woman? HBK speculates that perhaps Taker (who actually won the Rumble, great, better than Khali I guess) will challenge Batista (crowd cheers) or Lashley (crowd boos…Boobermonkeys, are you controlling this crowd?) That would leave Cena free (of talent haha POOM.) HBK throws his hat (a saucy beret) into the ring to face Cena. SPEAK OF THE WHITE DEVIL AND HE WILL APPEAR appears, because he was spoken of. He beat Umaga in the Not Texas Not Death Not Match, big shock. Cena gets a pop for his entrance, but they boo him after the initial cheers wear off. He goes to the ring. Before he can really say anything. RATE comes out. Edge. You’ll understand in a moment. Edge starts talking about how, guess what, he wants a title shot. D RKO now invades. Randy and Edge have some pretty gay shirts. Randy complains that Edge has had a billion title shots against Cena. Orton: “Well guess how many times I’ve had one, zero!” Edge: “I think there’s probably a pretty good reason for that Randy.” Haha. Orton: “Hey whaddya mean by, explain your, explain to me what you mean!” He is the top athletic person wrestler man on this show! Cena interrupts by calling them “puss bags.” The fans cheer. I hate John Cena, but not as much as I hate his fans. Is “puss bags” his new catchphrase? Because I will be sick. Edge and Orton start for the ring to do something, but HERE COMES A NEW PANTS-POOPER invades via the Stupidtron. Vince: “I tell the audience what they want, and I tell the audience when they want it!” Man, I thought he said “I tell the audience what they want, and I tell the audience what they want,” which would have been funny. Vince books Cena and HBK vs Team RKO for the tag titles, tonight. No matter what happens, we’ll have wacky mismatched champs who hate each other! Huzzah!
Commercials. Norbit. Because fat Black women played by skinny Black men are the funniest thing in the world, obviously.
YO YO YO LET’S TRY TO SELL “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN OUR FAKE GUERNICA DAT’S WHAT’S UP walk around backstage. And…then instantly have a match. Some fat White kid has a “Cryme Tyme stole my bling” sign. I question whether you actually had bling. THOSE TWO DOCTORS FROM SCRUBS are their opponents. I have to watch Scrubs now because my Dad likes it. There’s a Black guy and a White guy on the show who are BFF. Yeehaw. Hahaha, Charlie’s jacket says “HAASTYLE” on the back, that’s hilariously retarded. Speaking of which, I would probably rate Wrestling Society X as hilariously retarded just for the exploding electrical wires and the clip from a future show of someone “being shoved in with piranhas,” but the editing style and the commentators who end every sentence with “bro” made me want to kill myself. I’d rather listen to Don West call an Iron Man Match than listen to those guys. Come to think of it, Jason actually has listened to Don West calling an Iron Man Match. Wow. Cryme Tyme appear to be laughing at Haas. I guess they read his coat. Whoa, Charlie Haas has cornrows!? When the fuck did that happen? He insists on continuing the “Charlie thinks he’s Black” storyline, even if the writers have obviously forgotten about it. Neither JR nor Lawler seem to notice. Has he had them for awhile and I just blanked on it? Shad shoulderblocks everyone to start. Lawler: “I heard Shad was an honor student. You know, yes your honor, no your honor.” Shelton is in the match, but he isn’t getting that joke? Where’s your sense of tradition? The ref chats with JTG, so Shelton gives Shad a low-angle souparkick to the back of Shad’s knee. Shad yells crazily to sell. Hass works the leg. Tag to Shelton, who stomps the leg. Shad punches back, but Shelton runs around and is not shitty and gets a roll-up into a single leg crab. Shad crawls towards the corner, kicks Shelton off, and tags JTG. That was a pretty short, uneventful heat segment on Shad. JTG does jumpy moves. Back bady drop for Charlie. Shad comes in and tosses Benjamin, but Shelton skins the cat and ranas him out. Now JTG tries to roll Shelton up from behind, but Haas is right there and absolutely murders JTG with a DDT (XYZPDQ) while the ref is checking on Shad. This also serves to sorta reverse the rollup so Shelton is on top, and…TWGTT actually wins? Wow. I wonder if Cryme Tyme just ate their first loss because of something backstage, or if the bookers are just confident they can afford a loss. I don’t care, I just wonder.
