Ok, who’s ready for more Krotons?
The Krotons, Episode 3
Terrence Dicks wrote the Target Books version. Robert Holmes probably would have, but he was busy being dead.
IT’S BEEN A REAL HONOR TO BE ON RAW WITH YOU, KANE is still dying at the hands of EVIL CHUNKS OF STALE BREAD YOU GET IN SALADS AT NICE RESTAURANTS. I had to make a crouton joke somewhere, so I got it out of the way as a nickname. Kroton: “IT’S MIND IS PRIMITIVE!” Other Kroton: “THE POWER WILL KILL IT!” They cut off the machine. Some Kroton or other: “IT IS STILL OF VALUE. IT CAN GIVE INFORMATION ABOUT THE OTHER CREATURES.”
Meanwhile, THE OTHER CREATURES, namely the Doctor and Zoe, are running around the wasteland. Zoe: “But this isn’t the way to the city!” Doctor: “No, it’s the way to the TARDIS.” Zoe: “The TARDIS!? But we can’t leave Jamie behind!” Doctor: “Well don’t worry about him, he’s perfectly safe isn’t he? Come on!”
We cut back to Jamie being not perfectly safe at all. He wakes up rubbing his head. Kroton: “WHERE ARE YOU FROM?” Jamie: “Oh, it’s you. I thought I’d dreamt you up.” Haha. Kroton: “WHERE ARE YOU FROM?” Jamie: “Uh…Earth?” Kroton: “YOU ARE OF THE SAME RACE AS THESE BIPEDS?” The Krotons don’t look to have feet, I guess. Anyway, they’ve got you know who on the scanner. Jamie: “Zoe and the Doctor! Where are they?” Kroton: “YOU ARE SPACE TRAVELLERS?” Jamie: “Got out! Good old Doctor!” Kroton: “ANSWER!” Jamie: “Ow! You’re breakin’ my arm!” Hahahaha. You’re breakin’ my, NOSE! Other Kroton: “DO NOT DAMAGE THE CREATURE!” Hahaha, he’s Chet, the sensitive Kroton. First Kroton: “YOU AND THESE OTHER CREATURES ARE SPACE TRAVELLERS?” Jamie: “Yes!” The Krotons spot the TARDIS on their scanner. Jamie admits it’s a time-space vehicle. All three watch Zoe and the Doctor get in the TARDIS. Jamie is crestfallen, wondering if they’ve abandoned him.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TOUCH MY MONKEY, the Minister of Science, is doing science stuff when TOOTLING MUSIC enters. Elix wants to talk to Dieter about “a matter of war” OMG HE REALLY IS THE WAR LORD LOOK OUT DOCTOR *cliffhanger sound effect.* Wow, Ator is there too. Or THONG, THE FISH IS READY. He and Elix have teamed up. Ator goes crazy and wants to attax Beta with his pickaxe when Beta opposes war with the Krotons, but Elix checks him with a smile, and pleasantly says “not yet.” He tries to talk the scientist into fighting the Krotons. Dieter wants to overthrow them, but knows the Gonds are screwed: they only know what the Krotons let them know and the Krotons wouldn’t have taught them anything they could use against the Krotons. Dieter mentions the Doctor, so Elix tells him that the Doctor and Zoe went into the machine, and must be presumed dead. This brings Dieter around, and he asks for time to formulate some plan. Dieter: “There are certain things the Krotons forbid us to study, fluids which eat away metal and flesh. In time, I can develop some way of attacking them!” Elix: “In time? It’s always in time, isn’t it? Just give us a little more time, just be a little more patient! Always time, a little more time!” Dieter: “We’ve been slaves for a thousand years, do you think you can free us in a day?” Elix: “Yes!” You say you wanna revolutioooon, welllll you know, I don’t wanna change the world. Anyway, Elix claims to have deposed the Chief and taken over.
