STAR TREK: The alternate dimension’s evil Terran empire was ruled by Empress Hoshi Sato? Hoshi and the Black Guy were important!? It really IS Bizarro World!
SAILOR MOON: Oh man, this show really is better all Jappified. So, there’s this episode where Lita does the weird starry-eyed roses in the background visual when seeing Amara, which is weird but whatever. When Makoto does the same thing with Haruka, Usagi decides Makoto just did an OMG LESBIAN turn. And she proceeds to inform the other Senshi, who debate the issue. It turns into a big argument about who’s more lesbian than who (with Usagi producing some magazine Rei owns dedicated to a female pop-group who perform in drag) which only ends when Ami basically screams at everyone to shut the fuck up because the Death Busters are after Makoto (which I forgot to mention but had been established.) Eventually, Ami calls Makoto with the goofy Dick Tracy communicator watch thing to find out where she is, but Rei interrupts and tells Makoto “Don’t give up! There’s plenty of good-looking guys out there!”
TRIGUN: I saw Trigun (my favorite anime that is generally considered not shitty) for the first time in a while last night. I’d watch it if I knew when it was on. Anyway, I was again reminded of how startlingly similar the thematics are to those of Sailor Moon. Though to be identical, you’d have to drop all the Scouts but Moon and Mars. And Mars would have to bite the dust after attempting to spare her old mentor. Grandpa, let’s say. I’m vaguely amused by the idea of Darien and Chad working for the Bernard Whatever Insurance Company. And of Serena only being able to defeat her evil brother (Sammy) by spontaneously learning the Mars Celestial Fire Surround.
I just spent that entire “Trigun” paragraph talking about Sailor Moon. Sad, really.
Ugh, and I’m not even done, as I have to wade through jokes about everyone’s third-favorite Scout. You see, with all these wonderful updates to the Weekly Visitor Glossary, I now know who everyone else’s third favorite Scouts are. Supes went with Mars, presumably ranked a little low because of her incredible bitchiness. Sofa went with Mercury, who generally ends up one or two on most lists but is a decent pick for three. EvilJon went with Saturn. Intriguing. He must be big on the Super S manga. The only real disappointment was Mideon. I mean, Mini-Moon? You’ve got to be shitting me. Who’s your favorite, Pluto? Hahahaha. Mideon actually likes Sailor Pluto.
You have no idea how funny that was.
All right, I’m warning you up front, I screwed up and used a tape that didn’t quite have enough space left to get the end of the show. I basically missed the entire main event, and since I was watching the show live on a different TV, I didn’t realize this was the case until I was getting ready to rebeak it. This sucks, because the main event featured the return of the best way to end any match ever. I’d enjoy Steamboat vs Flair part 3 even more if right at the end, they cut to a shot of Triple H tapping out to Chris Benoit.
I OWE IT ALL TO D-VON DUDLEY is hitting on I OWE IT ALL TO GIVING VINNIE MAC A HUMMER. Yuck. He’s like, nibbling on her and shit. I COULDN’T GO TO ENGLAND BECAUSE THEY HAVE LAWS AGAINST WEARING SPORTS JACKETS OVER T-SHIRTS. He tells Bimbana to take a hike, but Batista tells her to stay. Eric: “Whatever.” Hey Dave, don’t go searching for nose candy on camera. Eric announces an eight-man tournament to determine a new number one contender. The “Gold Rush Tournament.” Golddust Tournament. Eric tries to give Batista the night off. Batista wants to hang around. Batista tries to book himself in a match against Eric Bischoff for some reason. Oh, he was kidding. What the fuck was that?
Groo. Another one for the Glossary.