Backstage, Vince is telling Melina that she needs to seize opportunity when it comes along. No one gets any nicknames because blah. Melina hugs Vince, who pervs out briefly before Coach enters. Vince says Mister McMahon Fan Appreciation Night is bigger than the Royal Rumble. He will be seen as a humanitarian. “Not just a normal humanitarian, a great humanitarian!” Yeah, fuck them normal humanitarians. And…as always when Coachman talks to Vince backstage, it just sort of trails off.
Commercials. Nashville Star would appeal to me a lot more if Jeff Jarrett was involved.
Our Wrestling History thing is the first Royal Rumble, where hahaha One Man Fucking Gang was getting the monster push. Duggan won though, when by “outsmarting the One Man Gang.” When you get outsmarted by “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, wow.
I WILL SEIZE OPPORTUNITY AS VINCE SEIZES MY BUTTOCKS AND/OR BREASTESES is out, sans M or N. Lawler makes pretty much the exact same “opportunity seizing” joke I made, much to my embarrassment. Melina sighs sexfully into a mic. She declares that this match is now a top-contenders match for the Women’s Championship. Because she can do that. CLEARLY MARIA IS IN LINE FOR A TITLE SHOT is Maria. Who is clearly in line for a title shot. Maria makes “I want da belt” motions. Or perhaps “I have a midriff” motions. Maria does ruthless rollups to start. Then she tries to give Melina a wedgie for some reason. Throwing Maria into the corner and shoulderblocking her. If we’re supposed to be surprised at Maria’s ferociousness, it’s actually paced a little too fast because I can’t tell if all the spazzing she’s doing is meant to hurt Melina. Pretty badly done Bronco Buster on Melina. Still preferable to seeing the now like forty year old 6-Pacc doing it on MTV. Maria gives Melina the Fit Finlay Special, for 1. Melina finally comes back with punching, but Maria fights back, and…everybody pulls some hair. Melina now throws Maria into the corner. She lays her across the middle ropes then punt kicks her in the back. Huh. Furry barbarian boot choking. Maria kicks Melina and tries another ruthless rollup. It gets 2. Melina does some kneelifts, and Maria falls on her ass hilariously. Maria tries a jawbreaker, but then runs into a slapjack. Melina…whoa, she does this sort of Indian Deathlock with bridge into a facelock. Wow. Shades of my old Sailor Venus CAW. Maria taps to the old Sailor Venus move. Not as cool as Mars’ “Mexican Brain Breaker” or Merc’s ludicrously sick DDT. Lawler tells us that move is called “The California Dream,” (Melina’s new finisher, not Amy Anderson’s DDT) before making awful sex puns.
Tonight, Jeff Hardy vs Khali, for the Intercontinental Title. Seriously?
Commercials. Test vs Lashley in a “must see rematch.” I beg to differ, ECW announcer guy.
Rumble highlights. They had the sense to have the last two guys both be guys you could imagine winning for once.
HBK walks about. Todd Grisham want to interview! HBK acts like an angry dick. HBK blames Todd for getting souparkicked last week. HBK: “With all due respect to John Cena, he’s no Triple H.” Well, obviously, just because he’s the WWE Champion doesn’t mean he’s on the level of anyone in DX.
OH THANK GOD FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT I MIGHT HAVE TO DEFEND MY TITLE AGAINST MARIA is backstage with…I guess a wardrobe lady. She wants a skirt that says “Awesome” down this…section of skirt. Pleat? THE ANTONIO BANDERAS OF THE WWE is Super Crazy, who has come to put the moves on Mickie. Super Crazy: “Hi Mickie! Do you remember when everyone says jew are crazy?” Mickie: “Yeah, yeah.” She was dressing like Trish Stratus, calling herself Trish Stratus, and trying to rape Trish Stratus, as I recall. Super Crazy: “I am super!” Pause, which makes it pretty awesome. “I am crazy! I am SUPER CRAZY HAHAHAHAHA!” I AM SUPER, I AM BITCHY, ETC invades and talks some smack. Melina: “The title is mine, and there’s nothing that you, and (looking at Super Crazy) esta cabron, can do about it!” Haha, Super Crazy looks like his cheap, Mexican-made monocle is about to pop out. Now Super Crazy says “you’re welcome.” Melina just looks confused. He’s a saucy Mexican Perry (Sailor) Saturn. Supes grabs Mickie’s hand and makes her smack Melina, haha. A brawl ensues. Hey, Nitro has a cameo helping to separate them.