Back to hot Kroton action. The Krotons decide one of them must go out to the TARDIS and fetch the Doctor and Zoe, because their minds are needed. One of them leaves. Jamie and the other Kroton sort of sit there. Eventually, they decide to have a chat. Kroton: “WHAT IS THE OPERATING PRINCIPLE OF YOUR CRAFT?” Jamie: “You mean how does it work? Well, only the Doctor knows that.” Kroton: “WHAT IS ITS TRANSFERENCE INTERVAL?” Jamie: “Transference interval? Ah, well…what’s that?” Kroton: “YOU HAVE NO VALUE.” Haha, Jamie got dissed, and he actually looks like his feelings are really hurt too.
The other Kroton is ambling around the wasteland with a stupid-looking Kroton gun.
Ator is swabbing at Salutatorian’s forehead. The Chief stops by. He tells Ator that the Doctor and Zoe are gone. Ator seems surprised. Wasn’t he there when Elix told Dieter that like thirty seconds ago? Anyway, they try to hammer home the subplot’s thematic point about revolution heedless of thought and planning (whatever that point is) with some more argument.
Back to the lovely home of the Krotons, where their guest Jamie tries to move about and is warned to stop. Jamie: “What are you gonna do with me?” Kroton: “YOU HAVE NO VALUE.” Jamie: “Well what do you mean?” Kroton: “YOU WILL BE DISPERSED.”
Back to the Chief and his son. Ator tells Cowboy Bob Gondor Junior that Elix announced to everyone that the Krotons have been tricking and enslaving the Gonds, and then got them to vote him the new leader. The Chief says leadership has always been hereditary with the Gonds (so shouldn’t his son Ator be not cool with all this power-grabbing?) but Ator still supports Elix. Chief: “Fool! They will want revenge!” Ator: “Exactly. And that’s what Eelek has promised them.” Chief: “Can’t you understand? Eelek doesn’t care what happens to our people!” Ator: “Eelek is a patriot!” Chief: “It is not patriotism to lead people into a war they cannot win!” It’s easy to be relevant fifty years later if you keep your themes pretty straightforward. The Chief suggests finding a less direct way to attack.
Jamie asks the Kroton some questions so we can finally know what the Hell they’re doing. For some reason, the Kroton answers. The hatches and stuff lead into “The Dynatrope,” the Kroton’s crashed ship. Jamie doesn’t get why they murder Gonds, or why they want the Doctor and Zoe. Kroton: “THE DYNATROPE NEEDS HIGH-BRAINS FOR TRANSFER POWER.” Get RVD. “THE GONDS HAVE NO HIGH-BRAINS.” Jamie: “Aye, and that makes it alright to kill them, does it?” Kroton: “THAT IS PROCEDURE.” Jamie begins looking around for some way to escape.
More fun with Dieter and Elix! Dieter, on Elix taking over as leader: “So at last you’ve achieved your ambition, eh?” Elix, smiling that fantastic creepy smile: “Yes. And I have the support of the whole council.” Dieter: “It must be quite a change for you to feel popular.” Meow. Elix: “And there is a limit to what I will take from you.” Dieter: “I’m wondering just how popular you will be when hundreds of our people have been killed! Do you want a reputation of a massacre we suffered when the Krotons first came here?” Elix: “Today we have slings and fireballs! Weapons that will destroy the strongest building to rubble!” Dieter: “Have you ever looked at the wasteland? Nothing grows there even to this day, it smells of death! Compared with their kind of weapons, I tell you we still only have clubs and stones!” And…we cut away, because really, how hard can you argue for resisting chemical weapon-using metal monsters with slings?
Meanwhile, the philosophical arguments continue as Jamie asks the Kroton, “I mean, how would you like to die without knowing the reason, eh?” The Kroton explains that Krotons do not die, “WE FUNCTION PERMANENTLY UNLESS WE EXHAUST.” Ah, that clever little Scottish munchkin is talking to the Kroton to distract it as he tries to get a gun from the rack that the absent Kroton armed himself from. Jamie: “How do ya mean by exhaust?” Kroton: “THE EXHAUST PROCEDURE IS MERELY A REVERSION TO BASIC MOLECULES, BUT THE MATTER CAN BE REANIMATED.” Jamie: “What about me though, I mean I can’t be reanimated, why kill me?” The Kroton rattles off some technical jargon. Jamie: “I mean, what good will it do you?” Kroton: “ALL WASTE MATTER MUST BE DISPERSED. THAT IS PROCEDURE.”
