BEE-LATED BIRTHDAY: The Tomo DVDs arrived on the same day as the KOTF 2 games in one game I decided to just buy for myself. Both games start much tougher than 2001, but neither have an end boss as shitty and cheap as Igniz. Fucking Igniz.
SAILOR MOON: Well, Sailor Moon S disproves the old notion that Japanese voices are always better, as Professor Tomoe is only largely awesome while Doctor Tomo is completely awesome. Yuichirou trying to leave Rei was a lot less melodramatic than Chad trying to leave Raye, but it made far more sense. He did think Amara was a man, that Rei had found someone else, and that he was never gonna git him none. And while Serena convinces Raye out of the blue that she deeply loves Chad (making it annoying that he almost never shows up after this,) all Usagi does is convince Rei to forgive Yuichirou for being such an idiot. And Rei’s feelings make more sense because she’s angry at Yuichirou for thinking she’d two-time him instead of just…randomly…whatever the fuck Raye was supposed to be feeling. In the end, all of this was trumped by the best line in the whole series, someone (possibly Venus but it was during a “everyone yells insanely at the same time” scene) saying “Let’s go French and get some wine!” You can pretend French is a verb there, see.
I RULE THE WASTELAND is Batista. Lawler: “What about…BATISTABOMB?” Starfire would hate that sentence. Dave: “I’m in England!” Sign: “Champ 4EVA Batista.” He introduces a man who “puts his body and mind on the line.” A man who did in one night what it took him two years to do. Beat Triple H. Not eat over a million nachos. Anyway, he borrows Yuna’s wand and summons GOOD OLDE JR. Batista wears the hat. Coach, in goofy voice: “Howdy folks, I’m the world heavyweight champion; I love good ol’ JR!” Batista claims Jimbo has skills. To pay the bills. The fans chant “JR.” Stupid Limeys. Batista: “You deserved that.” He means the chants, not the black eye. TRIPLE HAITCH comes out. Trips: “Enough! Enough! Enough! I have had it with this crap!” For once, I’m on his side. Batista: “Triple H! What a surprise!” Hahaha. The fans chant “asshole.” Batista: “What a surprise, for you to come out here and break up the good time. We never would have expected that. Actually I was wondering what took you so long.” Trips: “Let me tell you somethin’, Jack!” His name is Dave. Dave: “Since JR beat you last week, I think that makes JR the number one contender. So I’m thinkin’ at Backlash, maybe it’s Batista vs JR.” Hahaha. Dave rules. Trips: “Let me remind you, who the Hell I am!” Dave: “No no no no!” Dave and I are of one mind right now. We see a replay of JR beating Trips. Trips tries to talk, so Dave has the footage rolled again. As sick as I am of that footage, I’ll gladly watch it every time Triple H tries to talk. Trips takes off the jacket. Dave removes his as well. Trips with a slow stript-tease. Then he backs off. The crowd sings the hey-hey-hey, goodbye song for some reason. Now they “what” Triple H. That was weird.
Commercials. Hey, a local car show will feature some guy in a big, terrifying “Tommy the Rugrat” outfit. If you fast-forward, it kinda seems to be promoting Tommy Pickles vs Grave Digger.
We’re at “the nec arena” if this sign is to be believed. Sponsored by England’s number 1 supplier of nec. JR has taken over commentary. Damn it. Apparently, Trish will be dating Viscera. TONIGHT! Here’s set-up footage. Don’t break her heart, Vis. Oh fuck, Kane vs Viscera at Backlash. Who the FUCK thinks Viscera on a ppv is a good idea?
A SAUCY WENCH is nervous at a restaurant. Trish, to some dude: “Hey, you didn’t happen to see a five-hundred pound Black man with a white Mohawk and all in black and crazy eyes, did you?” Dude: “No.” Trish: “Are you sure?” Ha. I WORE A WHITE SHIRT SO AS NOT TO MATCH YOUR DESCRIPTION shows up. Trish, or anyone really saying “hey Viscera” as a greeting is awesome. Viscera announces that he went to the drug store. For some reason, they feel they can stretch out the fact that he bought condoms into some huge punchline. Funny, it doesn’t work for me on first dates to show her a ton of condoms either. Vis wants a table for two. Super Asia: “One for me, and one for my condoms.”