AS REDNECK HICKS WE LOVE CANADIANS WHO ARE INTO ALTER BRIDGE are Cade and Murdoch, chatting away with Edge “No Nickname” Edge. Edge’s last name is Edge. Unless it’s Cage now. Edge Cage, wow, awful. Anyway, they all diss Orton. Edge mentions Orton losing to Misterio at Mania last year. Cade disses Orton, and now Edge sort of takes offense and says he and Orton are unstoppable when they’re on the same page. Murdoch…looks on uglily. If this was supposed to be Cade and Murdoch sewing dissention to aid their chances of winning the titles down the road, it didn’t work. Though it probably wasn’t meant to be that since no one is seriously thinking through character and motivation for Cade and Murdoch.
Commercials. No matter how funny Psyche may be, it can never be as funny as it seems to think it is.
Our theme song of something is Drone. That’s the national anthem of the Zerg.
HEY MELINA STOLE ONE OF MY SUBMISSION MOVES (w/ARTEMISU) is Val Venis. What a…surprise. Not really pleasant or unpleasant for me, since he’s already in the ring and obviously about to job to someone. MONSTER OF THE DAY (w/ARMANDO ALAJANDRO ESSSSSSZOICITE is out to kill. Armando can really be any evil lieutenant who bosses around a monster of the day and never fights. Umaga is probably what you’d get if you took the star seed or rainbow crystal or whatever away from Samoa Joe. He wouldn’t become more dangerous, just shoutier. Umaga is all bruised around the neck. Umaga does a shoulderblock. Samoan drop. Clubber. Tying Val up in the Tree of Whoa That’s A Big Penis. Stupid running, diving headbutt. Artemis better hurry up and find the other scouts. I’m reasonably sure Ms. Kochan never defeated a monster of the day by herself in the entire anime. Face Full of Poi. Samoan Spike. 1, 2, 3. JR assures us Val isn’t a jobber at all, really. Umaga and Estrada head up the ramp, but uh, why is SOILED TUXEDO MASK’s music playing? Vince indeed appears on the ramp, stares down Umaga and Estrada, and continues on to the ring. Venis is on the Farplane. Hoping that volleyball playing douche from the Doctor Tomo season comes to visit so she can float around and stare at him. Man, the Farplane is a seriously weird concept if you ever get into it past the idea that people just fade away and pop up there. So, yeah, Vince is heading to the ring as we go to break, because Lord knows nobody will tune away from a Vince McMahon segment.
Commercials. Children have special sensory powar and are trying to warn us. To warn us not to see the movie this is advertising.
We’re back. Vince is wearing a cowboy hat, which I may have forgotten to mention. He makes fun of the hat, says anyone who wears one looks stupid, etc. The sound guys decide the crowd really hates that. Cause we’re in Texas. Vince now insults all hats everywhere, then throws down the hat. Vince: “What is that? That looks like a hat!” He stomps it. Vince: “That looks like a hat to me! HAHAHA!” More stomping. Whatever brilliance Vince was showing on ECW, he must have been saving it for ECW when he did this. Vince thanks us for making him a billionaire. He says he’d like to give us all a gift tonight, but he can’t do that so he wants one lucky plant from the audience. It’s some White chick with huge Black chick earrings and daisy dukes. She’s named “Jackie.” OMG MISS TEXAS. I didn’t get around to the Final Destination (or was it Turning Point?) recap until late in the game, so I only recently learned the best wrestler evar is back. Vince gives Jackie a giant framed picture of Vince on the cover of “Muscle and Fitness.” As he’s blathering on, THE DONALD (DUCK’S UNCLE, SCROOGE) appears on the Stupidtron and taunts him. It’s the real Donald Trump this time. In typical Trump fashion, he never pauses between phrases or thoughts or sentences to make any sense or anything. The gist of it is that the fans don’t want pictures of Vince, they want money, and then Trump magically makes money drop from the ceiling. JR: “I GOT SOME! I GOT SOME CASH!” Am I allowed to make Robert Roode jokes? One fan they get on camera appears to have a Ben Franklin, which is impressive, and another has a Jackson, but do we really need to see the guy waving his $5 bill around and screeching like a maniac? Vince yells helpful phrases like “How dare Donald Trump embarrass me?” to get across the plot point here, which is that Donald Trump supposedly embarrassed him somehow. Trump is long gone by now, though of course he was never really there in person and considering how awful his delivery always is, he may have been prerecorded. Vince power-walks x 20 to the back to express just how outraged he is. For some reason.