The other Kroton has a bumbly POV shot in the wasteland again. This segues to the Doctor and Zoe emerging from the TARDIS with the sample they took from the Kroton’s vat of slurry…stuff. Did I forget to mention that they took a sample? Sorry. The Doctor comments on the sulfur smell, and Zoe remembers Jamie’s “bad eggs” comment from episode one. Zoe describes hydrogen telluride as “the worst smell in the world,” and for some reason she has a big smile on her face as she describes the stinkiness. Anyway, from the sample in the TARDIS, the Doctor deduces that the Krotons and Dynatrope are comprised of Telluride (an actual real element, you can look it up on the chart and everything) and starts poking about to get some sulfur.
Meanwhile, the Kroton monitor has the Doctor and Zoe in its sights, and Jamie tries to will them back into the safety of the TARDIS by whispering to himself.
The Doctor asks Zoe what she knows about Tellurium, obviously (and very kindly, I must say) trying to prod the girl along so she deduces for herself whatever he has planned for the Krotons. She rattles off a few facts like its atomic number and all, but then trails off as she notices the Kroton behind them. Doctor: “Oh my giddy aunt.” Kroton: “YOU WILL RETURN TO THE DYNATROPE!” Doctor: “Oh, oh yes, uh, yes of course, if you put it that way, uh, I wonder perhaps if…” Kroton: “RETURN!” Doctor: “Oh yes, yes!”
Jamie has finally secured a gun. Jamie: “Now we’ll see if you die or not!” The Kroton simply yells “STOP” repeatedly while no-selling the misty blast. It appears to simply back Jamie into a wall and crush him with its Styrofoam bulk.
But Jamie’s attack still helped, as the Kroton that had cornered the Doctor and Zoe begins flailing around aimlessly shouting “DIRECTION POINT REQUIRED.” Turns out all the technical jargon the Krotons had been shouting that I’d been ignoring was the Kroton in the ship guiding the one on the surface, because they cannot see in the outside light. The Doctor and Zoe escape, verbalize the conclusions I just gave you, and watch with concern as the Kroton gets back its bearings (with the aid of the Kroton in the Dynatrope) and turns its blaster on the TARDIS. It shoots, we get mist, and the TARDIS is gone!
Jamie wakes up on the floor. He notices the Kroton turning around and plays dead.
Meanwhile, the TARDIS rematerializes when the Kroton is gone. The Doctor explains to the astonished Zoe that the TARDIS dematerializes when it’s attacked (so long as he remembers to set the controls right.)
Elix and Science Guy argue some more. The Chief…oh, I forgot to give him a new nickname, didn’t I? He’s MCCLOUD, YOU’VE DESTROYED THREE VANS. GOOD JOB. He tries to talk Elix and the Skippers out of launching their attack, but no go. The Chief (who was with the Doctor when they investigated that hole under the Dynatrope in episode two) tells the Science Dude that there are three support pillars to the ship underground. Dunh dunh dunhhhhh.
Jamie sneaks away as the Krotons (who believe he has already been “dispersed”) discuss their energy situation. That Kroton got back from the TARDIS to the Dynatrope a Hell of a lot faster than he got to the TARDIS from the Dynatrope. Without the High-Brains, we learn, the Dynatrope will exhaust in three hours.
Salutatorian is finally back on her feet. She technically should get a new nickname, but she had like three lines in the first two episodes so I’d say her nickname from last time hasn’t been used up yet. She and Ator are thrilled to see the Doctor and Zoe return to Gondor. Doctor: “Oh, I’m glad to see you’re going on holiday.” Because they have bags packed. Turns out the city is being evacuated while the Gonds, apparently unified now, prepare to attack the structural supports of the Dynatrope. The Doctor flips out, believing that plan will horribly backfire, and asks to be taken to Dieter.