BRITS LOVE BRITCHES is actually wrestling. This Shelton vs Jericho graphic makes me think they’re looking at something incredibly interesting just off-screen. Jericho will be facing WE ARE CANADIAN FRANCOPHILES INSTEAD OF ANGLOPHILES OMG HEEL for some reason. The Brits are being punished for their pre-revolution oppression of America. It’s Grenier wrestling, while Conway just stands around being slightly-less awful. I can tell thanks to Lillian Garcia, who said “La Resistance member *twenty minute pause* Sylvan Grenier!” What the fuck, the chyron says “Sylvain.” That’s even worse than Sylvan. JR talks about “Shelton is a little bitch.” Lawler says Fozzy is playing in London. Playing tiddlywinks. Lawler: “Shelton Benjamin is a little bitch!” Sylvain attacks, stomping Jericho down in the corner and boot-choking and shit. Sylvain with a flapjack. JR calls it a “one-man flapjack.” One-man slapjack. Sucka. Holy shit, Sylvain does the “come on baybay” cover! Hahaha. Jericho rolls him up for 2. Chops by Chris, but Sylvain gets a back suplex for 2. La Chokeout De Ninja. Jericho fights out. Sylvain throws a knee, but gets rolled-up and I don’t care about these guys. Jericho does some shoulderblocks. Punch. Chops. Bulldog. JR: “Modified bulldog.” Massively modified Coconut Cyclone. You can barely see any connection between that bulldog and some chick shooting lightening around. Lionsault misses, but Jericho lands on his feet and gets the “climb-up enzugiri.” I couldn’t put enzoogweeree in quotation marks and attribute it to someone else. Haha, Conway hops up on apron and just spazzes the fuck out. It looks like he’s having a seizure to distract the ref. Jericho does a springboard dropkick to kill him. Clubber by Grenier. He tries a back suplex, but Jericho flips out and does a double-leg takedown into the Walls of Jericho. Grenier taps. Conway in for heel betings. THERE AIN’T NO BLACK IN THE UNION JACK comes in to save Jericho. He whoops La Resistance’s asses like a non-shitty champion. Jericho: “You had to take the spotlight, didn’t ya? At Backlash, I take your title.” Ingrate. Benjamin pulls him in for an Exploder. Fuck yeah. The fans boo. Fuck you, fans. Benjamin: “Who’s your bitch now?” He’s ain’t your nigga either. Bitch. Play his music. SHELTON BENJAMIN IS THE NEW WINNER OF THIS MATCH. AND HE IS NOT YOUR BITCH.
Commercials. Aren’t wax museums pretty much a nineteenth century form of entertainment? They should make a horror film about a haunted magic-lantern show.
MORE DATING WACKINESS! Trish and Vis continue their date. Weird how they’re on the same side of their table and facing us. Viscera needs help with his tie. Trish says “bangers and mash,” which causes Vis to claim he is a banger who likes to mash. Viscera: “Waiter, you see this page right here? That’s me right there dog. I’ll take it.” He wants dog? Does he think this is a Korean restaurant?
Hey, I had to assemble the menu of a Korean restaurant at work the other day. You could not only order “Man Doo,” you could also order “Man Doo Soup.” I’m totally serious.
I HEAR THAT UNEMPLOYMENT AND ANTI-IMMIGRANT SENTIMENT IS A REAL PROBLEM WITH MY ENGLISH PEEPS and I’M ON IT are chillin’ backstage. Christian is going to deliver a “State of the Peeps” address before his title shot. Like Henry the Fifth, stirring up the troops before Agincourt. I KNEW HENRY THE FIFTH, AND YOU SIR ARE NO HENRY THE FIFTH appears. That’s Ric Flair. A man who happens to be old. Flair: “Girls! Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, don’t really care…” God damn Ric Flair is awesome. He wants Christian and Tomko to soften Batista up for Triple H. He does this wonderful, insane Pedigree pantomime and provides realistic sound effects. Christian: “Before you give yourself a heart attack, I’m gonna tell you what Triple H is gonna do tonight, ok? I’m gonna tell you what Triple H is gonna do. Yeah, I’m gonna tell you. Exactly nothing. That’s what Triple H is gonna do, tonight. Tonight is my night, tonight is Captain Charisma’s night! To prove that he deserves to be in the main event. It’s not my that fault Triple H can’t hit a Pedigree on Batista. But if you wanna tell Triple H somethin’, don’t look at me like that in my dressing room. You wanna tell Triple H somethin’? You tell him if he wants some competition, maybe he should try getting himself drafted to Smackdown next month. Yeah, really! Maybe he can beat Michael Cole.” Beautiful. Then he has Tomko “escort Mr. Flair” out. That was the best thing ever.
