Hello.

Every so often, it occurs to me that someone who doesn't write for us might understand one or two sentences and enjoy them enough to want to understand more. For this reason, and because my sad effort to rip-off Mideon's patented CYOA gimmick is never going to get done, I present the Weekly Visitor Glossary.

Listed in hopefully alphabetical order are some of the most confusing, referential, or just plain indecipherable terms used at Weekly Visitor. Each term is accompanied by a definition that, whenever possible, refrains from using a billion other undefined WV terms.

UPDATE!! Now anyone can jump in and add a definition by simply picking a color to represent them. Choose one color to represent everything that you are, everything you hold dear, and everything significant about your existance on this planet. And no one gets black. If you want to add a term to the glossary, just stick a "1" in your color between the term and the definition. If you want to add a definition to a term already in here, just tag on a "2" under the old definition and bring in the new hotness. If something has already been defined twice, just add...wait for it wait for it...a "3." I think you can take it from here.
Oh yeah, and add a line-break when you add a new definition to a previously defined term. Geez.

THE MYSTERIOUS JG is decked out in green, representin' da Grove. Green is the color of lemon-lime soda packaging, Luke's second lightsaber and my third favorite Sailor Scout.

SUPER ASIA is representin・the Red Jacks, which is old-school Grand Theft Auto ... III. I guess red could be my third-favorite Sailor Scout, it's also the awesomest color left after green. Jerk.

THE NEXT MIDEON is representin' StevieCorp, the last Mom 'N Pop operation in a market choked by soulless conglomerations who throw $1000 bills around. Pink is kind of hard to discern from red, but then again, a whale is kind of hard to discern from YOUR MOM!!! My entries are the ones with swears.

SOFA is blue, the color of support materia, and also the color of wondering why everyone's names are in all caps.

JON is straight Ballaz territory. I'm just hoping you get me confused with either Super Asia or TNM. My entries will be the ones that don't exist. Upon reflection, that looks more like poo than purple.

THE WV GLOSSARY
Last Update: Friday, April 21, 2006
Miscellaneous: All entries that have a "SEE: " in them are now hyperlinked to said reference. This took forever.
New entries: Denny's Not Contributing Enough to Your Rival
New definitions: Bardshaw Crotch Tunnel The World of Eyes

ADMIRAL ACKBAR 1. ・Remember near the end of Return of the Jedi, when that lobster-headed Rebel officer realizes the rebels have fallen into a trap and yells IT'S A TRAAAAP! That's Admiral Ackbar.

AJ STYLES AS RINGBEARER 1. - He wears the One Ring on a necklace. Use your eyes to L@@K. You'd think someone so Jesused-out would be more about The Chronicles Of Narnia, but Monty Brown probably won't let him wear a lion around his neck.

ALGUS 1. A Final Fantasy Tactics Guest・character who forcibly joins you and eventually betrays you. So if anyone makes reference to Algus and you don't immediately realize they are a treacherous, Flair-esque HEEL, you're a retard.

AKI-HO'S 1. - The many fine bitches who can't get enough of Akio's sexy pajamas. I just made this up right now, but I expect you to use it.

AMBULANCES 1. At one point when hyping his "Ambulance Match" with Shane McMahon on a LIVE Raw, Kane talked to the camera about how hideously violent it was going to be, how Shane McMahon would be destroyed, etc. As his monologue continued, we saw a swirly fade to a POV shot of the rear of an ambulance while Kane talked about how this was the last thing Shane would ever see. And then we went back to Kane. Who can apparently project his thoughts of ambulances directly into our minds.
2. - This word is much more fun to pronounce AM-BYUUUU-LANCE. Once you have that mastered, proceed on to AM-BYEEE-LANCE. Also, Undertaker likes to drive these things, and Stone Cold does not deserve to be treated like this.

THE AMERICAN DISEASE OF BEIN' RUDE AND IGNORANT AND... SHUT UP 1. - Test does not know how to talk, so he uttered this gem or something similar to it during a backstage promo during the Age Of Un-Americans. Hooker was all about it, and it subsequently found its way into TESTONIAN Lore. Testonian Lore is recorded in The Big Black Book Of Hot Chicks Test Has Fucked.

AMY ANDERSON 1. ・Sailor Mercury (the blue-haired smart one) is known as Amy Anderson in the American dub when not transformed into someone with water-themed powers and an unusually skimpy schoolgirl outfit. The fact that her last name is Anderson and her initials are AA is just beautiful to me. When legal weirdness allowed a new company to take over the show in season 3, her last name spontaneously became 'Mizuno' like it is in the Jap version, but fuck that. Amy is the most timid and frail of the scouts, meaning it would be hilariously out of character for her to say stuff like if they send one of yours to the hospital, you send one of theirs to the morgue. Running gags in JGbeaks include the fact that her IQ is listed as 300 (which, if I understand the IQ scale correctly, means she can create matter through thought alone and she can control the weather even while sleeping) but she's too stupid to see through most NEGAVERSE traps until they've been sprung. Also, her two-episode boyfriend Greg works for Gary Spivey's Psychic Companions Network (which has probably been out of business for like ten years at this point.) I also cheated in DW goofiness by declaring her one of Mars・oath sisters, but then making her cosplay as Zhuge Liang. My favorite Sailor Mercury lines ever are "Well la-di-dah, aren't you brilliant (which she actually said) and "You're an asshole,"(which she did not actually say.)

ANAL ASIANS 1. - Gail Kim's series of adult films. She and Molly were jealous that Lita's book was getting more pub than their own multimedia projects, so Gail Kim knocked her out and stuffed a buttplug in her mouth. If memory serves.

ANGLEIZE 1. - When you charge your opponent in the corner like a dipshit, only to break your shoulder on the ringpost. Named for the people who totally love to do this. Not to be confused with CRAZY MURDER EYES. See PALUMBOIZE, which will direct you back here, at which point you'll have to see PALUMBOIZE again. I just trapped you in a Mobius Strip or whatever! So long, sucker!

ANYTHING TNM SAYS THAT YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND... 1. - Is probably from Around The Horn. Brrringin' up the rrrear, comin' with the meat, Michael Smith telling people to "Shut up!" in a sassful, sassful manner, et al.

ARCH DELUXE 1. - Maven's falling backbreaker on both knees. Maven used to have an implied McDonald's gimmick because of the little "M" he wore on his crotch. But then he watched "Super-Size Me," and his life was forever changed. Now he hangs out with Simon Dean, drinking refreshing protein shakes and going "AHHHHH."
2. - Everybody and their brother uses this move now. If you yourself plan to do so, please remember to wear a CON-DUMB and/or DICK JACKET.

ARN ANDERSON 1. ・Arn Anderson is my favorite wrestler. I'm pretty defensive about it, since Arn adoration is not widely shared around here and a big chunk of the people who have left WV out of general boredom actively disliked him. I was a little offended when nik only wrote one sentence about him in the WV-15, but by the time it was over I realized the highest praise wrestlers she did like received tended to be two or three sentences.

ARTEMIS 1. ・A magical talking guardian cat from the Sailor Moon TV show. Ostensibly owned by Sailor Venus, Artemis is white and male. Infinitely better than Luna (the other cat of import) and Darien (the other male of import,) Artemis talks like an AM radio DJ. In what is surely not a coincidence, Artemis is also the name of the white male cat charged with protecting the baby, the immigrant and the guy on mushrooms from the awesome (but defunct) TV Funhouse show. Artemis shows up in beaks when Val Venis does for pretty much the same reason Chad and Grandpa show up when Misterio wrestles.
2. - I hear Artemis is the number 1 pimp in the OKC.

ASS CRASHER 1. - Okay, so AJ Styles' finisher is called the Styles Clash. When Crash Holly used it, it was the Crash Landing. Billy Gunn added it to his arsenal (LOL) for about two weeks worth of Velocities, at which point Boobermonkeys dubbed it the Ass Crasher. And sometimes I change this to ASS SCRATCHER because I think it is funny. But it is not.

ASS SCRATCHER 1. - See ASS CRASHER. It's like... right up there. TNA crowds sometimes chant "WE WANT A CATCHER, NOT AN ASS SCRATCHER" when it is time for Billy Gunn and BG James to switch homosexual positions.

AWESOME DOWN THIS LEG 1. - During a particularly ridiculous backstage sketch, Mike Awesome asked the "costume lady", who makes panties for the wrestlers, to make him a perfect pair of pants. Pants that say "Awesome down this leg..." (gesturing to his leg). And "Awesome down this leg..." (gesturing to his other leg). When discussing this ground-breaking segment on the Weekly Visitor messageboard, Baruni (I think) then added: "And, they should say 'Awesome' down this leg!" (gesturing towards his crotch).

AYATOLLAH JAM 1. - What I demand we start calling Daivari's guillotine legdrop. If not: beheadings. See CRAZY MURDER EYES.

BABY BEAR 1. - During TNA's run on Fox Sports Net, Alex Shelley was indentured to the horrible ogre known as Goldylocks. He was idiotically known as "the Baby Bear" because he was like 19 or something at the time and already on national television while the rest of us are wasting our lives typing furiously away on the Internet and hiding from Brok Leznar in a complex maze of underground tunnels. Also in Goldylocks' stable of furry friends was Abyss, who was probably known as "the Porridge Golem" or something. Goldylocks ignored Abyss and lavished Alex with loving Gorgon stares because, seriously, wouldn't you?

