CYBER FRIDAY: I’m far more excited about Cyber Friday than Cyber Sunday. This Friday’s Doctor Who will be the return to US television of the Cyberman after an absence of about fifteen years. No matter what Sofa tells you, they do not have smiley faces. In other Cyber News, I received the last of the old Doctor Who videos I ordered recently. “Planet of Fire” is the debut story of Peri(…Peri) and features the most evil man in the universe hiding in a small box. “The Invasion” was a disappointment, because I didn’t realize the VHS version has missing episodes that the DVD version (which was announced literally days after I ordered the VHS version) is going to restore. However, it makes up for it a little by having the guy who played Brigadier Alastair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart sitting in this fake Masterpiece Theatre set and holding this thick, leather-bound book that we’re apparently meant to believe is a novelization of this old Doctor Who script. And they play fake Masterpiece Theatre music and he acts completely serious as they imply that a rather bland 60’s Cyberman story is as or more important to our cultural heritage than Shakespeare. This becomes difficult when his summaries of entire episodes tend to consist of three or four sentences, one of which is almost always either “The Doctor and Jamie are captured” or “The Doctor and Jamie manage to escape.” The highlight is a cute little scene where Zoe spontaneously gets into a sort of zany sixties feminism, and going, “James McCrimmon, you don’t think that just because you’re a male you’re superior?” Jamie responds by going, “Now I never said that. *pause* Though it happens to be true.” He’s kidding, though he pays for it later when his foot hurts. For some reason. It’s all a bit confused, really.
SHITTY SATURDAY: So, I read last week’s impact! recap at rocksandbeans.com/blog (for fuck’s sake don’t leave out the blog part I implore you) and it made me want to see impact! for the first time in like a month. Even if you took out Kurt’s crazy headbutt it sounded pretty sweet. I hadn’t made a conscious decision not to watch impact!, I just keep forgetting week after week. So I finally really want to see it, and tune in Saturday at 11, and fucking UFC is still on. So I check in again in an hour, and there’s some special with an hour of Christy Hemme talking to Jeremy Borasch. Somehow, someway, I found something better to do at that point.
I want to step on Papa Roach. Big Papa Roach, is your hook-up, holla “whoooooooooa” if you hear him. Also, slap him, if you hear him.
Here’s a montage of all the exposure K-Fed got by being on RAW last week. Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel mentioned him, that’s HUGE. EXTRA would devote half an hour to Brittany breaking a heel, so that’s not a big deal. Haha, it’s whatever Talk Soup is called now. THIS IS BIGGER THAN THE TIME DR. PHIL MISSPOKE COMICALLY. Wow, this clip isn’t even from a national show, it’s local news somewhere. Actually, although they had no knowledge K-Fed was on RAW and were only discussing him because he’s doing a concert locally, that radio show I listen to did a whole routine where they listened to K-Fed’s music and laughed at him. At first they got all excited about how their friend at the concert venue was going to let “The Virginia Dude Gangsters” (a rap group consisting of two members of the show’s back-up crew) perform as the opener, but then they heard K-Fed’s music and decided it would actually hurt the reputation of their completely unknown group to be associated with K-Fed. One guy: “Kevin Federline is my name, you can call me that cause that’s my name.” They also rapped a lot about green eggs and ham. Bear in mind, one of my biggest problems with the show is that they normally LIKE rap.