“PEEPS” sign. How long can you defy the peepulation, WWE bookers? Speaking of which, the first *weird heavy breathing abruptly cut off* Golddust tournament match features THE BEST RAPPER IN THE WWE (w/ THE LADIES CALL ME T-SQUARED, AND BY LADIES I MEAN JONATHAN COACHMAN.) Face pop, as always. He might actually fucking win. They’re almost pushing him recently. Oh, nevermind, he’s facing I BEAT VISCERA ON HEAT…I MEAN AT BACKLASH (w/THE COCONUT CYCLONE IS MY FAVORITE MOVE…IN BED.) I guess he could win by countout or something. That would make his career singles record 5-3,278 and mark his first ever victory over a non-Canadian. Kane was born IN HELL which is not Canada. Or maybe he’s from Death Valley or Houston or someplace. Christian will have lost by the time I shut the fuck up. Chrisian initially flees, but then he gets all up in Kane’s area and slaps his chest and makes title belt motions and probably describes the method of his rolling. Kane laughs at him and shoves him so hard Christian flies out of the ring. Hey WWE? Fuck you. Christian comes back in and has his punches no-sold as Lawler tries to convince us Christian can win. Kane big boots Christian and tosses him to the floor again. JR doesn’t think Kane is very “empathetic.” I suppose he isn’t. I wonder what JR meant to say? Tomko stalks around, and Kane wanders into a drop toe-hold onto the steps by Christian. Christian goes back in, and Tomko gets in a few licks. Christian hops onto the second turnbuckle and gives Kane a crossbody block. Lucha Christian! Put on a fucking shirt, Lita. Christian tosses Kane in and does some rope-choking. Kane punches. Christian pulls him into the corner for stompery and boot choking. More rope choking. Christian stands on Kane’s back and screams. I like Christian, but he needs to cut back on the choking. Christian with an inverted DDT, and a cover for 2. He messes with a turnbuckle for some reason. Kane Kanes-Up and punches Christian. He sends Christian to the ropes and alley-oops him. He sends Christian to the corner and clotheslines him, but then rushes into a boot. Christian rushes into a Goozle, but manages to slip out and applies a sleeper. Kane turns it into a sidewalk slam. Lawler says Captain Charisma looks like “Captain Crunch.” Kane plans to crunchatize him. Captain. Kane goes up top, but Tomko shoves him down. Christian hooks the Unprettier, but that never works and Kane sends him to the ropes. Kane trying for the Tombstone or something, but Christian slips out and thumbs him in the eye. Tomko on the apron, but Kane reverses a whip and the heels collide. Chokeslam, 1, 2, 3, fuck you, WWE. Kane vs Batista is MONEY, baby! Tomko tries to attack, but Kane kicks his ass too. That’s how unstoppable Kane is, he can even defeat Tyson Tomko. Ungodly. JR: “Tomko likes the cheapshit, let’s see how he likes the chokeslam!” Shut up.
Backstage, Christian walks around. MY ROBES PAVED THE WAY FOR MODERN DICK JACKETS says “hee hee!” Now he raps at Christian. “You lost the match kid, so take it from the Naitch, the winner of this tournament, will be Triple H! Woo! Woo!” Christian: “I hate that guy.” I love these guys.
Commercials. I stopped the tape to finish off Rugal, and learn that winning single attack mode doesn’t unlock shit in KoF 2002.
DON’T MARRY HIM STARFIRE and NOT WITHOUT COVERING YOUR FACE show up. Damn it, they didn’t bother to set up a segment for them to interrupt. Shitty fatties pose like Hogan. We hear a lot more of their music than usual. Fan sign: “Daivari speaks English.” Indeed. Next week, someone will hold up a sign saying “Grapes can be purple or green.” Always providing useful information. Fan shirt: “Yankees Suck.” I would counter by saying that walruses have tusks. Some fan has a wanted, dead or alive poster of Hassan with alive crossed out. Class. Daivari speaks some non-English. Now Hassan talks. I spend most of his promo listening to Pee-Wee get HASSAN’D. As Super Asia pointed out on the phone the other day, what makes that work is that it totally looks like Hassan is gonna break down the door of the playhouse and fucking slit Pee-Wee’s throat. OH SHIT, Hassan is blaming Daivari for the loss at Backlash! No! He fucking SLAPS him. Shit. I don’t think I can love babyface Daivari like I love heel Daivari. Hassan slaps him again, sending Daivari down. Now he kicks him in the fucking noggin’. The crowd chants for Hogan. Come on, fans! Daivari, Daivari, Daivari! Hassan leaves, and Daivari crawls after him. Fan sign: “Go home.” Hey, maybe Hassan lives in this arena. You don’t know. The segment ends without face-turn. And there’s not gonna be a Daivari match tonight, so I have a whole week to forget “Ayatollah Jam.”
Commercials. Blah.