BACON BANANA 1. ・An alternate name for Batista. Batista first came about in the WWE as the Rev. Devon Dudley's assistant, Deacon Batista. Apparently that sounds a lot like 釘acon Banana.・

BAGDOG 1. - How the hell was this omitted? Lita briefly had a stable of small, yappy dogs that she carried around in tote bags during backstage segments. But the captain of Team Bagdog escaped Lita's yard and was run over by Shannon Moore's hummer or something, as reported by Mr. Alex Wilkins when he burst upon the scene.

BARDSHAW 1. Someone, Sofa I think, typed "Bardshaw" instead of "Bradshaw" and we all thought it was very funny. A similar story I'll let someone else tell is responsible for "rebeaks."
2. - "Brad Shaw" was also one of my favorites.

BARREL ROLL 1. - Alternate name for Spanky's finisher, Sliced Bread #2. See BARRELS. It's right below this entry. What are you, blind? Also known as the SUBLIMELY MAGNIFICENT JECHT SHOT #3, which I just strongarmed JG into adding to the Glossary. It's in capital letters, pal. There's no going back now. Once something's on The Internet, it's there forever. As an aside, Peppy Hare screaming "DO A BARREL ROLL!!!!!" in a Jamie Noble accent is like the most hilarious quote from StarFox 64, so there are multiple levels of unfunny at play.

BARRELS 1. ・Comedy involving barrels generally refers to either Spanky or Queen Beryl. Queen Beryl was the villain of the first series of Sailor Moon, so that's what barrels refer to in JG's rebeaks. Spanky was a jobberweight/Velocibaby of the first order before he was fired. He then showed up for one match in TNA. TNA wrestlers aren't paid much, so they say, so in a chat the idea of him being homeless and wearing a barrel to the ring instead of real clothes came up.

BASHAMS 1. - Boobermonkeys and I cosplay as Danny and Doug, respectively. This came about when I compared our similar paths in this crazy game John Cena calls life by declaring myself the Crash to his Hardcore Holly. Because he's a horrible jerk and I'm dead. But he altered it to being the Daniel Basham to my Doug, presumably because of his stubborn refusal to wear a jacket. Although Doug was the one who forgot his jacket tonight. Those Bashams, they'll mess with your head.
2. ・The Bash Man makes no sense. I have little hope for this 泥amaja・ mean, Danny Basham・character getting any better. So・an finally we admit that the Emperor has no clothes? Do the Bashams officially suck yet?
3. - THE ANSWER IS NO, POKEY

BEES 1. ・In a Stacker-2 commercial that no longer airs, some kid was drinking one of their exciting products while mocking Triple H. CGI bees then started to fly out of the can and chased him through town, eventually into a clothesline from Trips himself. Lesson here: Don't drink Stacker-2 unless you want to be attacked by bees that are possibly being controlled by a vengeful Triple H. Also, Orlando Jordan dresses like a bee. Well, like a bee would if bees wore panties.

BLAME YOURSELF OR GOD 1. - A Final Fantasy Tactics quote. This is usually referenced by Sofa or JG.

BLOTTO DEMOTTO 1. ・I ran out of nicknames for Bill Demott well before his days hosting Velocity, back when had his epic three or four week feud with Rikishi. Good God those matches sucked. Anyway, when you can't connect them to a character from Sailor Moon, you go with incredibly forced rhymes, changing people's names when necessary. If you're me. Me-o Stupido.

BOO BARN 1. ・Some haunted house with a webpage that Mideon found. The webpage was supposed to have hidden secrets, but I couldn't find any. The only reason any of us cared was because Victoria was calling Stevie "Boo"or "Beau" or whatever at the time. Mideon may write something useful here later.
2. - I've never written anything useful in my entire life.

BOTTLED WATER ON THE KNEE 1. - See WATER ON THE KNEE.

BREASTESES 1. - Super Asia really likes it when you say this.
2. - Shut up, dude.

BRO-BOT 1. - A black robot. Black robots include Cyborg, 4-LOM, and that one police officer from Futurama. See TROQ.

BRUNT, FCA 1. ・A Ferengi. See ERIC BISCHOFF.

BUTWAIT 1. ・a trademark of Sofa, it combines the meanings of "But" and "Wait" and adds urgency and emphasis with ALL-CAPS. Brilliant in it's simplicity, simplicit in it's brilliancy.

CHAD 1. - aka Chad Kumada, Kumada Yuichirou. Sorta-kinda-maybe boyfriend of Raye 鉄ailor Mars・Hino from the Sailor Moon television series. Ignorant of her secret identity as a Sailor Scout, he may or may not be rich, he may or may not be a rock star, but he is definitely inept. Completely devoted to his bitchy Martian princess, his desire to help Raye through any difficult or dangerous situation is matched only by his inability to do so. JG took to pretending Chad and his sensei Grandpa accompany Rey Misterio to the ring because that's the kind of thing he does. A surfer-type in the American dub, Chad is Rad. Yuichirou is baka. Neither appear more than about ten times in the 200 ep plus series, and neither have a thing to do with wrestling.

CHERRY HILL POSSE 1. - The collective term for Raye, Chad, and Granpa, three loveable miscreants from the popular sitcom "Queen of the Hill". Less often used but much funnier to me is the term "Cherry Hill Families," which makes them sound like a gang from San Andreas. I really did enjoy Grandpa yelling, "Homeys, over here!・ Haha, at first I spelled it Zomies."

CHERRY HILL TEMPLE 1. - Where Raye, Chad, and Grandpa live. Known as the HIKAWA SHRINE in the Jap version. Most of the big group dialogue scenes between the untransformed scouts occur there too, with Chad and Grandpa's whereabouts unknown. The sole exception was an episode where we saw a shot of them having a snowball fight in the background while Lita cracked wise about the possibility of Grandpa's doom at the hands of Evil Darien.

C'MON, TAZZ! 1. - When Tazz and Spike Dudley were a tag team, they feuded with the Dudley Boyz. During a parking lot beatdown performed by the Dudleyz on Tazz and Spike, Buh Buh Ray said this approximately 3,000 times. "C'mon Tazz! C'mon Tazz! C'mon Tazz!" And so on.

COCONUT CYCLONE 1. ・Sailor Jupiter has an attack called "Coconut Cyclone." Like all of her attacks (except the even more ridiculous Jupiter Oak Evolution) it is basically her discharging a massive amount of electrical energy. Ew, Lita and discharge in one thought. And now I'm not sure if Coconut Cyclone isn't some shitty manga name for Oak Evolution. Anyway, I took to calling London's headbutt (that Josh Mathews named the "Coconut Crunch") the "Modified Coconut Cyclone." Then, when Josh named the 450 Splash the "Cosmic Cyclone," I took to calling it the "Modified Coconut Cyclone" too. Wacky. The Coconut Crunch joke later expanded to include calling double noggin-knockers "heavily modified Coconut Cyclones," though it got so confusing that I was probably using "crunch" when I meant "cyclone" half the time.

"COME ON! FINISH HIM!" 1. - The only four words in the English language known to Shaniqua. This led to lots of exciting sentences like "On come! Him finish!" and "Come on him!"

COME OUT AND PLAAAAAAAAAAY 1. - This is from a 1980 vaguely-arsty flick about gang-violence called "The Warriors." The Warriors were a good-guy gang, and members of a rival gang had framed them in a murder that made the Warriors marked men in every gang territory in the city. Near the end of the movie, the enemy leader is trying to draw the Warriors out of hiding, so he rides around (with his gang) in a car, clanking beer bottles together and yelling: "Oh Waaaaaariors, come out and plaaaaaaayaaa!" He yells it like ten times, and he's more insane each time. He sounds like the dude who goes "Hahahahahahaha, wipeout!" It's really cool in a weird way, or weird in a cool way. Later, when it's discovered that the Warriors are innocent, he tries to convince people otherwise by going, "It wasn't us, it was da Warriors! No, please, it was da Warriors!" The delivery was awesome, so be on the lookout for me randomly saying "It was da Warriors!" Anyway, Justice Payne went, "Oh Big Show, come out and plaaaaaayaaaa!" once during the Million Dollar Tough Enough and I milked it for weeks. Mideo got some mileage out of it in a CYOA plotline where you fight the Tough Enough punks. And Crow, Servo and Joel used to take any excuse to reference that line in the first few seasons of MST3K.
2. ・If I remember right, Justice Smith was the guy who channeled the soul of the punk from "The Warriors," as Justice Pain is some indy wrestler who may or may not hate fatties.

CON-DUMBS 1. - Rob Conway fails to wear these when he travels around the world and gets with many girls.

COOK ME UP SOME TATERS 1. - Somewhere along the line, I determined that "I'M GONNA COOK ME UP SOME TATERS!" was the happening new catchphrase that would make wrestling fans go wild for Jeff Jarrett. He can sell Mr. Jarretthead dolls with interchangeable flashing sunglasses, IT'LL BE GREAT. I think it originated here, but I prefer the Cook Him Up Some Taters option in an old CYOA.