Ok, I’ll use those match graphics as an excuse to start a new paragraph, even though this is really only one segment. NOT AS GOOD AS THE VIRGINIA DUDE GANGSTERS is here. Fan sign: “MR. SPEARS SUCKS.” Ohhhh, big burn on Goldberg there. JR talks about some guest spot he did on CSI, and then he discusses when Federline’s album “drops.” Fan sign: “DOWN WITH THE CLOWN.” Ohhhh, big burn on Doink there. Federline: “PAYBACK!” Lucy Liu was really hot in that movie. K-Fed seems to indicate that he is the mastermind behind Cena having to face King Booker and Big Show, even though that has NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM. RING KING FOR YOUR NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM is here. I think that game had a Black guy. I know it had an orange guy. Sharmell is also here, so I guess she can be ATHENA OR PRINCESS TOADSTOOL IN SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 2 OR SOMETHING. Haha, no, she could be Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom. Eh. King Booker calls Federline’s album “a treasure” and considers Federline himself “a gifted and talented arteest.” mgarteest@aol.com. Booker: “You, K-Fed, is a trend-setter.” He eventually gets around to mentioning the Champion of Champions match (which will determine where Champion of Champion resides) which reminds me of the sad fact that Booker has like no chance of winning. BURGER TIME comes out and refuses to call King Booker King Booker. He plugs ECW. JBL likes plugs. Show thinks he will win. Booker: “BALDERDASH!” Big Show with bafflegab. Booker: “Hell no, I’m gonna be victorious!” WRATH OF THE BLACK WHITE MANTA arrives. He says some really, really unfunny stuff. He claims Big Show is a big movie star because he was the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters and Jabba the Hut in Return of the Jedi. Lawler goes “oooh” after that one, not at all sarcastically, and makes me want to punch him. Cena says Show will be starring in “The White Fat Albert,” which isn’t funny until Show explodes in rage and Booker’s mic barely catches him yelling “I’m not even the White Fat Albert!” Then Cena takes away Booker’s Blackness for liking Keven Federline’s music. Gosh, imagine if he liked John Cena’s! He actually says “Congratulations Booker, you have officially lost your status as a Black man” which means Cena thinks being Black is bad and he (Cena) is a RACIST. THE MAN WITH THE POWERFUL RIGHT HANDS is Ron “Faarrrooooqqq” Simmons, and he comes out, takes Cena’s mic, says “Damn,” and leaves. I admit that that was a funny cameo, but I’d take the need for special guest stars to come out and respond to Cena’s punchlines in order to interest the crowd as a strong indication of Cena’s worthlessness. Now Cena makes masturbation jokes. It’s a shame Ron Simmons didn’t stick around for that, as I understand he is a big fan.
Commercials. “Secret Lives of WWE Superstars” includes “Big Show’s Tales of the High Seas.” Definitely not tuna-safe.
TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, TO SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU, AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATION OF THE MEN is still wearing barbarian booties. And posing oddly. She’s taking on RICHMOND BE SCREWIN’ PORN STARS AGAIN. Mickie James poses on the turnbuckles, and hops off right into a clothesline. The ref yells at Melina, so Mickie attacks. Hair-pull biel. Beal. Whatever. Melina fights back with kicks. She’s wearing the barbarian booties again. Suplex for 2. Standing crossfaces. Here’s…some goofy hold that doesn’t look very painful. JR: “Submission-like maneuver!” Melina sort of sets her up for a slop-drop, but maintains the position and pretends it’s a submission move. Mickie kicks her way out and gets a Perfectplex for 2. They punch back and forth a bit. Mickie does clotheslines and stuff. Lawler says something gross about teasing and pleasing. Mickie with a flapjack as JR remembers the ten-year-storyline in which Mickie was obsessed with Trish. Mickie wants the Stratusfaction, but Melina blocks. She does a version of Test’s overdrive, but it isn’t her finisher because it only gets 2. Melina screams. More stuff happens, and Mickie eventually gets a rana and a big DDT for the win. At this point, I think the Women’s Championship is probably beneath Melina. Where I’d like to be SQUEAAAAAAL PUIPPIES I MEAN PUPPIES!
Last week, Triple H beat Randy Orton. Later tonight, they wrestle again. Can I just copy and paste last week’s write-up and just change the sentence at the end sp Orton wins?
Commercials. BORAT GO HOME.
Our Subway Sandwich of the Week is the Jackass Guys Get Killed By Umaga Special with extra JR Doesn’t Know What Eclectic Means.