VISCERA IS MY HERO according to some fan sign. Nothing is more heroic than rape. Excuse me, surprise sex. Apparently, Viscera murdered Trish. Lawler and JR declare it ok because Trish said mean things to him. Wow. Viscera corners Lillian Garcia. He’s a big man who likes to “eat spicy.” Lillian Garcia is a spicy Latina, we learn. Since when? He wants to go south of the border. Is forced cunnilingus more or less disturbing than regular rape? RAPE IS THE ONLY SEX YOU’LL EVER GET, FATTY is Simon Dean, who decides to invade. The huge scary man who wants to rape people is the face here folks, and the guy who tries to stop him is a heel. Simon: “Women, they don’t want a man who is out of shape, like you or David Wells.” Guess he’s some Boston sports dude. Dean tells Viscera he’s fat. Simon offers him some free Simon System, “from one bad-ass to another.” Viscera attacks. Slaps. Simon sent to the ropes, sliding between Viscera’s legs, but his punches are no-sold. Vis shoves him. Bodyslam. Tree of Whoa This Guy is Fat. Fatvalanche. JR: “He doesn’t know if he’s Simon Dean or James Dean right now!” What? Vis misses an elbow. Simon covers for 2. Punches by Simon. Simon goes up for the Stupid, and ends up kinda sorta getting Embalmered on his way down. Fat ass splash. This match is mercifully over. Oh shit, the segment isn’t, as he goes up to Lillian. “Big Vis is back on the market. The Black Market.” Then he tears off her shirt. Oh, wait, she was always dressed like that.
The tournament bracket graphic is pretty stupid when none of the participants have been announced. Lawler: “You and I don’t even have a clue!”
Commercials. At last, a first-person shooter in which you kill aliens.
SUCH A FUCKING SCUZZY BISCHOFF checks in on some whores. The way they are barely audible with their “bye” amuses me. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE ME is Triple H, who is angary! He yells and shit. He blames incompetent referees for his loss at Backlash. Good zebras are hard to find. Bischoff is all “whatever.” Triple H talks some more.
OH GOD SHE’S AWFUL can’t get through one sentence without fucking up. DRAGON WARRIOR is Shelton Benjamin. I have no knowledge of DW to use for nickname fodder. Sorry. He’s got his arm on her, and she’s all smiley. How can he rape her if she wants it? Black people are rapists. That’s what WWE has taught me. SHEEP ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN FOR RAPING comes in and offers Shelton indy respect. Shelton teases being all OMG HEEL, but then he accepts. Jericho says they may meet in the Golddust tournament. Chris: “Wouldn’t that be peculiar!” Shelton, in weird, high-pitched voice: “Oh wouldn’t it!” Somehow, this reminds me of when you name your team The Foppish Bumbershoots, and Tazz squeaks “A CAPITAL IDEA!!!” Jericho removes the proverbial shades and tells us he wants to be champion. Shelton shakes his hands. Goof fiends batter enemas.
In Memory of Chris Candido graphic. That’s something of a surprise. I always liked Candido well enough, I suppose. I wouldn’t be an IWC moron if I didn’t express some opinion of him.
Commercials. I hate this XTREEEEM Right Guard commercial. Now a fat black man informs me that he loves fried chicken. Come on, couldn’t you work rape in somehow?
I’ve got to remember, it’s “surprise sex.”
Triple H’s name has been added to the tournament graphic. They couldn’t wait for his opponent to be announced, his name needed to be there right away!