COUNTDOWN TO SWEET BRITCHES 1. - Mark Henry once referred to Chris Jericho as "Sweet Britches" in a disturbing fashion, so "Countdown To Sweet Britches" is what JG sometimes called Jericho's CROTCH TUNNEL entrance. Not to be confused with Sweet Bitches, also known as AKI-HOS.

CRAZY MURDER EYES 1. - The proper description for the expression Muhammad Hassan makes when he's threatening to cut your fucking head right off. If only I knew the lyrics to "Betty Davis Eyes," I would compose an uproarious song parody.

CREAM 1. - The material out of which Randy Orton is made, according to misheard lyrics from Evolution's old Motorhead theme music. If you're not listening, or intentionally mishearing, it very clearly states "Randy Orton is made of cream."

CROTCH TUNNEL 1. - I think this was a Waspinator joint. Jericho's old "OOH SPECIAL FX!!!" TitanTron video began by leading us through a portal that seemed to emanate from the nether-regions of Jericho's silhouette. This, dear friends, was the Crotch Tunnel.
2. - I'm almost positive that Evk came up with this one and related it to me.

DABO! 1. - Outer-space roulette enjoyed at QUARK's Bar And Grill. You must shout "DABO!" with each turn of the RAW Roulette wheel, or the spin does not count and you have to step on a crack and break your moogie's back. This is because ERIC BISCHOFF is GRAND NAGUS ZEK, so see those entries. Hey, I didn't write the rules. Of acquisition.

DARK CITY 1. - Look, some old WV comic had this insane panel with Satanic Sean O辿aire using Devil Powar and JR screaming about Sean was gonna "Replicate Dark City!" I don't know what it means either.
2. - Dark city is a weird movie that The Matrix borrowed at least 50% of its plot from. It's about a city that is dark, where the citizens have false memories of their pasts. How Sean O'Haire could replicate it is beyond me.

THE DEADLY BOYS 1. - An alternate name for Team 3-D because they are just so deadly. You can't say "Dudley" in TNA or Judge Vince McMahon will send Baliff Chris Masters after you and you will die like all of those old ladies on Night Court. The debuting Shannon Moore will subsequently be known as "Deadly Moore." I'd attempt to make even worse jokes about that guy, but he's a little bit before my time, there, grandpappy.

DEATH RAYE 1. - Somebody set up us the Buh-Buh Bomb. Also known as that move where he full-nelson atomic drops you right on your big fat ass and nobody knows how it's supposed to hurt, exactly.

DELICIOUS PIES AND CAKES 1. ・Originally this referred to an Undertaker's Deadjournal entry that reads: "Most people think that the tattoo hidden amongst my rolls of neckfat refers to my wife, but it's actually a tribute to Sara Lee. She of the Delicious Pies and Cakes."
2. - Its rare and valuable first appearance was actually in a falsified Paul Bearer IM. He enjoys the pastries.

DENNY'S 1. - This one made the bulk of a lot of HHH jokes for a long time, but when I kept mentioning to TNM and JG that I "gotta add 'Denny's' to the Glossary", they were both all "SAY WHAAAAAAAT?!" Anyway, HHH is associated with Denny's because during his rehabilitation after Jericho tore his quad, we were entreated to numerous video packages entailing how splendidly HHH's rehab was going. One featured HHH sitting in what was probably a TGIFriday's, as there was all kinds of shit up on the walls. If someone says "Shenanegans", I'm going to pistol-whip them. Ahem. I wrote it up on the messageboard... I believe, or possibly an ancient HeatBeak that part of his training involved lots of Grand Slams, because I couldn't tell the difference between Denny's and Friday's for some reason. Okay, all I found was this. That doesn't shed much light. Ah well. Order yourself a Moons Over My Hammy.

THE DETROIT RIVER 1. - Lots of WWE-related things seem to get thrown in here. Title belts, Steve Austin mannequins, and Gold Medals. The weird thing about the Gold Medals was, after Austin tossed them in the river, he magically fished them out and gave them back to Angle when they teamed up.
2. ・There's about a fifty/fifty chance the Giant fell off of Cobo Hall into that, assuming Cobo Hall is on the Detroit River. To the best of my knowledge, both Sumo Monster Trucks survived.

DEVASTATIN' DAVE 1. - This. Refers to Batista, who is named Dave. Yep.
2. ・This has added significance because I asked Mideo to explain it to me, and he linked me to it, and then I had completetly forgot by the next time I saw him online and asked him to explain it again.

DICK JACKET 1. ・Generally refers to the jacket Billy Kidman wears to the ring, but can be any dark-colored jacket that looks like it痴 been assaulted with a BeDazzler. Dark velvety material with shiny sequins just makes a guy look like a dick.

DIT 1. - The Weekly Visitor equivalent of WTF. See DIVIDED INTO THREE.

DIVIDED INTO THREE 1. - When Zhuge Liang stated that the land must be Divided Into Three in a Dynasty Warriors cutscene, Liu Bei's eyes bugged out so much that you'd have thought Zhuge Liang just goatse'd him. Divided Into Three has therefore come to signify a state of supreme shock and surprise. The kind that would make Red Hare fake a heart attack and shout "I'M COMIN' TO SEE YA, DONG ZHUO!"

DONG ZHOU 1. ・Some chunky Dynasty Warriors villain with a stupid voice who takes over the imperial capital and starts living a life of PLEEEEZURE. When you kill him (the best method being Death By Flapjacks,) his dying words are, "My life, of pleasure, gone." I like him because his name is "Dong." Oh, and the game claims at various points that he has committed atrocities in the capital, though no details are given. This handily ties in to an old G Brothers joke involving heels urinating on American flags and dead daddy's graves and stuff in a desperate effort to attract the attention of the disinterested faces they're supposed to be feuding with.

DOOT-DOO 1. - Lance Hoyt uttered these immortal words because he's a fucking dipshit. I guess he thought "DOOT-DOO" was akin to "*sounds of retarded people*"? I try not to think about it.

DR. ANGUS 1. - See PLEEEEZURE.

DWEEBAZOIDS 1. ・All of the Sailor Scouts, even Amy, tend to use retarded surfer-dude putdowns to taunt the minions of the NEGAVERSE. This is because Dic thought Americans would connect with the Scouts more if they were valley girls. To be fair, Serena and Mina are completely believable in that role.

EAT ATTACK 1. - A tip of the fathat to Fat Chicks In Party Hats, an Eat Attack is generally any offensive maneuver employed by a fatty. More specifically, it's one of those cartoonish grabs a large guy attempts against a smaller wrestler, causing the little guy to duck under and the big oaf to come up empty with his arms crossed, at which point he's all "DUH???" Abyss does this at least nine hundred times per match.

EATING ALL HIS FOOD IN TERROR 1. - Bradshaw gorged himself on the many comfort foods in his limo when Eddie Guerrero hijacked it. Then he passed out and they had to call 9-Waah-Waah and bring in the Waaaaahmbulance.

EDGE AS FISH 1. - Nik used to think Edge looked like a fish because he has creepy, sunken, compound eyes. And he only landed that shampoo commercial because the Japanese mistook him for a talking fish.

EMO SQUID 1. - Preferred KoL familiar of FAT FATRY and all-around emotional fish. Named EDGE. Wears the same glasses as me!

ERIC BISCHOFF 1. ・The guy credited variously for making WCW the top promotion in America and/or for tearing the company down is only in this glossary because of his roll in the Billy and Chuck wedding. Bischoff disguised himself as an elderly minister in a brilliant scheme to have two fat Samoans get a few licks in on two fags. But the old man disguise looked a bit like and sounded a lot like Grand Nagus Zek, the elderly leader of all Ferengi on the Deep Space Nine TV show. Thus, his nickname (which came up before it was even revealed the minister was Eric Bischoff) was GRAND NAGUS ZEK, and using any Ferengi character or reference for a Bischoff nickname is considered fair game around these parts.

EVERLASTING THROBSTOPPER 1. - Romeo and Antonio's double STO finisher. So named because they stay hard no matter how long you suck on 'em, ladies! *fingergun*

EVIL CHAD 1. - JG's avatar in any online game the WV staff gets into. In Kingdom of Loathing, he was the founder of the Little People Nation, and was roughly Fat Fatry's equal in stats until his retirement (from which he has returned. Maybe.) And, of course, he owned a store in which "Raye handled his meat." His greatest eTapout achievement was to collapse in a spasming heap for using steroids. "Evil Chad?"was what Zorak said when Space Ghost's evil brother Chad Ghostel showed up on Coast2Coast. So "Evil Chad"'s a combination Space Ghost/Sailor Moon reference.

EVIL SCARECROWS 1. - Akio frequently has to fight them off in his blockbuster motion pictures.
2. He probably used (see) PAINTBRUSHES. Fake.

EWR 1. - Extreme Warfare Revenge is a fantasy wrestling game in which you both tried to book a league and figure out something to do while the game itself took several mintues to load each screen. It was popular at WV for a while, but I may still be the only person who has it installed on a computer somewhere. My fantasy league, at its peak, rivalled the WWE's popularity with main-event champions like Spanky, Lash LeRoux and Shark Boy. Most of my knowledge of anyone who's never wrestled regularly in WWE comes from this game, hence my noting guys' "charisma points" and "overness scores" in TNA rebeaks.