I MISPLACED MY MAMA and I MISPLACED YOUR MAMMA’S WEIGHT IN MUSCLE MASS are facing I SPIT IN THE FACE OF PEOPLE WHO BOOKED ME TO TEAM WITH JEFF HARDY and I SPIT GLOW-PAINT ALL OVER MYSELF for some reason. At Cyber Sunday, Jeff Hardy will face the fans’ choice of Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin, or Carlito. You can also choose what brand of tissues Masters will use to blow his nose intermittently as he cries all night. Shelton does something I miss to take over on Jeff. Jeff gets dumped to the floor, and Masters slams him. Shelton sends Jeff back in, and tags Masters, who drops an elbow. Masters with a suplex for 2. JR: “Hardy wiggles out of a perdickerment!” Jeff tries for a tag, but Masters cuts him off and tags Shelton. Kicks. Ninja chokeout. Jeff elbows out, but Shelton clubbers him down. Lawler, over a shot of Carlito: “That man right there is a huge crowd favorite!” You could have fooled me. Shelton clubbers, then sits on Jeff’s back horsy style, then clubbers. Jeff fights back a bit, ducks a clothesline, and gets Shawn Michael’s Wife in the Wind. No, not Cocky the Gamecock. Carlito is tagged in to do stuff. Springboard elbow. Something else. Jeff comes in for an illegal fancy kick. Carltio does more springboard stuff. Masters now shoves Jeff into Carlito, Shelton rolls up Carlito, grabs the ropes, and gets 3. Now everyone is arguing with everyone because Carlito blames Jeff for the loss and Masters wanted to win instead of Shelton and this is stupid. At the end, they play Jeff Hardy’s music because HE FUCKING LOST.
Commercials. Smoking weed is boring, we learn.
Chicago Bears are in attendance. Who cares?
RETODD speaks with THAT PUN-LOVIN’ EDGE and THE TOP ATHLETIC PERSON WRESTLER MAN ON THIS SHOW. Edge: “Well Retodd…” (to Randy) “…get it?” Randy says he and Edge are “Rated RKO,” which is stupid. Edge declares that the three Cyber Sunday special ref choices will be Bischoff, Coach, and Vince, and all three will be at ringside tonight. Yeehaw. Lawler or JR, I forget which: “If you could win the match by running your mouth it would be a walk in the park for Randy Orton!” Yeah, but he’d fucking fall into a lake.
Various stars talk about “The Marine.” Maria, even when out of character, really is quite stupid.
I SHOULD START GETTING UP EARLIER AND CALL MYSELF JOHNNY DAYTRO and GREEN EGGS AND HAM hang out. Nitro: “For real though, drop it like it’s hot.” That pretty much sums it up. While I suppose it’s possible Nitro really is a complete putz playing himself, this sketch works for me when I imagine Nitro is a conscious parody but K-Fed is completely serious with his idiocy. I also imagine the reason Melina isn’t in this sketch is because she was struggling not to laugh at Federline last week.
Commercials. The WWE Cell Cage, where Cell fights Goku for like fifty goddamned episodes and then Goku just stops and says he wants Gohan to fight for fifty goddamned episodes and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as me and DBZ was concerned.
KNM arrive. I really like the shot of glowing, radioactive Melina sliding into the ring shot from the front in the MN/NM entrance video. Whatever weird polka-dot pattern she’s wearing is really accentuated by the weird flashing post-production effect. JR: “I’m a Skittle-eating fool!” Lawler, on K-Fed: “Everyone wants to be like him. He’s wearing a hat, you’re wearing a hat.” DON’T MESS WITH ME OR I WILL TELL A BITING FART JOKE ABOUT BITING FARTS is out. Haha, two-part “YOU CAN’T SEE ME” sign, but “you can’t” is obstructing our view of “see me.” Irony. Lawler: “Everybody’s happy that Cena is here, except for that man, K-Fed!” And most of the crowd by the sounds of things. Cena starts out with punchings. Nitro sent to the ropes and clotheslined. Cover for 2. Cena with more clubbering. Imperfectplex, but Melina is on the apron distracting the ref. K-Fed distracts Cena so Nitro can attack. Clubbering. Nitro with foot-choking. Melina screams. Nitro with a neckbreaker. SHADES OF JOEY MERCURY. A cover gets 2. Modified ninja chokeout. K-Fed: “Choke him out!” With a stupid side neck-vice move. Melina stands there looking beautiful, and seemingly unaware she’s on camera. I keep noticing Melina, and I mentioned Lucy Liu for some reason earlier…this is a far hornier