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME WHEN I WANT SEEEEEX is out for his Golddust championship match. Lawler: “You know what, I hope Shelton Benjamin’s opponent is Triple H!” He says it all angry, but I have no idea what he means by that. He wants Triple H to lose? Triple H always loses to Shelton. It’s one of the things I love about Shelly, as the kids call him. Wait, I mean Benji. JR describes Shelton’s moves as “un-inhuman.” He’s not undead, he’s partially… Now JR says, “Boost Mobil, where you at!?” It amuses me. Lawler says he hopes Triple H comes out here and does things “that have never been done to Shelton Benjamin in a wrestling ring.” There’s so many ways to go in making fun of that, I’m a little stuck. Instead, we hear the stirring theme of THE BUTT RAPE KID. Such a filthy week for nicknames. Shelton’s all “Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?” Lawler starts screaming like he’s one of the God-damned Chipmunks. Shelton seems to disapprove of HBK’s faggy outfit. Hands off the merchandise. Circling, lock-up, and HBK goes behind and gets a waistlock takedown. Shelton escapes and does some amateur stuff, wrestling circles around HBK who goes to the ropes to escape. Shelton gives HBK a little “I’m better than you” smirk and lets him go. Lockup, and they fight over a hammerlock. HBK gets another waistlock takedown, but Shelton goes all amateur on him again and HBK has to flee to the ropes. Looking a little pissed. Shelton’s all smiles. The fans chant for HBK. Headlock takedown by HBK. Shelton gets up, sends HBK to the ropes, and eats a shoulderblock. HBK counters an armdrag with an armdrag, then goes for…something, but gets kicked right in the fucking face. HBK runs into a couple of armdrags, then retreats to the corner and yells in frustration. Lockup, headlock takedown by Shelton, and he tries to maneuver HBK into a pinning predicament. HBK rolls Shelton into one for 2. And again. I already referred to Ric/Ricky earlier. HBK gets to his feet, punches his way out of the headlock, and slaps on his own headlock. Shelton sends him into the ropes, but HBK gets a shoulderblock. Some goofy kinda roll-up whose name I don’t know by HBK for 2. Shawn slugs Shelton right in the face. Chop. Shelton sent to the ropes, Shawn Papa Shangos, and Shelton floats behind him, and it all ends with Shelton Cactus Clotheslining both men out. Shelton lands on his feet and goes back in to pose. I like this.
Commercials. Foreign hotties just love X-Box driving games. Buy it and they’ll totally fuck you, dude.
What’s with me and all the sex stuff today?
We’re back, and Shawn is trying to give Shelton a back superplex, but Shelton turns in mid-air and turns it into a crossbody block. Ouch, HBK’s face got driven into Shelton’s ribs and nobody can feel real good after that. EVAD is watching backstage. Both men up, and HBK starts chopping. HBK hits the ropes, but runs into a big ol’ Samoan Drop by Shelton. Both men slow to rise. Shelton gets the best of a punchfest, and goes for a flying forearm. Clotheslines aplenty, and there’s the crazy-ass backbreaker. It gets 2. He sends HBK to the ropes and Papa Shangos. HBK kicks him, does some chopping, etc. Flying forearm, and this week, Lawler does not attempt to predict the kip-up. Which breaks the ref’s count at 8. HBK looking to…SHELTON KIPS UP! HAHAHAHA! HBK tries something, but gets sunset flipped for 2. Crazy pinfall reversal sequence. Those meant a lot more back when people sometimes lost that way. HBK chops Shelton down. Shelton reverses a corner whip…Stinger Splash connects! Looking for the Exploder, but HBK elbows out and back body drops him. HBK uses the ropes to get up. HBK wants sweet chin music, Shelton ducks, HBK catches Shelton’s kick, MONEY CLIP, BITCH. It gets 2.99999, as always. Shelton sets HBK up top. HBK punches him off. HBK looking for the Macho Elbow, it connects! HBK is spazzing out and dry-humping the mat. Tuning up the band. He’s bleeding out of the mouth. Athena Assamiya performs Sweet Chin Music. Because the old dude on her team is named Chin. And she’s a pop idol. Ha-HA! Shelton ducks the SCM and kicks HBK’s fucking nose off. 2.999999 again. Shelton elbows HBK down, then hops off the corner post with a flying clothesline for 2.99999. Shelton sent to the ropes, he starts to go out but stays on the apron. HBK is on the other end of the ring, thinking Shelton is out. HBK turns around, Shelton springboards across the entire length of the motherfucking ring, and HBK SUPERKICKS HIM OUT OF MID-AIR! Some lucky fan in the front row gets to take Shelton’s fucking face home as a souvenir. Christ. No one is getting up from that. HBK advances to the second round. Everyone lies there dead for awhile. Ross: “He could not stop in mid-air! He had nowhere to go, but eatin’ the foot of Shawn Michaels!” He likes to eat the spicy Latina foot. Here’s a replay, in slow motion, of Shelton getting fucking murdered. Bloody HBK keeps looking at Shelton.
MISTER MONEY IN THE BANK MAN is interviewed by A MYSTERIOUS NEWCOMER. Todd Grisham. Haha, Edge calls him “Big T.” Edge left Benoit in an unconscious heap last night. Don’t disturb the heap. Todd points out that if Edge is drafted to Smackdown, he’s fucked out of his title-shot. Fuck. Edge no-sells this fact. Now he walks off, and we follow him to THE BEST FEMALE WRESTLER LEFT and THE BEST BLOWJOB IN THE WWE. I don’t know. And I’m forgetting Shawn Michaels. Edge wants to know what Victoria and Lita are looking at. Victoria: “Absolutely nothing.” Say it again. I’m not sure what purpose that served.