EXTREEM MARCH 1. ・WV was founded in March, so most of us try to do something special for the site during that month. The WV-15, dreamed-up by EvilJon but then hijacked by Hooker, and then Mideon, is kind of an easy way for everyone to pitch in.
2. - Actually, as I have to constantly remind everyone, Weekly Visitor was founded in November 2000, but became weeklyvisitor.com in March of 2001.
3. ・Oh. Well excuuuuuuuse me.

EYEBROWS 1. - Maven used to have giant fucking eyebrows until Simon Dean advised him to start pluckin'. Maven lost 50 pounds and donated all that excess hair to a charity that makes wigs for victims of feline leukemia. TRUE STORY. Alleycat Allies.

FAMOUS, SKIRT-CHASING PALUMBO BROTHERS 1. - The actual quote somehow got Purple Monkey Dishwasher'd over the years, but The Godfather made reference to the womanizing Brothers Palumbo in My Heart Just Got Hit By The Code Red (A Smackdown Rebeak). It was once again brought to the front lines when JG learned that Chris Palumbo has apparently been chasing headskirts around Afghanistan for the last couple years. Look out, Muhammad! He's comin'... TO GETCHA!

FAT FATRY 1. - TNM's avatar in any online game the WV staff gets into. He had a helluva time breaking 500 in eTapout, but his can-opener neck crank finisher was feared. Though a quick Google search shows JG was the only one who kept harping on about it. Fat Fatry also dominates the Kingdom of Loathing with his fancy Foodstuffs Dojo skills. The eTapout one is still funnier. He tended to get pale in the face and ask his corner man to throw in the towel a lot.

FATVALANCHE 1. - A corner charge performed by an overweight individual.

FF3399 1. - Apparently, html code for pink. Jon's purple is also wacky, but it starts with "#" and I don't want the first definition in this thing to read "purple."

FFUAKK 1. - Fucking Fuck Up A Kick Kick. A trademark of Tyson Tomko, right up there with refusing to give beats. Not to be confused with the FKTITFK.

FIGHT IT OUT 1. - In Ogre Battle for the Super Nintendo, a very primitive attempt at an artificial voice would command you to "FIGHT IT OUT!" when you encountered an enemy party. It would also say "LIBERATION!" and "LUCKY!" on occasion. Also "BOO!" but I hardly think we can attribute the use of BOO in ALL-CAPS to Ogre Battle.

FIT FINLAY SPECIAL 1. - When you go to IHOP and order potato pancakes smothered in whiskey. Simon Diamond often does this after looking at the menu and thinking very hard. No. The Fit Finlay Special is actually that move where one guy is clinging to the bottom rope and probably begging off like a big pussy, so his opponent grabs him by the ankles, yanking him up and out into a short powerbomb. So named because Fit Finlay did this no less than seven hundred times per match.

FKTITFK 1. - Fucking Kick Trish In The Face Kick. Victoria used to kick Trish in the fucking face a lot. It's a play on IMPTHOKK, only with "TIT" in the middle.

FLCL 1. - An anime that the entire staff hates, especially Sofa. I can't really define the show because part of what's supposed to be so goddamned great about it is that no one watching knows what the fuck it's about. The really cool anime forum users (HAHAHAHAHA) dismiss us hater demons by saying we "Just don't get it."

FOPPISH BUMBERSHOOT 1. - I was really, really late with a Smackbeak one week during a TWO-MAN POWER TRIP period and Mideon speculated aloud in a rebeak that he might have to hit The Cubs Fan up for a place to stay if I disappeared on him. When I finally posted something, it included a parody of the opening to the old Odd Couple TV show in which I claimed a slovenly man wearing a The Rock mask (Mideon) dropped a cigar butt and that a dapper dandy wearing a giant baseball mascot head (The Cubs Fan) picked it up with his "Foppish bumbershoot." Mideon liked that turn of phrase (the boy has taste) and "The Foppish Bumbershoots" ended up being one of the names you could give your gang in the Grand Theft Palumbo CYOA he wrote months before he actually got to play GTA. The humor of Foppish Bumbershoot was thus multiplied for me as you go on to suggest giving your enemies a "sound thrashing" and Tazz bleats out "A CAPITAL IDEA!" I believe you then die somehow. Oh, and while I assume you all know what foppish means, a bumbershoot is an umbrella.

FUCKIN' A 1. - What I'm calling "OH FACE" JOBBER'S fireman's carry slam finisher. It's not going to get over, but very little that I like ever does. Not to be confused with FUCKY A.

A (FUCKING) CAR 1. - The Big Show pushed one on Hardcore Holly, causing Holly to go insane and transform into his "Big Shot" gimmick, and was actually entertaining. Big Show later went on to push around Luther Reigns' car. SEE: "OH MY CAR"

FUCKY A 1. - Something Triple B typed whilst drunk.

G-GUNDAM 1. ・A Gundam series. Anime about big robots, basically. The source of both of the G Brothers' personal icons, though not the source of their family name. You should give G-Gundam a try if you've never seen it. I may like it more than I like Sailor Moon, there's just not as many wrestling connections. G-Gundam is also the show that has the whole "This hand of mine is burning red/shining finger!!!" thing.

GAIL KIM I'M KOREAN TOO 1. - This was the text on a sign brought to a live event by a WWE fan to let Gail Kim know that she should, in fact, fuck him. If you and a woman share the same country of origin, by law, she has to take you out back and blow you. Look it up. I'll wait.

GAME FACES 1. - What The Heart Throbs apply when they go from smiley to murderous by screening their faces with their hands. Don't hate the playa.

GARAMOND 1. - The font that most of the WV 500 was written in, it's name appears a million times in that article's html code. The joke was EvilJon asking "What the fuck is 'Garamond,' anyway?" It kinda sounds like the name of some third-string Man of Gondor, if you ask me.
2. - "Beregond" is actually the name of the citadel guard who saves Faramir from immolation in Return Of The King, which is eerily fucking accurate on JG's part. Immolation, Ax and Smash. And if you add an "E" to the end of Garamond, it's the last name of Cyan from Final Fantasy 3! THOU HAST HAD THE KNOWLEDGE DROPPED UPON THEE!

GARLIC 1. - Rico's beautiful performance at the Billy and Chuck wedding was marred only by his saying "Garlic" when he meant "Garland" during a discussion of the decorations. Garland is, of course, the first boss from Final Fantasy 1. There is no garlic in that game, though getting the RUBY would be way easier if there was.

GAY ORGASM 1. - Shawn Michaels' entrance music. See ISLAMIC ORGASM, OLYMPIC ORGASM.
2. ・I think it's worth noting that this is the ORIGINAL orgasm music, and all the other orgasms are references to this one. The deeply disgusting Grandaddy (through adoption) of 'em all.

GET EQUIPPED WITH 1. - When you beat one of Doctor Wily's robots in Mega Man 2 (and possibly some of the other MM games,) the game's text would say "GET EQUIPPED WITH LEAD BUBBLE" or whatever you'd won. Lead Bubble. Man, you just knew that's all that would kill freaky alien Wily because it's so impossible to fucking hit anyone with it.

GOODBYE FOREVER 1. - Mideon will sometimes amusingly sign off this way when ending a particularly trivial conversation or message. It's probably never appeared on site and thus has no place in the Glossary.

THE GRAND LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE 1. - Where ONE PIECE is.

GRAND NAGUS ZEK 1. - A Ferengi. See ERIC BISCHOFF.

GRANDPA 1. ・Sailor Mars/Rei/Raye Hino's grandfather on Sailor Moon. I pretend he and Chad follow Rey Misterio around because I'm an idiot. Technically, I don't even know if he is Grandpa Hino because it's never revealed if he's Mars' maternal or paternal grandfather. The DVD credits list him as "Rei's Grandfather,"and they list everyone's full names. Even people like Melvin. Anyway, Grandpa runs a Shinto temple and annoys Raye by being into girls about her age. He shows up more often than Chad, though fewer episodes are actually centered on him. My favorite Chad and Grandpa nickname is probably "HANGING CHAD and LETHALLY-INJECTED GRANDPA."

GRAND PORKY 1. - The mysterious "second commentator" on some lucha show EvilJon rebeaked referred to Brazo de Plata as "Grand Porky." If you know who Brazo de Plata is, you're ahead of me. And can shoot holes through my "Lone commentator" theory.

THE GREAT EQUATOR 1. - Like the regular equator, but great!!! It's something stupid that Josh said.

GROO 1. - Or "Grooing." The RAW song sounds like someone is singing "Groo to the music", if you want to hear it. "Groo" is also the name of a comic book drawn by Sergio Argones, of Mad Magazine fame.

GUN PANTIES 1. - Rodney Mack briefly sported a big fat gun on his panties before he was deemed Too Hot For TV.

HA HA HA HA 1. - When Spike Dudley last turned heel by betraying Rey Misterio and becoming THE BOSS of Bubba Ray and D-Von, his evil brothers held him aloft while he went "HA HA HA HA!" He didn't even laugh, it was like he said the word "ha" a few times. Fucking hilarious. His heel character has improved vastly since then, which is not to say it's actually good.

HAHA, WHORES 1. - What you shout when "H-O-R-S" is achieved in a game of Horse against either Mark Jindrak or Todd Grisham.