We get some shots of the Chief overseeing as chains are wrapped around the legs of the Dynatrope. Then we go to Dieter’s lab, where he receives the Doctor. The Doctor gives him some sulfur and some written instructions on how he wants it treated. Dieter: “But the Krotons forbid us to study chemistry!” Doctor: “Yes, Beta, did it ever occur to you to wonder why?” It is Zoe who notices that Jamie isn’t around and asks after him. She and the Doctor learn he went into the Dynatrope to save them and now try to rush to his rescue. Salutatorian, Ator, and Dieter have a charming little scene that adds nothing to the story and can safely be skipped.
Meanwhile, the Krotons’ oddly-shaped heads are now spinning around rapidly as they yell in their goofy (but cool) voices about how the Dynatrope’s balance has been thrown off, presumably by the efforts of the Gonds to take out its structural supports.
Speaking of the Gonds, whoops, little continuity hiccup there as Dieter is with the Gonds attacking the Dynatrope even though we just left him having a very stationary discussion with Salutatorian and Ator in his lab. Now the Doctor and Zoe arrive, which kills any hope that Dieter was supposed to have walked here in unseen action since the Doctor and Zoe dashed here before he could have left. The Doctor screams at the Gonds to stop fucking with the Dynatrope’s legs before they bring the whole roof in. And wah-wah-wah-waaaaah, the roof begins to cave in, and some slabs of balsa wood or possibly Styrofoam land on the Doctor. That’ll take us to the credits.
The Krotons, Episode Four
We’re back, and Zoe treats us to a good-old-fashioned Doctor Who female companion scream as the Doctor is crushed by fake rocks. We cut to Ator and Salutatorian arriving somewhere…ah, Ator arrives, confers with Zoe, and sets off to rescue the Doctor. The Chief and Salutatorian chat. Ah again, she and Ator came with some acid for the Doctor from Dieter. Meanwhile, Ator finds the Doctor, who seems to have completely no-sold being crushed by rocks, and then a bunch of crap falls on Ator and the Doctor and Zoe have to try and dig him out.
Jamie escapes the Dynatrope as the Krotons continue shouting and spinning their heads around. After some more technical jargon, their heads slow and stop and they declare balance restored. “THE GONDS HAVE ATTACKED THE DYNATROPE!” “THE TWO HIGH-BRAINS ARE THERE!” “BRING THEM HERE!” As goofy as they look and considering that they’re one-shot villains who never return, the Krotons actually sound a Hell of a lot more intimidating than the high-pitched squealing Daleks.
Zoe is making a splint for Ator (she’s strangely useful for a woman in a late 60’s sci-fi piece) as the Doctor worries about the Krotons. Doctor: “Haven’t you finished yet Zoe?” Zoe: “No I haven’t.” She grabs his suspenders. Zoe: “Can I have your braces?” The Doctor, horrified: “NO!” Haha. He gives her a handkerchief instead. The Doctor notes fluid leaking from the Dynatrope, and thinks maybe the ship took enough damage to give them an opening. And now, uh, another little continuity hiccup as the Doctor and Zoe ask about Jamie, and are stunned to find out he went into the Dynatrope searching for them (didn’t this just happen in Episode 3?) Zoe: “But Doctor, Jamie wouldn’t be any use to them. His mind is completely untrained.” Haha, diss. Poor Jamie is always getting slammed for being stupid. The Doctor agrees and worries that if Jamie wasn’t mentally strong enough to survive whatever energizing procedure he and Zoe went through, Jamie could already be dead. They race off, and forget to take the vial of acid that was made for them.
Meanwhile, Jamie reaches the door of the Dynatrope, but the circuit is broken. He observes the mica the Doctor used to escape thoughtfully.