rebeak than usual. Cena breaks out, hits the ropes, and Nitro ducks a crossbody which sees Cena lands hilariously on his face. Melina points and laughs. Nitro tosses Cena out, and K-Fed waits twenty years for Cena to rise so he can slap him in the face. Cena Cena’s-Up, but Nitro comes out of screen left with a crossbody. Melina screams. From scream left. Nitro does the “brush shit off my shoulder” thing, then bounces Cena’s face off a table. Nitro sends Cena back in. Cena punches back. JR: “Cena dancing with what brung him, that right hand!” Is that a euphemism for masturbation? Nitro comes back with a shoulderblock or something. Nitro with a sleeper to give us time for replays of K-Fed’s slap. Cena powers out of the sleeper and drops Nitro on his back. Naptime. Both men up. Cena ducks whatever and takes over with his stupid flying shoulderblocks. Here’s that side suplex thing he does. Cena gives K-Fed a look. YCSM, FKS, Marine salute. F-U. JR: “Nitro may be dishonorably discharged!” If you find Johnny Nitro in your discharge, contact a doctor immediately. But not the Doctor of Thugonomics, he’ll just make fun of you while rapping poorly. Anyway, Cena wins, big shock. Cena stalks K-Fed on the outside. K-Fed backs up the apron, and falls on his ass. CHAMPIONS OF CHAMPIONS waddle out to attack. Well, Show waddles more than Booker does, really. Booker beats Cena down while Show pretty much just stands there. Ok, once Cena is in the ring and dead, Show does a chokeslam. Show and Book shake hands, BUTWAIT Book pulls him into the Book End, which is just fine since Book is about a million times better than Show. Scissors Kick on Cena. Title-belt motions from Booker. Booker: “I AM THE CHAMPION’S CHAMPION!” K-Fed: “CENA SUCKS!” Fans: “YOU SUCK!”
Wow, Smackdown will have guest stars from the other brands. That’s a switch.
Commercials. Blech.
The Slam of the Week sponsored by Scarface is Cryme Tyme committing Scarfacian crimes. Kenny also totally leaves the Spirit Squad.
THIS ISN’T KENNY IT’S HIS TWIN BROTHER BENNY WHO IS BORROWING KENNY’S JERSEY are in the ring. And Kenny is still there. TORT TERM come out to pretty much no reaction, so maybe last week’s mad face pop was because of fiddling with the audio. One Squaddie distracts JTG so another can attack. JR tells us this is non-title, killing any suspense dead. One Squaddie steps into the other’s hands and gets launched into a flippity splash move for two. Squaddie clubbering. JTG tries to fight back, but no. Some squaddie with a slingshot delayed vertical suplex, which you don’t see often. The slingshot part looked unintentional, though. Modified ninja chokeout, JTG fights out, but gets dropkicked. Some Spirit Squad Guy At Ringside: “KILL HIM!” JTG finally tags Shad somehow, and Shad immediately takes over with being tall. He punches one of them so hard they fly out of the ring. Some Squaddie goes off the top on him, but he catches them and tosses them to the floor. JTG sneaks in to assist illegally with their finisher, the “G9.” And that wins it. It’s nice to see the one who is good (JTG) is already jobbing like a motherfucker while the one who is tall but fucking sucks (Shad) is portrayed as unstoppable. The Spirit Squad all gather to check on a fallen comrade, but then fucking crazy Kenny goes up top and legdrops the guy. Kenny grabs a mic and cuts his teammates a new asshole. Kenny: “You lost match after match, to Ric Flair!” The fans woo. Kenny: “You guys respect Ric Flair? That’s nice. I DON’T!” He wants to face Ric Flair, with none of his shitty teammates at ringside. Did Kenny just turn face? Well, he did with The Artist Formerly Known As Boobermonkeys.
This graphic of Bischoff, Vince and Coach says “Impartial Observers?” with the question mark because otherwise the fans would totally believe they’re impartial. Why does Bischoff hate DX? Does he even hate DX?
This Week in Wrestling History, Halloween Havok’s Chamber of Horrors match. The voice-over guy makes fun of it as the stupidest thing ever. I’m not going to bother to point out the hypocrisy of only mocking wrestling’s past when it’s WCW, because WCW really did nail “cosmically bad matches” better than WWE. I mean, Taker being buried and coming back to life was boring bad, not Doomsday Cage fucking great to watch bad.