HALLOWED 1. - see VINCE MCMAHON'S PRIEST. Though not if you want to learn how to pronounce it.

HASSAN'D 1. - A verb. If Muhammad Hassan's music interrupts you, particularly during a critical milestone in your life, you have been HASSAN'D. Example #1: Imagine you have just been named valedictorian of your high school and are off to study Quantum Phaggotry at Ball State or whatever you're into. You take the podium to deliver your commencement speech in front of an auditorium full of your family and friends. "Seniors," you begin, "you are at a crossroaAAAAYALEAHELALEAHALEAHLAHEYAH!!!!!" SUCKA, YOU JUST GOT HASSAN'D. Example #2: You are in the delivery room, watching your wife (or husband) give birth to your first child. The doctor smacks the baby around a little bit, then turns to you and proudly states, "Congratulations, it's a AAAAYALEAHELALEAHALEAHLAHEYAH!!!!!" HASSAN'D. At that point, the doctor rips off his mask, revealing himself to be Muhammad Hassan. He then divulges that HE was the one who fathered your little brown baby. Also, your wife turns out to be Daivari. Further examples to follow.

HAY GUYS WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN THIS CHATROOM??? 1. - A Progressive Boink inside joke that I don't fully understand but have adopted nonetheless. I imagine it just generally refers to some dummy nobody likes barging into a conversation and trying to win everyone's approval. I also think I changed "HEY" to "HAY," because that is funnier.

HE BITE ME! 1. - Possibly the best part of the Jackie Chan Adventures cartoon were the "Ask Jackie" segments at the end, where a small child would shout an inane question at the real life Jackie Chan. My favorite was "HEY JACKIE!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS???", to which he told some sob story about once owning a dog but he and the dog did not enjoy a close relationship because he was always jet-setting around the world shooting motion pictures and the dog would not obey his commands because it did not understand the words that were coming out of his mouth. It got so bad that the dog bit him, which Jackie explained by yelling "HE BITE ME!" It was funny. I'll probably apply it to Shark Boy at some point.

HEAVILY MODIFIED COCONUT CYCLONE 1. - The double noggin-knocker. See COCONUT CYCLONE.

HIKAWA SHRINE 1. - It's Jappy talk for CHERRY HILL TEMPLE. Due to word-order weirdness between languages, "Hikawa" probably means "Hill temple," and "Shrine" means Cherry."

HMM YES 1. - This is what Simon Diamond says when he rests his fat Irish head on his hand and ponders the imponderables.

HONEY-BAKED HAM 1. - I have no idea why Steve Austin is supposed to be a honey-baked ham. It's a joke from WV comics that predates me.
2 - Austin is the Honeybaked Ham because he's lazy and doesn't do anything, and yet everyone loves him. At least, I'm pretty sure that's why JOSH and Baruni would call him that.

HOPKIN GREEN FROG 1. - This gave us about a month and a half of Rene Dupree material. Him name is sicka, sicka, Slam Shady. I'm always behind the Skull and 8-Ball when it comes to Internet fads. See HASSAN'D.

HORABLE 1. - This word either describes the type of Husband Hemsley is (according to a fan's sign), or it very accurately describes the spelling skills of most wrestling fans. I tend to pronounce it "WHORE-A-BULL," which would appear to be only slightly different than the standard pronounciation of "horrible," but entertains me about a million times more. There's some old Warner Bros. cartoon where something horable is going on, and Daffy Duck starts screaming "HORRIBLE!!" in some crazy voice, which I always think of. Always.

IMPTHOKK 1. - Tajiri's finisher, it stands for "Inexplicably More Powerful Than His Other Kicks Kick."

"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" 1. - Mark Jindrak made this infamous proclaimation when he got sick of killing jobbers on Velocity. And now he's right back to killing jobbers on Velocity. Give a hoot. Punch Scotty 2 Hotty in the face.

I WANT TO PLAY IN THE SAND 1. - From the Evolution theme by Motorhead. I heard "I draw a line in the sand" as "I want to play in the sand." The guest Rawbeak with my Evolution theme lyrics got more love than usual, and every possible permutation of Trips, Randy, Ric and Batista frolicking amongst sand castles, worms and chiggers showed up in the following weeks.

ISLAMIC ORGASM 1. - Muhammad Hassan's entrance music. See GAY ORGASM, OLYMPIC ORGASM.

ITCHY KIDMAN 1. - You wouldn't know it from his current image, but Billy Kidman's first big singles push was back in WCW, when he joined Raven's Flock. In the matter of a week he went from a blue-chipper jobberweight wearing panties with his name on them to a greasy dude in slacker garb who appeared to bathe seasonally. Instead of hopping on turnbuckles and posing to the fans, he hopped on turnbuckles and scratched himself. Generally regarded as Billy Kidman at his second-best by much of the WV staff, but still very popular. See DICK JACKET.

IT'LL BE GREAT 1. - I frequently say something dumb and then tack this onto the end of it, because it's one of those Triple Word Scores for comedy.

IT'S A FAAAAKE! 1. - Apparently some Romulan dude said this once in a strange voice. Look for a second definition soon from someone who actually saw the show.
2. - The episode is "In The Pale Moonlight", in which Sisko and Garak falsify some transmission in order to coerce a Romulan Senator into the Dominion War. The Romulan sees through the plot, however, and utters the "FAAAAAKE!" line in a hilariously shouty voice. He should have started tapping his bowl-cut to indicate intelligence. Even more interesting were this episode's deleted scenes, in which the Senator meets Sisko's son ("IT'S JAAAAAKE!") and is taken aback by a surprise birthday party ("IT'S A CAAAAAAKE!"). If he wants, Sofa can continue to clarify this entry when he swings by to let us know how many LIGHTS be up in this Cardassian heazy.

IT'S A TRAAAAP! 1. ・See ADMIRAL ACKBAR.

JACKIE CHAN'S NIECE'S MUSIC 1. - A play on HASSAN'D. Jackie's fictional niece is named "Jade," so someone suddenly interrupted by her entrance music is JADED. And has been Jade'd.

JACQUELINE 1. - Jacqueline, the big-boobed Black woman who once beat Chavo Guerrero Jr for the Cruiserweight Title on Smackdown, was voted the Best Wrestler Ever in the first WV-15. Basically, nik gave all her points to Jackie and everyone else split theirs between a few people. In her write-up for Jacqueline, nik explained that she has a soft-spot for strong Black women. She also gave us the immortal line, "HAHAH, she's black ya'll." That was from nik's personal-list write-up, where Jackie was NINTH. I don't know. I unthinkingly spoppored the whole thing in my write-up for #3, so I'm hardly blameless. But yeah, I always thought it was 土誕ll,・but I can't find a dictionary to back that up. Back that ass up.

JADED 1. - What Josh Mathews constantly accused Bill Demott of being. See JACKIE CHAN'S NIECE'S MUSIC.

JERMAINE O'NEAL SPECIAL 1. - When Mark Jindrak punches you right in your motherfucking face. Named for an incident at The Palace of Auburn Hills in which Muhammad Hassan threw a cup of Iraqidile Red Kool-Aid at Ron Artest, sparking a wild fracas. Daivari darted out onto the court, shouting frantically in Farsi, and got jaw-jacked by Jermaine. Then Rhyno gored the Indiana Pacers' starting center, a flowerpot.

JINDRAK AS BALLER 1. - Basketball is his favorite sport. He likes the way they dribble up and down the court. Not only is Mark Jindrak allegedly good at basketball in real life, his gimmick when he first appeared on WCW Saturday Night and programs of that ilk was that of a college basketball player who had been banned from the NCAA on account of uncontrollable violence. Bobby Knight once started choking Mark Jindrak, but Mark Jindrak CHOKED HIM RIGHT BACK. They became inseparable after that incident, as Knight would often throw chairs which Jindrak would pick up and hit people with. More shit that doesn't deserve its own entry includes my name for Jindrak's finisher (BRACKET BUSTER) and what I say when he pins somebody (GIMME ALL THREE OF THESE). That's what some SportsCenter douche shouts when somebody hits a three-pointer. One of the ones with glasses. I don't know. It may be the same one who talks about "makin' some sweet moolah with Uncle Rico."

JOHN CENA AS FRED FLINSTONE 1. - Someone clearly shouts "YABBA-DOO!" at the beginning of Cena's "My Time Is Now" entrance music. Clean the potatoes out of your ears. Maybe you can get some sort of wacky talking animal appliance to do it, Cheapasaurus Rex.

JOSH MATHEWS AS KEFKA 1. - Basically just because of the laugh and borderline insanity. Grand Theft Palumbo had a Final Fantasy bent, so Josh took the role of Kefka. He rode the RPG Villain gimmick to a fourth-place finish in The Angus Invitational.

KEEP ROCKIN・ BABY 1. - There's an announcer/play by play man/prattling Hellbeast with a synthesized voice in Capcom vs SNK 2 who maintains this near constant flow of Engrish gibberish in the background. Even when you're fighting, this inhuman voice says stuff like, "That's what what I like to call, big damage!・ He also tells you where you'll be fighting next (be it Osaka, Kinderdyke, or one of like three other random holes.) But the real highlight for me is when you lose and opt to continue, as he cheers you on with, "Keep rockin' baby!" He pronounces it "Bay-bay," like he was electronic Chris Jericho or something.
At one point late in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, a heroic character dies in the midst of a struggle for freedom. His last words to his comrades are, "Keep," but his voice trails off before he can finish the sentence. I like to think he was going to say, "Keep rockin' baby!"