Commercials. Weeks of buildup, and we get Trump for like two minutes, prerecorded.
Vince tells Coach he has never been embarrassed like this in his life. Uh, Steve Austin made you wet your pants and gave you an implied enema, DX shoved your head up Big Show’s ass, your wife kicked you (woodenly) in the nuts on ppv, you caused the XFL…why must everything that Vince does or says be considered the new peak of…whatever it is no matter how lame it is?
WE ARE SUPER, WE ARE SPITTY, WE ARE SUPER SPITTY is the tag team of Carlito and Super Crazy, of course. Hey, both guys speak Spanish! They already make more sense than Haas and Viscera did. Though to be fair, both of those guys spoke English. Super Spitty are accompanied by Torrie and Chloe, but who the fuck cares? They also got separate entrances, and Super Crazy has the Mexicools music back. Their opponents are a similarly random teaming in the form of I AM KENNY. I TAKE CARE OF THE PLACE WHILE THE MASTER IS AWAY. I hope this match is short, because if the heels get any offense at all this will be brutally boring. Masters backs Supes into the corner and clubbers. Supes does some fancy springboard stuff. Then a dropkick, and a cool corkscrew elbow drop. Masters finally powers him into the evil corner and tags Kenny. “Super Crazy” chant. JR: “20 years old.” Kenny tries some roll-ups, but Super Crazy squeaks out and dropkicks him right in the face. Tag to Carlito, who sends Kenny to the ropes and back body drops him. More stuff happens before everyone ends up in the ring, both face dump both heels, and we get synchronized dives to the outside by the faces though Supes went with a suicide dive and Carlito opted for a plancha. If those terms mean what I think they mean I’m all smart, and if not, it looks like I’m making a joke! I can’t lose. Kenny and Supes are back in the ring, and the evil team takes over when Masters trips Supes up from the floor. Kenny tags to Masters, who stomps. Lawler elects to talk about Torrie and her puppy. Later: (and the match is still going of course,) “I have a wiener dog.” Pause. “Torrie, my wiener does tricks!” Masters punches. I rebeaked everything after this “live” so I really just need this match to end. Kenny is tagged in to do a ninja chokeout. Fan sign: “SIGN HOYT.” I think he mislabeled it, that’s actually a HOYT SIGN you’re holding. Haha. Ha. Kenny checks out Torrie, which allows Supes to fight back for like two seconds before Masters is tagged in. Doubleteam suplex. It gets 2. Supes tries to tag and Masters…stops him. Elbowdrop, and JR talks about his “power.” The power of gravity pulling down on his elbow. JR: “Irish whip by Masters. I doubt if Masters is Irish. Maybe on his mother’s side.” What? JR appears to be as bored as I am. Tag to Kenny, who…does stuff. Kenny does a short clothesline, and then doesn’t release and flips around and does another. It looks stupid. Another ninja chokeout by Kenny. Torrie is trying really hard to make the crowd care. Kenny goes for a back suplex, Supes punches him at the top of the arc, and…the move is completed anyway. Carlito finally gets tagged in, as does Masters. Carlito does a springboard back elbow. Running kneelift. Clothesline. He tries an Asai moonsault, misses, but lands on his feet and dropkicks Masters. Kenny breaks up the fall. Supes comes in and in a really convoluted way takes himself and Kenny out. Masters wants a military press on Carlito, but Carlito goes to the eyes to escape. Arch Deluxe, 1, 2, 3. Torrie celebrates. Lawler: “Jump up and down!”