Commercials. The Casino Cinema guys don’t even know who is in whatever movie they’re watching.
Our Stacker 2plex of the week is Hurricane and Rosey becoming the tag champions for God knows what reason.
THE WORLD CHAMPIONS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO COLLECTIVELY BEAT TRIPLE H are out. Hurricane dances around like he holds some important championship or something. This match is sponsored by some hotel or something. They will defend their titles against WE WILL NEVER GET A TAG TITLE SHOT AGAIN EVER. La Res. I get to call them that because we’re tight. I take a break to watch House. House is still good, but it was better before they decided it needed a romantic subplot. And now Fox News runs a headline that contains the words “SAILOR MURDER.” Hahaha. On behalf of the Planet Murder, she will scold you severely. Or maybe it refers to the murder of an existing Scout. Sailor Moon found dead today. Sailor Mars was found on the scene with a knife, repeatedly mumbling, “I told her to shut up. She wouldn’t shut up.” Anyway, on with this shitty tag match. JR: “I do eat French Fries, I’ve made that clear.” Yes you have, fatty. Rosey shoves down Grenier and his awful new haircut. Sylvain punches and goes for a sunset flip like a retard. Rosey sits on him. JR says that Rosey has lost weight. The ref chats with the Hurricane as Conway pulls down the ropes and sends Rosey crashing to the floor. Gernier sends him into the steps. Hurricane tries to help, but he gets double-teamed on the floor. La Res send Rosey back in, and Grenier covers for 2. Tag to Conway for punches. Elbow drop, and JR remembers that Conway is from Kentucky. Lawler starts talking about walruses. JR: “Rosey, when you Tivo this, that was the King that called you a walrus.” Hurricane is knocked off the apron. Grenier in for crap. Now Conway is back, and La Res go for the Hart Attack. All doubleteam moves should be called the Shine Aqua Illusion. JR: “The Teamwork! The Teamwork by La Resistance!” What a great name. Best move name since “The Impressive.” It only gets 2. Rosey fights the heels off and does a fatty roll to the corner. Hurricane with flying kicks and shit. Neckbreaker for whichever guy. Grenier sent to the corner, but Hurricane charges into a boot. Grenier up, but Hurricane catches him with a punch. Dragoncanrana! Conway breaks up the fall because he hates me and therefore wishes to prolong this match. Remember Conway’s debut as a fake GI who betrayed the Dudleyz? I enjoyed that, at least. Hurricane tosses Conway. Rosey scoops up Grenier for a sidewalk slams, and Hurricane sorts Eye of the Hurricanes him as he does it. Kinda. Not really. Call it a Modified Shine Aqua Illusion. It gets “the champs” the win.
Speaking of the Shine Aqua Illusion, here’s the Smackdown Rebound. Eddie pumps Rey up, and then brutally betrays him. Neither his glass bird nor Chad’s belt/ribbon can comfort Rey now. I love Rey’s crazy-eyes when Eddie shoved him down. Rey accidentally hit Eddie. Which causes Eddie to turn green while weird sound effects occur. He just watches Shine Aqua Illusion and does nothing to help. This is the best thing going on in WWE, even without half the cast having Sailor Moon connections.
Commercials. For stuff.