KICKING ONE'S LEG OUT OF ONE'S LEG 1. - Not really a WV joke, but I use it all the time. Refers to when Owen Hart sabotaged his own big heel turn on Bret by totally botching the post-match interview. In an act of uncommon dickishness, Owen kicked Bret's leg out from underneath him after a badly injured Bret lost their chance to win the tag titles from the Quebecers. In the interview, though, he said "I kicked your leg out of your leg!"

L@@K 1. - One of the great mysteries of eBay is how everyone ever sticks "L@@K!!!" into the title of their auction, thinking this will drum up business from rabid collectors of little "at" symbols. Alex Shelley frequently has an "@Lx" logo on his hotpants, so he is therefore an eBay seller. Do not question it.

LAST CALL OF THE WILD 1. - When you have imbibed too much jungle rum and you no longer know where you at, Orlando, Monty Brown gives you his fallaway slam known as The Last Call Of The Wild. If you try to return to the bar, he will cut you off via THE POOOUUUUNCE!!! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay on The Serengeti.

LEEEEEEEEEROY! JENNNNKINS! 1. - An inexplicably hilarious and obviously fake Internet fad that's probably from like two years ago. World Of Warcraft player Leroy Jenkins, who we all know is just stupid as hell, returns to his computer after acquiring fried chicken and is so ramped-up that he charges into The Lair Of The Fanciful Unicorn or whatever before his clanmates are prepared. I propose that the next time an ANGARY face rushes the ring prior his partner's entrance and takes a heel shitkicking, we say that he pulled a Leroy Jenkins. SPANKY, YOU ARE JUST STUPID AS HELL

LIGHTS 1. - A reference to an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Captain Picard is captured by Cardassians and sent to a prison camp run by a really stupidly sadistic Cardassian prison commander. He keeps asking Picard how many light he has above his desk in his office. There are four, but he wants Picard to tell him 5 for god knows what reason. This ends with Picard screaming "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!!" in probably the most memorable line of the series. The episode ends with another oft-quoted line, "I was beginning to believe there were five lights." It's not exactly one of my favorite episodes, and one Rawbeak I did opened with "YO THERE BE FOUR LIGHTS UP IN THIS CARDASSIAN HEEZY!". Yeah.

LIL' SLUGGER 1. - A character from PARANOIA AGENT. He's some punk Jap kid wearing a red baseball cap and in-line skates who goes around seemingly randomly smashing people in the back of the head with a golden hockey stick and then skating away. They always say it's a bat, which makes "Slugger" make more sense, but it looks like a hockey stick. Within a few episodes it's damned obvious there's something much more sinister and supernatural going on than that. However, I fell in love with Lil・Slugger in this one episode where he bops somebody, then stops to check his handiwork with a characteristic evil grin, but suddenly the guy gets up and looks at him and Lil' Slugger gets this "OH SHIT" look on his face.

LIMOS 1. - In the early days of our Pulitzer-winning TNA coverage, Shane Douglas worked hard for the money by chasing limos around all night while ejaculating in his pants. I think one ultimately contained Randy Savage, likely making Shane be all like "OOHOOHOO, YEAAAAH!!!" The Kings Of Loathing were distressed by this turn of events because they were the No Limo Soldiers. Like 99% of the limos ended up containing some busted old dude from the Millionaire's Club, anyway. Had JBL used the Millionaire's Club to secure the wheel of his limoosine, Eddie Guerrero wouldn't have stolen it and he wouldn't have had to EAT ALL HIS FOOD IN TERROR.

LINT 1. - An annoyance to some, fatal to SA's favorite wrestler who never got anywhere, Rico. During Rico's run as manager of Chuck and Billy, he wore stylish jackets and made a big deal about brushing lint off of the arms and shoulders of his clothes. In a choose-your-own-adventure, it is possible to kill Rico using lint.

LITA 1. - The x-treem skank known for cheating on Matt Hardy with Edge shares her first name with Sailor Jupiter's non-scout alter-ego in the American dub of Sailor Moon. Lita is Makoto in the Jap version. Though Sailor Jupiter makes reference frequently to having had her heart broken by an old boyfriend named "Freddy," she makes reference to other old beaus, including "Matt."

LITTLE PEOPLE NATION 1. - The name of a WV-only clan in the online Kingdom of Loathing game, but obviously, it's more than that. Maybe I should just quote a rebeak of the entire conversation, between Josh and Tazz, on Velocity:
Now Mini-Angle is discussed. Tazz: "I love the little people." Josh: "You do!?" Tazz: "Yeah, you can rest plates on their head, perfect height to kick right in the face, I love the Little People Nation! The little bastards, I love 'em! I'm tellin' ya, I'm a short guy myself, but I'm not a little, I'm not, you know, considered like a dwarf. And some people say you Josh are the mayor of the Little People Nation. That's what I heard. Cause you're kind of a little guy yourself. I mean, you know." Pause. Tazz: "Call the action Josh, come on, what are ya・ Josh: "The views expressed by Tazz are soley those of Tazz's discretion, and not quite those of World Wrestling Entertainment." Tazz: "See, now if Ultimo Dragon woulda did that dropkick to that little guy on Smackdown, he would have missed it! He woulda been six feet over his head!" Josh: "So you think that little people have the advantage in life?" Tazz: "Oh yeah, they're perfect height for a lot of things! Especially in a seedy hotel room!"

LOL 1. ・Idiot shorthand for 斗augh out loud,・of course. For Weekly Visitor, the phrase became significant when Boobermonkeys noted how often if shows up in The Hurricane痴 web diary. Our collective love for The Hurricane took a big hit that day.

MAGIC CARPET SPLASH 1. - The Best Thing That Ever Happened. Unofficially.

MAKOTOCHAN 1. - See LITA. "Here come Makotochan, a Hulkamaniac, powerbomb those muthafuckas into thumbtacks" is from my old Sailor Moon Classic Episode Guide, and is basically just me sticking Makoto's name into some Insane Clown Posse song.

MARKING OUT FOR ONESELF 1. - Pretty much what it sounds like, this is generally the term I use if someone celebrates wildly for no apparent reason. Simon Dean does it a lot. A LOT. The UNNECESSARILY CELEBRATORY VERTICAL SUPLEX might have been called the "Marking Out For Oneself" Suplex in an alternate universe. The MOFO Suplex.

MAROMI 1. - A little superdeformed anime puppy thing from PARANOIA AGENT. It's meant to be cute and it's very popular in PA's diagetic universe. However, it tends to occasionally come to life and tell the original LIL' SLUGGER victim Tsukiko that the horrible things happening to the people around her are not her fault. Gene Snitsky wouldn't need the reminder, but that's neither here nor there. Maromi also sometimes gets angry-looking and tells Tsukiko that people deserve to suffer. While being a fluffy, cutesy anime character. Awesome. Giant, scary Maromi also sits at the center of a circle of Lil' Slugger victims in the closing credits.

MARS CELESTIAL FIRE SURROUND 1. - For understanding WV purposes, it's JG's idiotic nickname for Rey Misterio's West Coast Pop. The "Ground-Based MCFS"is when he does the WCP roll-up without using the ropes to springboard first. The actual Mars Celestial Fire Surround is the US dub name for Sailor Mars・attack from R, 釘urning Mandala.・ Someone decided that was too Jappy and needed to include the word Mars, so they changed it. Both names work for me. She debuts this attack against the villain Katsy in the wrestling school ep. Katsy's monster of the day had left Grandpa lying in a crumpled heap. Raye can mess with Chad, and Raye can mess with Grandpa, but you had best not get the decidedly false impression that you can mess with Chad or Grandpa.
2. From now on, the Ground-Based Mars Celestial Fire Surround is to be known as the Mars Terrestrial Fire Surround. I'm sure I can count on seeing lots of other beakers using that one.

MASTER ASIA 1. - The Undefeated of the East, and Super Asia's personal icon. A G-Gundam character who appears to be a babyface for maybe two pisodes before being revealed as the true great villain of the show. Domon Kassu's former sensei who has sided with the evil Dark Gundam for unknown reasons. The episode in which he and Domon finally FIGHT IT OUT is called "Goodbye Master, Master Asia's Last Breath," but I can't tell you who wins the fight because I don't want to spoppzor it. "Undefeated of the East" is some kind of honorific title, but it's tacked on practically every time his name is spoken, even if it gets said like three times in a minute. "Super Asia" refers to a specific goofy visual from the series.

MCFS 1. - See MARS CELESTIAL FIRE SURROUND.

MEAT AND POTATOES 1. - Bill Demott, always one to verbally fellate Chuck Palumbo (is that what Chucking the Palumbo means?) used to claim he was the "Meat and potatoes of the FBI." The WV staff found this oddly hilarious and made constant reference to it at the time. My favorite was the theoretical sitcom, "Meet the Potatoes." My levitating potato familiar in KoL is called "Meat."