Todd Grisham tries to interview THE STICKS TO EDGE’S FISH. Todd keeps asking about how Edge and Orton can get along when both want a title shot, and Randy basically sidesteps it. This happens like three times. Then Randy says “I thank you for the interview,” and I think he was meant to sound annoyed at Todd, but he came off just a little lusty.
Commercials. They put out an unrated version of “The Marine” to wash away the stigma of the MPAA’s official “Shitty” rating.
THE GREAT HARDI is out first in this title match because tradition blows. The challenger is I AM KHALI! I AM FROM INDIA! REST IN PEACE! I got stuck at an ODU student lab with like an hour before class and nothing to do, so I read through some old rebeaks of Smackdown (Jason providing the first proper and read-worthy Smackdown recap in forever made me remember having once liked the show.) And while I enjoyed quite a bit of it and found myself wondering when I stopped being funny, the thing that generally really kills me is stuff Tazz, Cole, and JBL said. But the big number one thing that made me almost bust out laughing aloud in front of a bunch of strangers was Khali getting a mic and saying…well, his nickname. I noted at the time that he said “Rest in peace!” in exactly as threatening and menacing a tone as the one in which he said “I am from India!” And there you have it. This is another example of me stalling as I prepare to write-up a match I don’t want to see. Seriously, the IC champ facing Khali…who thinks this is a good idea? Khali takes the belt from the ref before the match starts. Khali shoves Jeff. Jeff runs to the ropes and bounces off and gets tossed. Khali poses. He pulls Jeff across the apron and clubbers. Jeff gets tossed back in. Khali with beatings in the corner. Punches. JR: “Those hands do more damage than the mere mortal man!” Chops. Keep in mind that like two minutes pass between each of these moves I describe. Khali scoops Jeff up, Jeff squeaks out and hits the ropes, but Khali clotheslines him anyway. Jeff comes back with Whyspyr yn thy Wynd, which is semi-sold. Khali ends up straddling the ropes, and gets clubbered some. Jeff eventually gets double-choked, then stuck on the top rope and punched so he falls out of the ring. And…Khali wins by countout. Terrible. JR and Lawler try to sell this beating as having been more brutal than a TLC match. And in a way, they’re right.
Behind the scenes with GoDaddy as Candice…does something.
Commercials. I am from India!
Our Wrestlemania Thingie of the Week is a different Monkey in a different Bank from last week’s. Edge wins.
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY is someone I don’t recognize. He interviews BROTHER LOVE(S DOUBLE DOUBLE E) who says he loves double double e. Does he mean E.E. Cummings?
Last night, things happened.
FLAGS OF OUR WIGGERS (cause he’s a Marine, so, eh) is chatting with FLAGS OF OUR GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHERS for some reason. Cena is all pumped about teaming with Michaels, so Flair reminds him HBK is all about the WWE Title. Flair predicts barbershopesque shenanigans.
Commercials. I think any unnecessary prequel involving Hannibal Lecter killing dudes as a young man should be called “Young Hannibal Plays It Safe.”
Here’s a graphic promoting Vince ruining ECW some more.