Commercials. Who the fuck is Wee Man? “Jet Li’s the Enforcer.” Maybe Amy is Jet Li’s child. At least he’s Jappy. Or Chinese, whatever. Sonny Onoo is furious with me right now.
Fans stand in line.
THE KING OF PEEPMANIA and TYSON “THE BARBER” TOMKO head for the ring. The fans pop pretty loud for Double C, though they pop for everybody overseas. Sign: “Christian for PM.” Christian promises to talk slowly so the British idiots can understand him. “Nice teeth by the way.” HEEL. Christian says the Unprettier is better than the Pedigree. Careful, Tiger. Christian promises that if he goes to Smackdown, he will beat “that Ali-G rip-off John Cena.” He rolls in that manner. KANE INVADES! comes out for no fucking reason. Christian flees as Tomko falls over. Actually, he charges into a punch. Kane beats up Tomko. Some freako fan tries to touch Christian. Chokeslam. JR implies that Kane is just pissed about getting killed last week. Speaking of implication, I’d to thank Sofa for knowing how and when to use the word “infer.” No one gets that right. JR says Kane vs Viscera is “gonna be ugly.”
JUIPTER OAK EVOLUTION IS A MYSTERY is interviewed by WHORE. Whore: “Lita, from the looks of things, Kane seems focused, and ready to take revenge on what happened last week.” Super Asia in a Doctor Claw voice: “I’ll get you next time, what happened last week. Next time.” Lita talks, but who the fuck cares? The whore nods. The non-Lita one.
Commercials. I don’t think Asian people should wear leashes. Danny (or Doug) likes it when Gail Kim makes them wear a leash. I’ll stop now.
ALL I’M MISSING IS A NONSENSICAL SAILOR SCOUT CONNECTION is Christian. He walks the halls, constantly checking over his shoulder for Kane. He knocks on Evolution’s door. MR. FLAIR answers the door. Christian returns his jacket as an excuse for coming by. Flair asks where Tomko is, then totally fakes Christian out with the “OMG look behind you” point. Hahaha. Christian apologizes for…Tomko mouthing off. Hahahaha! “Sometimes you can’t shut the guy up, he spouts off at the mouth…but that idea you were talking about? That was good stuff.” He points to the side of his head to indicate intelligence. Naitch goes to Trips, and closes the door. Christian, looking around nervously for Kane: “All right Naitch, well hurry up. It’s not doing anybody any good to have me out here. I mean, we’d probably get a lot more accomplished if I was in there. Talkin’. ‘Bout stuff.” I AM HERE TO SPOIL THIS GOOD SEGMENT comes out and stares at the back of Christian’s head while Christian continues looking for Kane. Christian turns right into his face and does this awesome double-take. Christian: “Hey Trips, what’s going on, man? Chillin’? Lookin’ good.” Trips didn’t appreciate the Michael Cole crack, but still invites Christian in. Christian: “Sounds good. Let’s just talk in here, huh?”
MANOS HAS DECREED IT! KILL, KILL! comes out. Lawler: “Maybe we shouldn’t even talk.” I agree. Lawler compares Masters to “a sculptor in a museum.” Fucking retard. Someone shouts “YOU SUCK” during a lull in the music and just as Masters is about to hit his pose. JR says Masters has “every tool you need.” Did he come here today in a box? Lawler says “Michelangelo” as “Michael Angelo.” Masters claims that since no one in America could break the Masterlock (Booker T is a dirty African) he’s going to give the Brits a chance. Masters puts up 1000 pounds instead of dollars. Which is a good deal more money, actually. The guy from the crowd is named “Andy,” so I’m gonna pretend he’s ANDREW THE ARCADE CLERK WHO TALKS LIKE HE HAD A LOBOTOMY. He’s visiting England, learning English so he can increase Mina Kochan’s creepy crush on him. Not as creepy as Makoto’s. though. Masters: “Got it? Get it? Good.” JR is glad Andy is wearing dark pants, then says “this kid is amazingly strong” without specifying Masters, which has me imagining Andy’s incredibly strong pooping ability. I don’t even think of pants wetting until after. That is the incredible power Vince McMahon’s pants pooping has over my though processes. Haha, Lawler picks on JR for implying that Andy the jobber is incredibly strong too. Masters chokes Andy out or whatever. I hope Chris Masters has rubber-soled shoes and some anti-Crescent Beam armor. Wait, no I don’t.