I DON’T GET THE RETODD JOKE FROM EARLIER SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN is shooting shirts into the crowd with the shirt gun. WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THE FAT WOMAN JUMPING ON PEOPLE IN JACKASS 2 WAS YOU IN DISGUISE show up. In a surprisingly funny bit, Eugene accidentally shoots Estrada in the crotch as he hits the UUUUU in UUUUUUMAGA! After far, far too long a pause, Umaga attacks Eugene. JR and Lawler bemoan Umaga tearing up Eugene’s Chicago Bears’ suck-up jersey. Face Full of Ass. Estrada continues to sell the crotch. We learn that the Cybermen can vote for Umaga’s opponent at Cyberman Sundae (made with delicious silver sprinkles but NO GOLD.) It can be either Benoit or Sandman. Plz vote for Sandman, I don’t want to see Benoit job to this goof. Not that I’m going to see the match either way. Wait, I decided Benoit was a Cyberman at some point, so he’d have the home field advantage. There’s no holding him back…he’s not driven by fear cause fear’s an emo-tioooon and you’re under attaaaaack…and…I forget the words so no punchline. Sorry.
Commercials. You wouldn’t have liked it anyway.
Footage of the Japan Tour. The Japanese love DX. SUCKA RIT!
SLACKJAW HOOOOOOOOOOOOO (CHANTS “USA” AT AN AMERICAN) yells at THE ONLY PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE WHO LIKES DUGGAN, telling him to stop being so nice and “fire it up.” So Eugene attacks Hacksaw. This could just be the beginning of the worst storyline ever.
QUEERLEADERS HAHAHA CUZ THEY’RE GAY are all in the ring, because it was a big fat lie before. I FORGET WHY WE ARE FUEDING BUT THAT’S OK I ALSO FORGOT WHAT I HAD FOR BREAKFAST comes out and says “I’ve always had my back covered!” Even when throwing it to those ancient bitches, Ric Flair always wore a shirt. BRIGADIER ALASTAIR GORDAN LETHBRIDGE-SLAUGHTER and OCK, ZOE, ME FOOT are here, and, uh, MY ARM’S ALL HEALED UP FROM WHEN THE HORSEMEN BROKE IT AND I’M READY TO FIGHT FOR RIC FLAIR? JR: “The son of a plumber!” Yeah, Dusty and Ric Flair were totally best friends 4eva. The next time Arn Anderson needs back-up, out will hobble Sid Vicious with a pair of scissors. Kenny backs Flair into a corner, but Flair slips out and…go on, take a guess! He chops him. Kenny takes over with a back body drop. He goes up top for a big ol’ missile dropkick for 2. Bunches o’ punches. Kenny wants a Figure-4, but yeah right, Flair kicks him off into the corner. Chops. Rolling kneedrop. The other Spirit Squad members distract Flair, so Kenny rolls him up and grabs the tights for 3. What a stupid random end to a stupid random angle. All of the Spirit Squad attacks, as though that’s gonna work, and the legends attack with their trademark stupid offense. Kenny retreats, and leaves the rest to die. Dusty does the Bionic Elbow. Piper does a Bionic Elbow because it strikes him as an innovative newfangled move he should try to incorporate into his offense. We play The American Dream’s music because he is THE NEW WINNER OF THIS MATCH! So…Kenny is being reheeled, but is the rest of the Spirit Squad being turned face? More likely they’re being turned OVW, and then turned fired.
Here’s more crap about The Marine, and this time it’s centered on T-1000.
Commercials. I guess I don’t know anything about lease prices Casey Mazda, because your deal really doesn’t sound as exciting to me as you seem to find it.
Brooke Hogan has a new CD out called Untalented HAHAHA I mean Undiscovered (I am a card.)
PLEASE DON’T MAKE FUN OF MY RETODDATION talks to RETODD JOKES? PERHAPS EDGE ISN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL. DX, that is. It isn’t funny. Like, Triple H says “plethora” and “cornucopia” with no joke attached, it’s just supposed to be funny that he says those words. Now they pretend to be on an elevator. Triple H cracks himself. By pretending he’s on an elevator when he really isn’t. I begin to suspect it’s more of a “I can’t believe I’m doing this” smile. HBK then pretends his elevator stopped working and he has to climb down non-existent stairs. Next week I fully expect them to play peek-a-boo with the camera.
Oh wait, fans can also vote for Umaga to face Kane at Cyberman Sunday. You know, for those fans who missed it the first three times.