MECHANIX GLOVES 1. - In WV history, these were first noticed on Chuck Palumbo when he began his short-lived "Custom" Chucky P gimmick. Mechanix Gloves are, naturally, used by mechanics and pit crews because they provide good grip and protection. But since Chucky P started the craze, you see 'em everywhere.

MELINA FACE 1. - The disgusted, wrinkly-nosed expression made by Melina and bitchy females of her ilk when they find something to be like totally icky.

MELODRAMATIC DOUCHE POSE 1. - When Randy Orton leans back and stretches his arms out like he wants to give the whole world a hug. Which it would probably oversell.

MIKE SANDERS' BAD DAY 1. - One of Sofa's favorite continuing backstage segments ever. It started on the opening match of "Above Average" Mike Sanders' WCW Thunder debut, where he faced Crowbar. Jeff Jarrett is on commentary, so Sander steals the guitar and hits Crowbar with it for the win. Later in the show, Backstage, Jarrett (with another guitar) congratulates Sanders with a guitarshot of his own. LATER, Sanders awakens to see Daffney, who hits him with a chair. STILL LATER, Sanders recovers yet again, only to be randomly Kanyon Cut by a hall-wandering "Postively" Kanyon.

MINA KOCHAN 1. - My favorite part of this joke is that no one else could possibly find it amusing. Sailor Venus is "Minako" in the Jap version, and "Mina" in the American dub. But in the Jap version, the scouts always add the feminine diminutive suffix "Chan" and call her "Minakochan." So a dub fan could conceivably decide her name is "Mina Kochan" and it would be very, very unfunny.

MINERAL TOWN 1. - Friends Of Mineral Town is a Harvest Moon game for Game Boy Advance. I was on a Harvest Moon kick, mainly amused at how an upcoming Harvest Moon sequel had "For Girls" tacked onto the end, when one of those delightful Josh/Tazz Velocities came around. Tazz explained Bill Demott's absence by randomly telling us that he was off building a barn or something, and that is why Hugh Morrus now lives in Mineral Town.

MODIFIED COCONUT CYCLONE 1. ・A headbutt, specifically the one performed by Paul London, or a 450 Splash, specifically the one performed by Paul London. See COCONUT CYCLONE.

MODIFIED NINJA CHOKEOUT 1. - Any boring-ass resthold that isn't technically a rear chinlock. See NINJA CHOKEOUT.

MODIFIED SHINE AQUA ILLUSION 1. - Shine Aqua Illusion is the only English-language attack Sailor Mercury has that doesn't have the word "Mercury" in it. I wanted to give this name to MNM's tandem finisher The Snapshot, in the hopes that if Joey Mercury ever got a singles finisher, I could call it the "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody" or something more Mercurial. Mercurian. Mercury-like. But anyway, those guys are on Smackdown, and seldom featured in the Smackdown Rebound, so I don't get to call their matches at all. To soothe my troubled soul, I have taken to calling all unnamed (and some named) tandem moves "Modified Shine Aqua Illusion." God I'm an idiot. Sofa recently called The Snapshot "Shabon Spray" (the Jap name for "Mercury Bubbles Blast,") which fits all the requirements I had for an MNM team finisher.

MONOCLES 1. ・The image of some dapper high-society dandy being so amazed by some shocking and vulgar act of rudeness that his monocle flies out is perhaps the highest form of comedy yet achieved by man. Mideon claimed Arn's monocle shot out because of some gay thing Golddust did when trying to explain the whole "Dustin goes to Arn for help what a tard" thing in a WV-15. It's all tied into "He caught me with my pants down" somehow. Anyway, monocles exist at WV only to be shot out during DIT moments.

MOOYAH 1. - Cyborg, the black-cyborg on Teen Titans, is known to yell "booyah a lot. In one episode, he emerged from a robotic cow and yelled "Mooyah." Dat's cool.

MUSHED-UP SEX 1. - The lyrics to the old Smackdown theme include "Much success," but it kinda sounds like "Mushed-up sex."

NAKORURU 1. - A character from the very Jappy fighting game series "Samurai Shodown.・ Yes, "Shodown." As a young female from the world of J-Pop, Nakoruru naturally has creepy fanboys. I saw a picture of Sofa with a Nakoruru action figure at some point. I'm not trying to imply anything, just explaining why she's listed here. Personally, I fucking hate Nakoruru. Her hit-priority is ridiculously high.
2. I actually got the toy out of a gumball machine in Japan. It was used for a photography project, and its current whereabouts are actually unknown. Somewhere in Sofa's closet.

THE NEGAVERSE 1. - Collective term for Sailor Moon villains, basically, and it may refer to where they're from but it's incredibly unclear. Made up of the kind of goofy, homework/overeating/jealousy themed villains 14-year-old female role models would fight. If you want to get technical about it (and I'm sure you don't,) only season one's Beryl and her minions (the "Dark Kingdom" in the Jap version) are from The Negaverse. If it's even a place. Ann and Alan, the villains of season two's prologue, were also supposed to be from The Negaverse, but that's only because inattention to detail and lack of any kind of planning and continuity is a prerequisite for dubbing Sailor Moon into English.

THE NEW WINNER OF THIS MATCH 1. - The first JG joke that ever got over, I used to declare someone THE WINNER OF THIS INTERVIEW if their music played at the end of an interview, or THE NEW WINNER OF THIS MATCH if music played at the end of a match, but some kind of plot event or post-match beatdown led to music playing again later in the segment. There is no rule that says the loser of the real match is the only one who can become THE NEW WINNER OF THIS MATCH if they beat up whoever they lost to; it is entirely possible for the winner to evade a beating and have their music played again, and be THE NEW WINNER OF THIS MATCH. Rare and valuable gems scattered throughout old rebeaks possibly include things like THE WINNER OF THIS CONTRACT SIGNING, THE WINNER OF THIS SUPER-POSEDOWN, or THE WINNER OF THIS DRINKING SESSION. Had I rebeaked the RAW where William Regal tried to teach us about table manners and got Stunnared, I probably would have declared Stone Cole THE WINNER OF THIS LESSON ON TABLE MANNERS.

NIGGERMAN! 1. - As a result of Kerwin White's horrible racism, I now go around shaking my fist and yelling "NIGGERMAN!" like a stuffy college dean who has once again been pranked by that scheming freshman, Ronald Niggerman. I'm pretty certain I'm going to hell. And I'm taking EDGE AS FISH with me.

NINJA CHOKEOUT 1. - Mideo actually played that 泥ef Jam Vendetta・game where rappers have pro-wrestling style fights over control of the hood or whatever. Ask him. Anyway, that most sleep-inducing and Scott Keith-irritating of restholds, the rear chinlock, is in the game. However, they decided to spice up the name, and it was called the "Ninja Chokeout.: That's just awesome. TNM brought it in as a throwaway, but JG insisted on using it all the frickin' time and it is now possible to confuse WV readers by referring to something as a "Chinlock." The question of whether the hold chokes out ninjas or chokes out anyone in the manner a ninja might out-choke them has never been definitively answered. However, Fit Finlay's use of a chinlock once prompted the comment: "Irish ninjas are the strongest ninjas," so we know where one rebeaker stands.

NOT CONTRIBUTING ENOUGH TO YOUR RIVAL 1. - In Romance of the Three Kingdoms VIII (THREE KINGDOMS HOW COOL), which the Hangin' Out Gang played way too much of, the officer you play as often will be chosen as a rival for a generic jobber officer, who will really, really, often come to taunt you about how much work you're doing for the Prefect as compared to him. One of the most often said phrases is a very strange english message along the lines of "It seems I'm not contributing enough to you." This phrase is said when your contribution is not enough to your rival, or any rival.

NUTRITION KITCHEN 1. - The restaurant owned by Hardcore Holly, which occasionally gets namedropped on Velocity. So weird.

OATH IN THE PEACH GARDEN 1. - Ancient Dynasty Warriors Chinamen Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei swore an oath to die on the same day, which is sometimes referenced when a particularly bad RAW threatens to kill - us all, for example. Movin' to the China, gonna eat a lot of peaches.
2. When the Hangin' Out Gang assembled briefly to watch RAW and scream "JAMIE NOBLE BOY" for a few days, I kept insisting we find a peach garden to make an oath in. We never did. Sofa would have been Liu Bei, the virtuous leader, TNM would have been Guan Yu, the one who does most of the work, and I would have been Zhang Fei, the one who is loud and drunk and not that good, really.

"OH FACE" JOBBER 1. - Ken Anderson. He once looked a bit like that "Oh Face" guy from Office Space, whom I totally hate. He recently wrestled Slater Vain in Oh-Hi-Oh Valley. Had I seen that match, I would have fainted dead away.
2. - "Oh Face" Jobber hit the big time and became Smackdown Superstar Ken Anderson-Kennedy. ANNNNDERRRSONNN-KENNN-UHHH-DEEE. Exclusive, behind-the-scenes footage of Mr. Kennedy in Titan Towers can be found here.

OH MY CAR 1. - Also "OH MY CAH". A reference to the SNES game Final Fight. There's a bonus stage where you get to beat up a car with the liscence plate "JAPAN." After you're done, the owner of the car enters the screen and drops to his knees, saying in a poorly digitized voice, "OH MY CAR!" But because of the bad acting and digitization, it ends up being a really bored "OH MY CAH".
2. - Also, the Final Fight games pretty much all featured Mike Haggar, who was the mayor of some city but spent most of his time walking around shirtless and giving people the Spinning Piledriver. I think he may have been mentioned once or twice. Waspinator liked him, I think.