I’m going to start secretly enjoying Chris Masters if all of his jobber victims are Starfire/MST3K/Sailor Moon references.
Commercials. My but those sheep-boys enjoy jibber-jabbing.
I VISITED STARFIRE ON TAMARAN AND WAS KNOWN AS “THE THE COACH” interviews A NEW TAG TEAM CALLED THE HEARTBREAKERS? I DON’T THINK SO. Coach tells HBK that two of the biggest egos ever have just joined forces. HBK kicks Coach out of the interview. Boo. Then he summons I NEVER USED TO DO A LEGDROP. YOU’RE IMAGINING THINGS. Wow, I’m a little shocked he made the trip. And for some bizarre reason they summon PUT THAT CIGARETTE OUT to do the interview. That’s Okerlund. And a nickname worthy of the glossary in it’s confusingness. Hogan claims to be a personal friend of Big Ben. HBK does stupid flexing poses and fails to rip off his shirt as the question “what you gonna do?” is posed.
ALL OF WHOREDOM come out for some reason. They use the Diva Search theme. Christy summons THE PAGE 3 SLUTS. They use the music Amy Weber used like once before quitting. I like how Americans have this inferiority complex about how British people are so much smarter than we are, but their most popular newspapers are basically light-porn that treats soap opera plotlines like real news. The assembled skanks introduce our tag team champions I GOT THE RED WHITE AND BLUE RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS and ME TOO, MINUS THE BLUE. Regal’s autobiography is coming out, I guess. Lawler gets us all excited by talking about juggling midget anecdotes and the time Regal passed out on a plane and woke up in prison. With a largely empty bladder. There is also a chapter called “Black hookers and crack.” Wow. The book is called “Walking a Golden Mile.” The golden path to the urinal. Regal thanks the fans for whatever, and everyone dances. Someone grabbed his butt. Tajiri forces Stacey to spin him. WE SMELL UNCOVERED WIMMENS invade. Hassan tells the Brits that they’re a bunch of racist followers of America. Ouch. They want a match with the champs, tonight. Tajiri, in his “born naughty” shirt, is just precious. Regal says “sunshine” so you KNOW it’s AWNNNN.
Commercials. Speaking of Regal, Rugal Bernstein returns to final boss duty in KOTF 2002. He’s fucking fast and has great range and he’s hard to hit and deals massive damage. However, he doesn’t hit you once, then juggle you with his gay-ass cape for the entire round like SOME bosses. Fucking Igniz. Rugal is way cooler than Akuma, by the way. Despite the gay puma or whatever he has in Capcom vs SNK 2. Geese is cooler than Bison, too. Oh yeah, I’m a rebel. Haha, Geese and Bison. Steel Zoo Cage Match.
We’re back, and Regal is shoulderblocking Daivari. He knocks Hassan into the ring and Northern Irish whips Daivari into him. Back body drop for Daivari, Hassan tossed outside, Daivari tossed outside, and Regal does some posing. Loud “REGAL” chant. He could fart and these people would pop. Daivari back in. Regal powers him into the face corner and tags in Tajiri. Double armdrag, then Tajiri kicks Daivari right in the chest as Regal kicks him in the back. Regal out, and Tajiri does a standing moonsault. It gets 2. Arm-wringing, but Daivari gets over to the evil corner and tags in Hassan. Hassan does boring shit until Tajiri tags in Regal. He throws some knees. Daivari tries a cheapshot from the apron, so Regal just smacks him. Hassan runs into an elbow, but Daivari finally manages to cheat effectively by grabbing Regal, jumping backwards off the apron, and thus hot-shotting Willie. Hassan chokes and shit. Modified Ninja Chokeout, but he releases for whatever reason. Tag to Daivari. Double-team beatdown. Modified Ninja Chokeout by Daivari. He even does restholds better than Hassan. Daivari with a snap-mare, and a cover for 2. Tag to Hassan, who kicks. Neckbreaker by Hassan. “Let’s Go Regal” chant. Regal starts punching back, but Hassan retains control. Tag to Daivari, who…does a neckbreaker. Didn’t you see Hassan just do a neckbreaker? Tag to Hassan. They do a run-aroundy spot and collide. Daivari tagged in, trying to cut off the tag, but Regal kicks him off and tags in Tajiri. Flying kick for Daivari. He ducks a clothesline from Hassan and kicks his head off. Kicks aplenty, and there’s the Chynaese Elbow for Daivari. More kicks. Tajiri hits the ropes, but Daivari (now on the outside) cheap-shots him. Tajiri wanders right into the Holy Shiite. Regal stalks Daivari on the outside, but Hassan attacks him from behind. Daivari goes up top…Magic Carpetless legdrop…gets 3? Why do they bother having tag team champions? Daivari mocks the Hogan “I can’t hear this section of the crowd” pose. Regal comes back in and uses SOUTHPAW POWER, but the Arabs overpower him. Beatdown on Regal. Camel Clutch by Hassan, Daivari turns it into a Gangland Camel Clutch with stomping. Their music plays again because they just rewon the match. Thanks for being too lazy to make the save, HBK and Hogan!
