Star Trek: All Good Blings... belong to Dre. Folks, you can call me 'Dirty', and then lift up your skirt. *clap-clap*. Ugh. No more Gangsta Rap before bedtime.

Taboo Last Tuesday: Eric Bischoff used his awesome karate on Eugene. Sign: "BRING BACK LA PARKA." Are they playing the whole match? What the hell. I'm not recapping this. Though I do mark for the Airplane Spin. Eugene won via the Legdrop. Retardomania. Coachman came out and tried to use heel swervery, but Vince McMahon came out to yell and swagger a lot. No one gets nicknames if they make me recap a PPV that already happened. Eric is shaved, Coachman also has to wear the dress for some reason. Don't Cross Dress The Boss. Vince ordering Coach to strip is almost as bad as Undertaker ordering McMahon to strip his stanky drawers. No Pants In Hell. Vince is SHOCKED that Eric is actually grey-haired. Yeah. I had forgotten for a second there that WCW supposedly never happened. Wait, what's 'WCW'? Stop making up acronyms.

Opening Promo: Even I Forgot I Was Grey is out and gives himself the night off. "Tonight, 'the inmates are running the asylum.'" Isn't that a quote from Flair's Mental Hospital angle? From some other wrestling company that probably didn't exist?

Commercials. Way to advertise for your September 11 Wrestling show in OCTOBER, "W.A.R Wrestling."

Opening Promo: Evolution is a mystery, the guard is there to protect your salad from the Sneeze. Triple claims General Managership of RAW while Eric's away. Flair wants to face Orton. Butwait, Orton's here in a better suit. Orton will face Flair if he gets a title shot or something. Oh. If Orton beats Flair again, a title shot is his. That only took 20 minutes to pound into our heads.

JR and Lawler talk at us. Shelton Benjamin beat Jericho at Taboo Tuesday.

Commercials.

Mister Mister Benjamin Benjamin vs. Break Down Walls With Your Dick

Evk got a spam that said that once. Lockups!!! Whips, leapfrogs, armdrag on Jericho. Punching, more armlocks and stuff. They do a double clusterfuck spot on the outside of the ring, and while they're both dead, that's our cue for...

Commercials.

Sweet, we're back with no audio. Jericho has Shelton sretched on his knee, and is pushing on his chin. Audio finally comes back. Shelton breaks out and starts punching, Bulldog from Jericho. Covers, 2. Jericho goes up, Shelton intercepts, top rope hurricanrana! Wow. Sleepyspot. Clubbering. Shelton with a flying crossbody off the ropes. Boot to the face gets 2 for Mr. Benjamin. Lawler is dumbstruck that Shelton has athletic ability, because he's a racist asshole. Shelton on the apron, Jericho dropkicks him to the floor. Whip, clothesline, Jericho covers for a looong 2. Chops in the corner. Jericho going for a backslide of sorts, but Shelton counters with an inside cradle. They trade cradles for a while, Jericho tries the Walls of Jericho, Ben squirrels out, and goes up top for a sunset flip... it was weird. Jericho tries the walls again, but Shlelton turns it into a bodyscissors that they REFUSE to show a replay of for the win. Hooray. Jericho offers the handshake, and all's amiable, I guess. Jericho leaves, and here's Christian to attack Benjamin. Unprettier. Play his music.

Backstage, Eric and Coach sip champagne or something. Maybe Kanyon brought it.

Commercials.

Backstage: Ric Flair propositions Christy. When she refuses, HHH threatens her. The audio is so bad. Chris Jericho walks by, and he and Triple share incomprehensible words. Maven then walks up, whom Hunter calls "Tiger Woods." Haha, with racist humor like that, HHH is fit for Weekly Visitor. Then the rest of the locker room STEPS to Hunter.

Rundown of Taboo Tuesday. Edge left Benoit by himself to face La Resistance, and Benoit still won. Heh. Edge then speared Shawn Michaels.

Commercials. Foley went to a school in harlem and read his book to some kids. Cena's Poster: BOOKS ARE OFF THE HOOK, B!