Elix and the Skippers stride about purposefully. They blame the Chief for the failure of the attack on the legs of the Dynatrope. Elix wants the Chief arrested, but just then the Dynatrope opens and a Kroton emerges. Kroton: “STOP!” Elix: “What do you want?” Kroton: “WHERE ARE THE HIGH-BRAINS?” Elix: “I don’t understand.” Kroton: “THE TWO ALIEN CREATURES ARE NEEDED! WHERE ARE THEY?” Chief: “He means the Doctor and Zoe. What do you want with them?” Kroton: “UNIMPORTANT. PRODUCE THEM.” Elix: “They’re not here.” Kroton: “WHERE ARE THEY?” Elix: “You say you need them. Why are they so important to you? You’ve never left your machine before.” Kroton: “DO NOT ARGUE!” It shoots that death steam at an Ensign Redshirt. Chief (ACTING:) “Why did you do that!? He would do you no harm!” Kroton: “PRODUCE THE HIGH-BRAINS IN FIFTEEN MINUTES!” You need some of the real stuff to get high-brained that fast, ahchacha. Elix: “If we give you the strangers, will you leave us in peace?” Kroton: “THE HIGH-BRAINS WILL ENABLE US TO OPERATE THE DRIVE MECHANISM OF THE DYNATROPE.” Elix: “You mean you will go? You will leave our world?” Kroton: “YES. BUT IF THE TWO HIGH-BRAINS ARE NOT BROUGHT TO THE DYNATROPE, YOU WILL ALL BE DISPERSED! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” Elix: “Very well! If you leave us, you shall have them!”
Meanwhile, Jamie figures out how to open the door, but only a crack.
The Chief doesn’t want to give up the Doctor and Zoe. “But the Doctor and Zoe are our friends! They’ve risked their lives for us!” Elix: “I put the interests of our own people first!” HEELIX.
The Doctor and Zoe find Jamie trying to creep through the crack in the door. They pull him though, and the Doctor sneaks in a comment that he’s “getting fat.” They barely escape before the death steam shoots off. Jamie: “What’s been happening? I felt that machine was gonna shake itself ta pieces!” Doctor: “There’s no time to explain. How are you feeling, Jamie?” Jamie: “Well, I…” Doctor: “Good.” Jamie: “Eh?” Doctor: “There’s something I want you to do for me.” Jamie: “Ah, not again!” Doctor: “Now Beta is making some special sulfuric acid for us. I want you to tell him to make it in bulk.” Jamie: “Yes, but…” Doctor: “As much as he can. There’s no time to argue now hurry! We’ll see you back at the learning hall!” He and Zoe race off, leaving poor Jamie in the dark again.
Heelix and his men go off to capture the Doctor for the Krotons. The Chief and Salutatorian agree that they owe them a chance to escape and try to figure out a way to warn our heroes.
Meanwhile, complete goofiness as Jamie and Dieter are in the lab, with kerchiefs pulled over their faces as a few clay pots bubbles ominously. Jamie: “How long will it be?” Dieter: “I don’t know!” A small explosion rocks one pot. Jamie: “It’s not gonna explode, is it?” Dieter: “I don’t know.” Jamie: “What?” Dieter, slowly: “I don’t know!” Jamie: “I thought you were supposed to be a scientist!” Dieter: “Well I’ve never worked with acid before. OOF!” The oof was after he touched some acid and burned himself. He dabbles his finger in some other solution as Jamie recoils in horror. Dieter: “The Krotons forbid it. Shall we put a bit more in?” Jamie: “Well why ask me?” Dieter, shrugging: “Let’s see what happens! We can only blow ourselves up.” He dumps in another pot’s worth of stuff. Jamie backs away, and a beaker right next to him flares up.
The Chief tries to create a distraction so Salutatorian can slip through to the Doctor with the acid, but she is caught and drops the vial. The Chief recovers it, and looks determined.
The Krotons have only 27 minutes worth of reserve power left. A Kroton: “THEN WE WILL EXHAUST!” The other, slowly: “OUR FUNCTION…WILL END.” A thoughtful moment for any Kroton.
The Doctor and Zoe wish aloud that they could get back into the machine as Heelix sneaks up on them. Heelix: “You can Doctor. We’ll help you into it.” Evil, silky smile. Doctor: “Oh that’s very good of you. If…what’s this?!” Armed guards grab them and lead them away.
The Krotons note that the High-Brains have been captured. I think a little note of hope just snuck into their booming robot voices.
The Doctor and Zoe are forced into the ship as the Doctor reaches desperately towards Salutatorian. But she doesn’t have the vial.
The Krotons consider dispersing the Gonds, but decide they can’t spare the power.