Commercials. This Arby’s quiz show ad makes the common advertising mistake of trying to sell the product by showing us how much retards love it.
SOMEONE SAY “I ONE THE GARBAGE CAN” ALREADY. Trish and Vis continue their date. Trish asks Viscera what viscera means. Dude, he should totally ask her what Trish means. Instead, he says “inner organs” and makes cock jokes. Trish offers to knock Christy Hemme unconscious so Viscera can rape her. She really, really does. Vis wants to dance. He was one of the Men on a Mission, you know. He accidentally knocks out a male waiter. Trish fails to rape them. The ending is Vis saying “check please,” which would be sort of awful if he didn’t have crazy undead eyes while delivering the wacky punchline.
I HAD SEX WITH LITA is facing WOW, I THOUGHT I WAS THE LOOSEST SCOUT (w/I HATE YOU SO MUCH, MINA.) I enjoy Edge’s insane entryway hopping frenzy with the briefcase. Lawler: “Val Venis!” Even the Brits don’t pop for this clown. Edge attacks Val on the apron and kicks him a lot. Edge legdrops Val across the bottom rope. The fans chant unintelligibly. Possibly “We Want Matt.” Edge catapults Val into the middle rope. Ninja Chokeout. Driving in the knee. Val powers out after a million years, and punches. Edge charges into a hot-shot. Clothesline by Edge. Chop. The crowd WOOs. Back body drop by Val. Val chops some more. Edge tries to sneak in an Edge-o-Matic, but Val back-elbows out. Val with…some move. The Venus Love and Beauty Shock, let’s say. Val dances like a retard. Looking for The Moneyshot, but Edge gets the knees up. The Monkeyshot. The Monkeyinthebankshot. Edge looking for the Spear, but Val knees him. Val looking for a clothesline or something, but Edge ducks it and this time the Spear works. Edge wins. Minako is supposed to speak English, and I finally heard her speak some in the Jap version today. Other than in attack names, I mean. She says “Why?” with like four syllables worth of “e” at the end. Edge decides to give Val the Edge-u-Whatever. JR calls it the Impaler. Edge with that leglock, the Edge-u-SomethingotherthanwhathisDDTiscalled. Now he does a sloppy Crippler Crossface. THE RABID CLOSET MINAKO FAN comes out to attack. German suplex party! Don’t mention the war.
THERE’S A FUNKY NEW SMELL, COMING TO TOWNE pretends he has a publicist. He is interrupted by LORD ADMIRAL CHARISMA, I HOPE I DON’T HAVE A RELAPSE OF THE BUBONIC PLAGUE and LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, JACK THE RIPPER! Triple H decides The Coach will be The Referee tonight. Christian: “Don’t ever point at me.” Coach wants to call Bischoff for permission. Then he has to call his Mommy. Triple H forces Coach to go along with him because Triple H is a jerk. No call to Bischoff, so I’m afraid I don’t know if he’s a face or heel this week. JR: “That’s not fair at all!” It’s a damn set-up. King.
Commercials. Yawn.
THE DRAMATIC CLIMAX OF THE DATE. Viscera drinks Listerine. Vis says “Are you ready?” and both Supes and I start humming the DX theme. Now Trish slaps Vis, which magically kills the background music. Trish says, essentially, “no dead Kane, no sexing for you.” Vis wants an advance. Trish: “You want an advance?” Vis: “I want an advance.” Trish shows Vis her breasts. Vis: “Kane, you’re a dead man.” Indeed he is. I think. He’s, um, partially…
THE COACH HAS HIS OWN DOUBLE-DECKER BUS LINE, KIIIID! gets a ton of his theme music played as he heads to the ring. Awesome. I LOVE YOU CHRISTIAN BUT THIS IS LIKE YOUR FIFTH NICKNAME is out next. I wasn’t gonna top “The King of Peepmania” tonight. Supes insists Christian is consciously mocking AJ Styles with the hoodie, but I have my doubts. YOU MAKE THE CALL! JR: “This match, will continue…will start!”