Live, Via Satellite: Edge has bad audio and talks about his heel turn. I guess it's better than face Edge. I hope I don't incur JG's ire. Great, now here's ANOTHER interview. Here's Sexxib0i. Oh man, the awful guitar bridge. Where's Super Shane Spear? JR says he doesn't deserve to stand in the ring with Michaels. Haha. Shawn says Taboo Tuesday was awesome, Edge is a pussy, HBK is awesome, and he thanks the fans. Wait, did he retire? I seriously zoned out. Oh, he's just injured for a while.

Commercials.

Backstage: Todd Grisham interviews a bouncy Maven, when Batista hijacks the interview. Maven challenges him to a match. Dave refuses, so Maven slaps him.

AND WE'VE GOT AN IMPROMPTU MATCHUP FOLKS

Dave beats the hell out of Maven for a while. I'm really tired of this show. Maven's on the outside, Dave beats him up more. Stairs shot. Maven puts Batista's head into the barricade, but is still getting beat up. Sign: "BACON". TNM and I are taking that as a WV reference to Batista. Banabomb, but Maven reverses it into a sunset flip for the victory! Dave chases Maven up the ramp, until Benoit and Jericho come for the save. A staredown ensues.

Commercials.

Taboo Tuesday Recap: Gene Snitsky drozzled Kane.

Here's Ahoy Me Duckies with AWFUL, AWFUL new music, and he is immediately attacked by OMG MONSTER HEEL. Snitsky with a beating, pumphandle slam, and a win. Eugene comes to save Regal by rolling him out of the ring. Snitsky then yammers about how he wants to destroy people.

Backstage, Eric and Coach enjoy pudding cups. Eric: "I gotta tell you..." and then he (or the audio) trails off. Awesome.

Commercials.

Monster dot of the com: Diva battle royale at Taboo Tuesday.

Backstage: Trish gets all catty with Lita. Trish calls Lita fat. Haha. It's like she's sayin' what we're all writing! They rumble for a bit.

Smackdown Rebound: Booker calls Orlando a 'houseboy.' He turned face? Weird. Holy crap, will they finally give him the title? Tough 4 Nuff. Jesus, is that guy missing teeth?

Backstage: Triple gets mouthy to the rest of Evolution. Flair yells at him to calm down.

Commercials.

Suit By Bob Barker vs. Robe by Rod Roddy

Orton knocks Flair down. Scoopslams a plenty. Flair kicks downstairs, then chops Orton onto his ass. And again. Orton now with the knockdowns. Back body drop sends Flair to the floor again. Whips all around, Orton clotheslines Flair. And again, this time Flair goes flying to the outside. Orton comes out, and they exchange chops. With barbecue sauce. Back in the ring, Orton covers for 2, which JR COMPLETELY oversold. Punching, Flair flop! Orton charges, but Flair dodges, so Orton goes armfirst into the post.

Commercials.

They're clubbering when we return. Flair's prone, and Orton goes up top for... could it be...? THE STUPID! He should have seen Flair rolling a mile away. Flair stomps the knee Orton landed on. Figure Four. Orton turns it over. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE FOLKS. Flair breaks the hold. Both men standing, Flair chops away. Orton punching. 10 punches in the corner. Backbodydrop gets 2. Powerslam from Orton. Really Krappy One! Batista's on the apron, but Benoit+Jericho+Maven come to beat the hell out of him. While the ref is distracted, HHH comes out of nowhere and nails Orton with a chair. Hunter rolls Flair on top of Orton, cover 3. Hunter and Flair try to exit, but they are blocked at every turn by faces. Even Hurricane and Rosey. Hah. 'Scalded Dog' is said. Flair backs right into Orton. Repeated Krummy Offering! HHH begs off, but the Sueprfaces (and Maven) have him. Rolling germans! The Midcarders are all on the outiside pumping the crowd. Suplex from Jericho, yet another RKO. MXC time, probably.

Final Thoughts: Benoit's probably gonna wrestle on Heat. Cue smark anger feedback. Dat's right.