Salutatorian tells the Chief that the Doctor and Zoe are in the Dynatrope, but need the acid. The Chief sprints past the guards and rolls under the closing hatch, Indiana Jones style.
The Doctor and Zoe enter the Dynatrope. Doctor: “I believe you wished to speak with us?” The Chief appears and tosses the Doctor the vial, and is then dispersed as an intruder. The Doctor covers Zoe’s eyes because girls in the 60’s shouldn’t see nasty things like that. The Krotons begin to prepare for launch. Krotons: “THE DYNATROPE WILL EXHAUST IN TWELVE MINUTES!” Zoe: “Well that’s your problem!” Spunky. Doctor: “No no, Zoe, if this machine does run down, there’ll be the most colossal release of energy, enough to destroy us, the Krotons, and most of the planet.” The Doctor asks the Krotons what they want, and they reexplain the whole “mental energy powers our ship” thing. Kroton: “FOUR HIGH-BRAINS ARE NEEDED IN RELAY. THERE ARE ONLY TWO OF US.” Zoe: “Then how did you get here?” Kroton: “NO MORE QUESTIONS!” Doctor: “If you want us to…(he brandishes the acid, then collects himself)…if you want us to cooperate, you must expect questions!” Kroton: “UNLESS YOU DO AS WE ORDER YOU WILL BE DISPERSED!” Doctor, smugly: “Very well. But that won’t do you any good, will it?” Kroton: “WE ARE WASTING TIIIIIIIME!” Haha, Emo-Kroton. The same Kroton, comparatively softly: “THE DYNATROPE WAS PART OF A BATTLE FLEET. TWO OF OUR CREW WERE EXHAUSTED BY ENEMY FIRE.” Zoe: “You mean they were killed?” Kroton: “CEASED TO FUNCTION. WE CARRIED OUT THE EMERGENCY PROCEDURE AND LANDED ON THE NEAREST PLANET. TO CONSERVE POWER, WE SENT THE DYNATROPE IN PERPETUAL STABILITY.” The Doctor begins explaining again how they set the teaching machines to find smart Gonds to drain of energy, but it’s a delaying tactic as he’s…whacking Zoe on the bum with his vial. She takes it from him, behind her back and away from the…non-existant eyes of the Krotons. They explain a bit more about getting mental energy from the Gonds. Zoe: “Well you didn’t have to kill them to do that!” Kroton: “GOND SAMPLES WERE BROUGHT IN FOR TESTING AT INTERVALS. THE DYNATROPE ABSORBED THEIR MENTAL POWER INTO IT’S CIRCUITS. THE WASTE MATTER WAS REJECTED…” Other Kroton: “…AND DISPERSED!” Xamot and Tomax, ladies and gentlemen.
Outside the ship, Jamie learns that Heelix handed over Zoe and the Doctor to the Krotons. He tries to attax, but Deiter stops him to save his life. The heels start to leave to escape the explosion of the ship taking off, but the faces want to stay and try to help the Doctor and Zoe. Heelix: “Let them stay, and let them die.” Geez, what a dickweed.