I MOVED THE BRIEFCASE squats down on the apron. I can’t imagine how he won the Last Man Standing match with that attitude. His opponent is SHELTON, SHELTON, MADE ME HIS BITCH. In the first couple of Smackdown games, it was impossible to tell these two apart. Lockup, and Jericho forces Edge into the corner. Cleanish break. Lockup, Edge goes behind, Jericho rings the arm and gets a hammerlock. Edge reverses, and goes for a headlock. Jericho works his way out with an overhand-wristlock, but Edge pulls the hair. Jawing occurs. Jericho slaps Edge, who stumbles into the ropes. Chops. Jericho bashes Edge’s face into the top turnbuckle. More chops. Edge reverses a corner whip, Jericho tries to climb up the ropes, but Edge shoves him off the ropes to the floor. Edge follows Chris out and rams his back into the security railing. Edge sends Jericho back in, and stomps. Elbowdrop by Edge, and a cover for…wow, less than 2! Edge paintbrushes him. Fake. Backbreaker for 2. Some fans chant “boring.” What the fuck? NOTHING CAN STOP THE ANIMAL WITH IT’S WHEEL-SPLITTING REACTION TRACTION watches on a monitor. Edge with a modified Ninja Chokeout. Jericho fights his way out, but Edge pokes him in the eye. Jericho stumbles into the ropes. Haha, Edge mocks the Shuffleyfeet, then tries for whatever you call the post-Shuffleyfeet attack, but Jericho turns around and hot-shots him. Clothesline by Jericho. Both men slow to rise. JR: “Edge got a little too arrogant for his britches.” Lawler: “What?” JR: “His pants. His tights. His lower apparel.” I’m, too arrogant for my pants, too arrogant for my pants so arrogant I…prance. Jericho with chops. Edge reverses a whip, but eats the flying burrito. Clotheslines aplenty. Jericho drop toe-holds Edge into the ropes. Shuffleyfeet, and his post-Shuffleyfeet attack works. Jericho with a rana for 2. Climb-up enzoogweeree for 2. Jericho sends Edge into the ropes, Papa Shangos, and gets kicked. Edge charges right into whatever Jericho calls that move. Kick by Jericho. Edge sent to the corner, Jericho wants the bulldog on the rebound, but Edge ducks it and big boots him on the rebound. Edge goes after the briefcase. Jericho springboard dropkicks him off the apron. Jericho with a plancha on Edge. Jericho rips some padding off the security railing, then slams Edge’s face into it. Jericho sends Edge in, and goes up top for THE STUPID. He lands on his feet with Edge behind him, so Edge Edge-o-matics him for 2. The fans chant “boring” again. This isn’t as good as Shelton/HBK, but fuck you, Boston. Edge looking for the Spear, misses! Jericho slaps on the Walls, but Edge is near the ropes and reaches them. Edge rolls out, grabs the briefcase, and clocks Jericho with it when the ref isn’t looking. Missile dropkick, and that’s…NO! Jericho kicks out at 2! Edge looking for a Christianesque freakout, but he pulls it together. Spear, and that’s it. He does crazy eyes and sticks his tongue out. Weirdo. He will face the winner of Triple H vs Benoit. Because Benoit is pretty much the only guy left, right?
Oh wait, Edge faces Shawn and Kane will face the winner of Trips vs Benoit. Which was Benoit. Man, I wish I got that on tape.
Commercials. Darth Slurpee? Jesus.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCK graphic. JR says the Rock says he can’t wait to come back and electrify the fans. What’s stopping you? I guess he’s looking for the Mountie’s shock stick.
DO I SMELL BACON? HONEY I LOVE YOU! is Chris Masters. Um…it’s something The Master from Manos said. Well, Joel said it, but he was talking as The Master. JR and Lawler try to work out the word “hermaphrodite.” JR thinks they’re called “Texas” or “Longhorns.” Hook ‘em horns, Cole! I never knew Tazz was telling Cole to grab his popo. Chris Masters cuts another shitty, boring promo. He ups the reward for somehow not being “choked out” by his full nelson to FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS! And some Boston sports junk. I’m not going to tell you what it is because it never figures in. He doesn’t even use it for local heat. He calls this week’s jobber TUBBY. Tubby the Teletubby. AGAIN! Lawler claims Chris Masters gave a man a sex-change operation. The jobber’s real name is James. Um…like the Team Rocket guy. Ha. Ugh. So, anyway, Masters chokes him out. Go back to picking on members of Starfire’s immediate family. Master’s throws the Boston sports stuff out of the ring. JR: “That’s valuable swag!” I don’t know why that’s funny.
Trips and Ric walk around backstage. And…my tape cuts out. I saw the main, and as you know, Benoit fucking wins. Awesome. Benoit was supposed to have been possibly concussed the night before, so he kept doing these awesome crazy eyes. And Dave pulled the bottom rope away from Triple H while he was in the Sharpshooter. This caused Trips to tap. Which was good.
Final Thoughts: Solid night, wrestling-wise. As much as I love making idiotic connections to ancient anime and stealing jokes from The Next Mideon, actually good wrestling is still the primary reason to watch these shows.
Well, maybe secondary. Or tertiary. But definitely a good reason.
Oh yeah, ironically, I wanted Val to wrestle this week so I could claim Artemis is the number one pimp in the OKC.