Old pals CONTROVERSY CREATES COACH meet COCK COCKS COCK in the hallway. Vince sends Coach away to talk to Eric “privately” IN FRONT OF A CAMERA BROADCASTING THE WHOLE CONVERSATION TO THE ENTIRE WORLD I HATE THE WWE. You have to be careful in communication with Eric Bischoff, as he sometimes can’t hear and see what the audience does if that something is the Ultimate Warrior appearing in Hogan’s mirror. Eric: “Quid pro quo.” If Triple H said that, it would be really, really funny. Funnier that a British person saying “banana.” Vince pretends to get a call from his stockbroker so he doesn’t have to do anything tonight. Vince, to his phone: “What do you mean? What did it hit?” His favorite stock just hit something WITH A STEEL CHAIR!
Commercials. Yawn.
Earlier tonight, Cena stuff. Can this please be the end of Federline’s involvement?
THE BELOVED is Eric Bischoff. Thanks to JR for the nickname. JR, I love you maaan! THE BECOACHED is out next. He always has the best theme music. WE ALMOST DIDN’T GET HERE IN TIME OUR IMAGINARY CAR STOPPED WORKING AND WE HAD TO PRETEND TO WALK is here. That’s the breaks, little man. Twenty minutes later: “Are you ready?” Triple H compares Edge and Orton to Siegfried and Roy. Lawler, on Lita: “I heard she’s Rated E for Everyone. I don’t know. John Cena told me that one.” Don’t blame Cena. RATED B FOR BETTER THAN LAWLER get a full entrance, by the way. Man, they’re going to stretch this out to another break, aren’t they? Clever of Edge to counter Triple H’s Siegfried and Roy joke by having a girlfriend. CHAMPION OF PUBLIC SPEAKING RESIDES ON RAW finally comes out. And…we go to break.
Commercials. MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!!
Orton’s music has been playing throughout the break, or so we’re meant to believe. Circling. Randy kicks and clubbers. Triple H punches. Randy reverses a corner whip but runs into an elbow. Trips gets a neckbreaker out of nowhere. A cover for 2. Suplex, crotch-chop, “Harley Race kneedrop.” Triple H Papa Shangos and gets kicked, but Randy runs into a spinebuster anyway. Shades of Arn Anderson. Triple H bounces Randy’s face into the steps when both men leave the ring for some reason. They go back in, and some really retarded-sounding fan is cheering for Randy. Is that Borat? Randy takes over while I try to remember Borat’s name. JR: “Rated RKO Team!” Triple H punches back, but gets DDT. Even more shades of Arn Anderson. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, RANDY ORTON IS DOING THE GARVIN STOMP! He’s actively trying to get worse. Haha, JR also calls it, and sounds completely puzzled as he does so. Randy with his favorite move, the ninja chokeout. Rest assured, we’ve has like thirty shots each of Coachman and Bischoff doing nothing. Triple H escapes the true, unmodified ninja chokeout, so Randy runs around and waits to get knee-lifted. Triple H gets a facebuster on the knee. Lita hops up on the apron, distracting Triple H so Randy can do the RKB. Lawler: “Lita pretty much, self-sacrificing herself!” JR: “Oh, let’s feel sorry for Lita!” So bitter. Shawn Michaels gets on the apron, and Orton ends up knocking the ref into HBK. Triple H wants the Pedigree, but the ref is out so Edge comes in a spears him. Mr. Spears Sucks. Edge leaves the ring to get clubbered by HBK. HBK goes into the ring and pulls out Coachman, who was…counting the pinfall? Anyway, Coachman gets soupar kicked. Edge recovers and smashes HBK into the ringpost, then goes into the ring to try for another spear. This time, Triple H sidesteps and Edge goes flying out of the ring. Bischoff gives Orton a steel chair, allowing Orton to KO Trips. The ref magically recovers to count 3, and JR is losing his voice AGAIN screaming with indignation and shock that the match with like four people cheating on Orton’s behalf ended with Orton winning via cheating. JR: “Steel chair on cranium! Steel chair wins!” Play its theme music.
Final Thoughts: FilmCans IMed me as this show was ending and said something like, “Was that the best RAW in forever or was I just in a really good mood?” I hate to be contrary, but I’m gonna go with answer B. Not that I can really think of a much better recent RAW, actually.