WE ARE THE TOP AQUATIC MARINE SWIMMING FISH ON THIS SHOW are out first in this title match because tradition blows. Whoa, the psych dudes appear in an animated graphic. JR and Lawler plug the show. It must be doing really shitty in the ratings. LLLLLLLET’S GET READY TO WORSHIIIIIIP is out first for the challengers. He’s not stupid enough to rush the ring alone, and waits for BAAAAARNEY, MY SPOT AT THE TOP OF THE CARD! That nickname is courtesy of Sofa. And Fred’s two feet. I question the wisdom of giving Cena the last entrance in Texas, as he gets the quietest reaction I can remember him getting since he was riding around in the Undertaker’s sidecar. HBK and Edge start. Edge takes over with punchings, but Angleizes himself on a corner charge. Michaels does an enzoogweeree. An X-zoogweeree. Crotchless crotch-chopping at Orton. Now HBK goes back to chopping Edge. Edge reverses a whip, but Papa Shangos and gets kneelifted. Stomp. Tag to Cena, who…gets a few squeals and a lot of boos. Cena does armdrags and scoop slams. Elbowdrop, for 2. Edge reverses a corner whip, but charges right into a kick. DDT by Cena, for 2. Edge throws Cena into a corner and tags out to Orton. European uppercuts. Randy kicks. There’s a little bit of a “let’s go Cena” chant. Orton punches. Cena reverses a corner whip, kicks, and does his Imperfectplex. He covers for 2. Orton goes to the eye, then clubbers. He sends Cena to the evil corner to get choked by the tag rope. Cena fires back, and knocks Edge off the apron, but turns into attax by Randy. Cena squeaks out of whatever, sends Orton crashing into Edge, and rolls him up for 2. JR: “Cena beating up Orton, literally!” Orton wants a tag, but Edge…claims he got hurt when he got knocked into the security railing. And…Edge is leaving? I guess they’re gonna try Randy as a face again. Well, I suppose that’s for the best, since Edge sucks as a face and rules as a heel and Orton just plain sucks.
Commercials. I hate how that little snotty punk kid comes in and steals the thunder of the throatless cancer cowboy dude at the end of “You Don’t Always Die From Tobacco.”
We’re back. Cena is doing that one move to Edge, who apparently didn’t leave. YCSM, but when he goes to the ropes, Randy gets him. Cena is wearing the DDP Memorial Rib Tape (because DDP is dead. The Jersey Triad live as one, and die as one.) Edge clubbers. They go outside for a bit, then come back in. Tag to Orton. Haha, Edge has Cena down in a drop toe hold and is holding him so Orton can take a free shot, Anderson style, and Orton just stomps. Garvin Stomp. Orton tags Edge back in. Edge punches. Dropkick. HBK jumps around on the apron like a pansy. Edge covers for 2 a few times. Edge with some knees to the kidney. JR: “It’s really been a…bad, a bad bad situation.” Please do let BadBad be defeated. Even if it was actually Golan who we were asked to please to make defeated. Tag to Orton for a horrible, over dramatic rear naked choke. Cena powers out. JR: “Cena’s guttin’ up here!” He rams Orton into the corner to make him break. Orton goes for one of those magical dropkicks that devastates you if you miss, and it misses. Race (Caucasian) for the tag. HBK and Edge both come in, and Michaels is a flaming faggot. Er, a house afire. HBK gets the Macho Elbow after the ring is cleared of everyone but him and Edge. Tuning up the band, but Orton comes in and dropkicks him. Edge tags Orton. Orton stalks him for the RKO, but HBK…sorta, doesn’t go with it. Weird. Randy devastates himself. Tag to Cena, F-U, and…that wins? Where the fuck was Edge? Cena celebrates with the belts. HBK looking to superkick him, but Cena sees it and steps back. Hahaha, Shawn Michaels has this awesome “I’m a baaaaaaad boy” look on his face. Cena looks like he’s going to cry because HBK isn’t really his friend. I’M HERE TO AVENGE THAT TIME YOU RAPPED IN A PENTAGRAM magically appears in smokey, vaguely fiery pyro. He…doesn’t have a mic. They aren’t just going to end with him standing there, are they? They are. JR assures us Taker has made it crystal clear that he’s after Cena (because who cares about Smackdown, right?) I figure he was just taking a leak in Hell and accidentally pulled the “manifest on Earth” chain instead of flushing. They’ve got those old pull-chain toilets in Hell, you know.
Final Thoughts: I really gotta start getting these done earlier so I still have some energy/interest when it’s time to do the final thoughts. I remember having had thoughts about this show and where the product is going. Oh yeah, I was going to brag about how smart I am for not buying Taker as totally booked to face Cena even before he showed up at the end of ECW. Wow, Vince AND Taker on the same episode of ECW. That brand really is an extreme alternative. Wow, sarcastically praising ECW. I really am brilliant and original.