The Krotons command the Doctor and Zoe to put on their headsets and take their positions. The Doctor: “Just a moment. If we’re going to help you transfer the Dynatrope back to your own planet, what’s going to happen to us?” Kroton: “YOU WILL SUFFER NO HARM.” Doctor: “How can we be sure of that? We’d die without oxygen you see. Just as you would die if anyone was to upset the stuff you’re drawing from that tank.” At this point, the Doctor is gesturing broadly and trying to get Zoe’s attention. Kroton: “TAKE UP YOUR POSITIONS!” Doctor: “I was merely trying to explain that if anyone was to contaminate what was in that tank (it’s all that he can do not to say “like Zoe, for example”) you’d know what it was like to breathe poison air!” Kroton: “SIX MINUTES!” Zoe finally pours the acid into the tank behind her back, and then just drops the vial in too to be safe. Kroton: “YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. PUT ON THE HEADSET.” Doctor: “Oh well, I suppose we’d better just take your word for it then.” The Krotons talk some more technobabble, and it’s obvious that time is almost out. Doctor: “Oh. Now then, *cough*…where do you want us to stand?” Hahaha. Kroton: “UNIMPORTANT!” Doctor: “Oh, well, I’ll stand over here then.” Zoe: “Oh, oh Doctor! I wanted to stand there!” Maybe it’s just me, but I love the idea of using contrived idiocy to defeat horrible space monsters. Doctor: “Oh my dear! Oh well, you stand there, and I’ll stand here! Better still, a much better idea, I’ll stand there, and you stand…” Kroton: “PUT ON THE HEADSETS OR YOU WILL BE DISPERSED!!!” Doctor: “All right, all right! How do, how do you wear this thing?” He intentionally puts it on so one earpiece is on his forehead and the other is on the back of his head. It’s quite an effective performance actually; you can almost feel the big goofy cardboard boxes with the adorable flailing arms getting angry. Zoe whispers that the acid isn’t working fast enough and the Doctor tells her to stall some more. He drops his headpiece. Doctor: “Oh, butterfingers!” Zoe: “Doctor, you are clumsy.” Kroton: “ENOUGH OF THIS! PUT ON THE HEADSET!” Doctor: “Well it’s your fault, you’re making me nervous!” The Krotons finally start to stumble around making weird dying sounds. They collapse, and their stupid carousal heads begin to melt. Now the walls of the whole place begin to melt as the Doctor and Zoe flee out the open door.
Jamie and the face Gonds are pouring vats of acid on the Dynatrope as the Doctor and Zoe arrive. The whole Dynatrope begins to melt, and conveniently enough, the Dynatrope being dissolved in acid will prevent that “energy release” the Doctor was worried would destroy the planet. Zoe: “How did you know the machine would dissolve?” Doctor: “Hmm? Well, the machine was 80% tellurium, Zoe, and tellurium is soluble in sulfuric acid.” Zoe “The Smart-Ass” Herriot: “But the machine wasn’t pure tellurium!” Doctor: “No, well, the acid wasn’t pure sulfuric acid, but it worked, didn’t it? Come along, let’s get away, I don’t like goodbyes.” The Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe sneak off as the Gonds watch the Dynatrope melts harmlessly away. Salutatorian: “It’s finished now, isn’t it!” Ator: “Yes, it is finished. The end of the Krotons. We are FREE at last!” Deiter: “We still have Eelek to deal with.” Ator: “That will be my pleasure. I shall take over from my father as leader of the Gonds whatever Eelek thinks!” Deiter: “And we can develop our own science! The Doctor can help …Doctor?” Ator: “They’ve gone.” Deiter: “But I wanted to ask his advice! There’s so much to be done!” Ator: “We have to find our own answers now, Beta.” Aw, I love a happy ending.
Our closing shot is the TARDIS disappearing, off to untold adventures. Well, off to two more adventures before the War Games and the tragic end of this trio and the start of the Jon Pertwee/UNIT Era.
Final Thoughts: It really is sad when this particular trio bows out because I just love them. The Second Doctor was sort of a prototype for the Fourth Doctor, the one everyone knows. Bumbling through the universe, solving any and all problems with an amiable smile and some slapstick goofiness. Jamie is also great, perpetually confused but always ready to mock the Doctor if he senses the old dear has made a mistake. Zoe, as the stuck-up know-it-all, makes a great target for either of them to tease, and she’s always ready to remind Jamie that Jamie is an idiot. You’d think they all hate each other, but the fact that they really like each other makes it work. Anyway, I’d like to make one last shout-out to my boyz the Krotons. While the costumes are pathetic, and perfectly in-synch with shitty models and sets of this episode, everything else about them is terrific. The voices really are pretty scary (if you’re a little kid) and there are a lot of little touches by the author to make them seem alien. They’re blind without computers, they “exhaust” instead of dying, they “disperse” instead of killing, and they insist on calling Zoe and the Doctor “High-Brains.” There’s about thirty Star Trek species (and indeed, Doctor Who species) that didn’t do half as much to seem really alien instead of just seeming like guys in funny suits with plastic ears.