Commercials. More yawning.
Our Stanley Something of the Week is Batista beating up Trips.
I LOVE YOU RIC BUT THIS IS LIKE YOUR FOURTH NICKNAME comes out with I DON’T LOVE YOU TRIPLE H. As little as we like Tomko, he’d be even worse if every time Christian wrestled, Tomko got a separate entrance that was this frickin’ long. Finally, we get DAVEY (wo/GOLIATH) and his entrance. Who was it that used to bitch about the World Entrance Federation? I guess it’s World Entrance Entertainment now. Hey, that comes out as WEE! JR: “How big! How thick!” Batista jaws at Trips, so Christian attacks. JR: “From behind! The…ga…the Game! The gameplan!” JR says Coach isn’t a competent referee. Lawler: “He can count to 3!” Batista ignores Christian’s offense and tosses him. JR says Triple H is “Christian’s problem-solver, wink-wink!” And he complains time-keeper Ric Flair probably isn’t even wearing a watch. He’s wearing a sundial. Sundialin’, and profilin’. I should have called him Father Time, come to think of it. Triple H distracts Batista, allowing Christian to go up top for THE STUPID. Christian just kinda jumps to right in front of Batista, who goozles him. Christian tossed into the corner. Christian sent into another corner. Smiling. Sidewalk slam, called correctly by JR. He can wrestle, and call sidewalk slams! Christian goes to the eye, but then he punches and shit and gets no-sold. Short-clothesline by Batista. Batista sends Christian to the ropes, Papa Shangoes, and gets kicked in the face. Batista ignores this and gets a strolling powerslam. He covers, but Coach’s shoelace is untied. Batista shoves Coach around, but Coach doesn’t DQ him. Triple H sneaks in and gives Batista a nutshot. Coach pretends he didn’t see it. JR: “What the Hell was that about!” Supes, as JR: “I’m confused! I thought Triple H and Batista were friends!” He was so excited about cheating when it wasn’t happening that he almost exploded when it actually did. JR, segueing to a break: “Will he survive!” No. It’s like Doom³.
Commercials. I hope Batista doesn’t die during the break!
Christian is doing some crazy rope-choke where he’s standing on Batista. Christian covers for 2. We get a replay of Triple H sending Batista into the steps. Modified Ninja Chokeout. Christian, the break just ended. Batista powers out. JR, on Coach: “He’s an incompetent zebra, and you know it as well as I do!” He’s an incompetent sheep boy. That’s some combination, kiiiid! Christian set up on the top turnbuckle, kicks Batista away, and gets a missile dropkick for 2. Christian with some rope-choking, and then Coach chats with Trips while Ric chokes Batista with his coat. See, the coat is tied into everything. More stuff happens. Batista fights back a bit, but Trips trips (hahaha) Batista. Christian trying to get a neckbreaker, Batista resists, so Christian throws a few forearms and finishes the neckbreaker. Another variation on the Ninja Chokeout, this one involving real choking. Christian punches, but Batista is Daving-Up. Christian hits the ropes, but gets alley-ooped. Batista punches. Christian tries for a crossbody block for some ungodly reason, and gets powerslammed. Christian sent to the corner for shoulderblocks. Clothesline by Dave. Ric distracts Dave. Christian tries the Unprettier, but come on. Countered into an Electric Chair drop. Coach counts 1, 2, then suddenly has an intense pain in his arm. Batista kills Coach. He kills Ric. Spinebuster for Christian. Trips on the apron, and he’s knocked off. Batista does some Warrior rope-shaking, the thumbs-down thing, and a Demonbomb. On Christian. Irony. He lifts Coach’s hand and drops it three times. Yeah, right. THE BELL RINGS? What, is he controlling Ric Flair telepathically? Trips tries to attack with a chair, but Batista gets it away from him. Looking for a chairshot, but Trips kicks him low. Pedigree…actually hits? Crap. And Batista refuses to rise up like he do, so our last image is Triple H posing and growling and shit. Well, it is the last RAW before Backlash, so I guess this ending is a good sign.
Final Thoughts: Triple H looks so goofy when he goes pose-crazy. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got video games/Tomo eps that require my attention.