OLYMPIC ORGASM 1. - I don't think I used this to refer to Angle's "Sexy Kurt" song parody, but I should have. See ORGASMS, both ISLAMIC and GAY.
2. ・This is not to be confused with the Kurt's orgastic glee at shaving The Big Show's head. Though maybe it should be. Yeah, go ahead and confuse them. Two sides of the same gay coin.

ONE PIECE 1. - It's the name of the treasure in THE GRAND LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.

OOHOOHOO 1. - The highly erotic noise Shane Douglas makes when excited by something in TNA's backstage area.

OPENING INTERVIEW MATCH 1. ・A rare example of WV being smarky, or a way to mock the smarkyness of others? I don't know, but the first time this cropped up when a RAW broke about a month-long streak of opening shows with interviews, a star was born.

ORLANDO JORDAN AS RAPIST 1. - There was once a throwaway segment on Velocity in which screaming (white) groupies sought the autograph of Jobbin' Orlando Jordan, whom no one could have possibly recognized or given one single god damn about. This led to Weekly Visitor's Implied Rapist gimmick because of... Kobe Bryant, maybe? That, or we're just racist.

PAINTBRUSHES 1. - When you playfully slap at the top of an opponent's head. In a very FAKE manner. Some kid in front of the G brothers at a live show thought that move was fake, but most of the rest of what Akio did in his kick-ass match with Paul London was real.

PALUMBOIZE 1. - See ANGLEIZE.

PANDAS 1. - Sworn enemies of wrestling, but more specifically of Weekly Visitor. Waspinator once did a column that included jokes about pandas and apparently didn't live up to his personal standards. He talked a lot about how unfunny it was, stopped contributing afterwards, and eventually just left completely. I thought it was funny. Fucking pandas.

PANTS-POOPING 1. - Vince McMahon tried to make us care about his Buried Alive match with the Undertaker (which, if memory serves, Vince won when Kane returned to betray Taker, starting their 237th feud, and returning Bikertaker to Zombietaker) by cutting a promo about how he shat himself in his sleep.

PANTY PALS 1. - Billy and Chuck in headbands and matching panties. I almost forgot to include this entry because it seems like an Internet-wide sensation that everyone already knows about. Such is the magnitude of my delusion.
2. - I'd like to point out that WV were Panty Pals fans (and had outed them) well before the rest of the Internet. That's right, the entire Internet.

PAPA SHANGO 1. - The awful Godfather/Kama/Goodfather wrestler in a voodoo gimmick, of course. At Weekly Visitor, to "Papa Shango" or to "Perform a Papa Shango" means to send someone else into the ropes, and then duck your head as if going for a back body drop way too soon so they can easily counter, be it with a kick or something more fancy and flippity. The actual wrestler Papa Shango was really bad about doing that, and on one occasion he Irish whipped a guy towards the ropes, slapped his palms on his knees, and took the "Counter my back body drop with a facebuster or whatever"pose before his foe had even gotten to the ropes.

PARANOIA AGENT 1. - A really dark, unpleasant anime that would be utterly loathsome if it didn't have a sense of humor about itself. It features MAROMI and LIL・SLUGGER. I was very patient in allowing this show to win me over, mostly because I fucking love the opening credits, which features really happy music, really happy/creepy laughing, and nuclear holocaust. I think.

PATCHES 1. - I love that fact that Wei general Xiahou Dun is called "Patches" (because one of his eyes was shot out with an arrow and he wears an eyepatch) and Chris Benoit is called "Patches" (because he was a Great Depression era urban bully who kept humiliating Tazz at marbles in a CYOA) but no one has ever considered what would happen if they were to TEAM UP.

PEAS 1. - Apparently, Luther Reigns has had them before. He informed us of this fact during A Very Special Smacksgiving.

PENISPLEX 1. - Val Venis' Perfectplex/fisherman's suplex pin. I probably haven't explained this in three years.

PLEEEEZURE 1. - You probably remember Burger King's ad campaign featuring a self-help guru named Dr. Angus urging you to take control of your life by eating a hamburger. These commercials aired one hundred million times during WWE programming. The Docta pronounced "pleasure" like "PLEEEEEEEEZURE," which was both creepy and hilarious. I like to think that Dr. Angus is the one in the Burger King costume. One day he will remove his giant, porcelain head and tell us about the many forbidden pleezures of the Enormous Omelette.

POCKET ROCKET 1. - The name of The Heart Throbs' fat-legged midget who also moonlighted as Acute Angle. His existence caused me to write a "Heart Throbs as Team Rocket" sketch that made me MARK OUT FOR MYSELF.

POKER FACE 1. - A skinny jobber wearing eyeblack who did some dropkicks. A WV legend. One of the 15 Best Things Ever. Geordi would want you to read more about it.

PRINCE SILO 1. - Prince Silo was a forum poster who told us he had a column for us that was better than oral sex. It would blow our tiny, unworthy minds. He kept asking nik to post it, and she kept telling him to email it to her. Apparently he had, multiple times, I dunno. But the guy must have raved faster than I do, because over the course of pimping his column and pleading for it to be posted he managed to slam everyone except Mideon and Waspie. Now, if you were going to pick two of us to like at that point in time then those would be the two, but nobody asked him to insult everyone else's work. He was particularly furious with me, because I was only a forum visitor (not a contributing weekly visitor) but I dared to post in his thread. He also REALLY hated Sailor Moon (who showed up in my forum avatar,) which is fine. But he took it upon himself to list specific objections to specific characters and plotlines (which indicated that he watched a lot of the show he claimed to hate very carefully.) I dunno, he was just psycho. He had a habit of calling most of our jokes things like Pedestrian." He wanted car jokes, I guess.

PSYCHO SOLDIERS 1. - The King of the Fighters series of games often featured a team representing China known as the Psycho Soldiers. They were led by Athena, who looks vaguely like Raye. Her teammates included Kensou, a guy who adores her but whom she has little interest in (see CHAD) and a crazy old man named Chin (see GRANDPA.) In some games they also feature a little kid named Bao with a weird, poofy hat. Athena is the star, though, due to the perv factor. She's the only one to make the jump to the Capcom vs SNK series and the Maximum Impact series, neither of which focus on pre-ordered teams. Even the last KotF game had her in a new "High School Girls" team while Kensou and Chin were presumably having a silent, somber snowball fight at whatever serves as their CHERRY HILL TEMPLE.

QUARK 1. - A Ferengi. He was also a Scottish alien from the old Danger Mouse cartoon, so it's not entirely impossible that Quark will be referenced when Piper comes back or something. But mostly he's a Ferengi. See ERIC BISCHOFF.

QUEEN BERYL 1. - See BARRELS. Often seen in a quotation from one of her lieutenants, Malachite: "Queen Beryl's not going to like this one little bit!"

RAMZA, WHAT DID YOU GET? I... 1. - Major spoppzorz aside, this refers to the ending of Final Fantasy Tactics.

RAVEN 1. - The leader of The Flock and one of Sofa's all-time favorite wrestlers happens to share his name with the magical goth chick from Teen Titans, so any Raven nicknames or jokes you don't understand at all are probably references to her. Unless it's about the Sun Baby.

REBEAK 1. - I may need to be corrected since it happened before my time, but back when there was a "news" page as opposed to an archive, it was called "beaking news." So, simple enough, you just go back and put the "R" in place and have your breaking news site, right? No, instead a picture of Early Bird from McDonalds goes up there and it sticks. How the term "beak" came to be applied to something you'd logically call a "recap," I'm not sure.
2. - To make matters worse for n00bs, I'm apparently the only one here who writes rebeaks, as the current coverage of Smackdown, Velocity, Heat and Experience is all "Beakcaps."

RECORDER 1. - During the first season of Tough Enough, Josh Mathews purchased a recorder at some cool Caribbean pawn shop and used its harmonious melodies to terrorize the other cast members.

ROMEO AS PSYCHOTIC MUPPET 1. - Muppet because every Upcoming Match graphic that features Romeo has him tilting his head slightly and opening his big, happy mouth all wide in the manner of Elmo or somebody. Psychotic because Romeo just has a really creepy face/eyes and one of my favorite things about The Heart Throbs is how they go from dancing sex machines to angry homicidal maniacs immediately after you offend them. And immediately before they lose the match.

RUDE KNAVES 1. - Another insular Final Fantasy Tactics reference. Sofa will correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the line is, "So, there are rude knaves even in the Hokuten?" The Hokuten were knights. Knights should aspire to be polite and non-knavish.

RUTHLESS ROLLUPS 1. - When John Cena debuted, "Ruthless Agression" was the WWE's big catchphrase, and Cena once claimed to have it right before smacking Jericho or somebody. At the time, he knew even fewer moves that he does now and his gimmick was "spunky underdog kid," so going for rollups and schoolboys after Jericho or Angle or whoever missed a move was about all the non-clothesline offense he had. But he sure worked the ruthlessness and the rollups. A lot.

SAKODA 1. - Weekly Visitor Code for Sofa's girlfriend. When told he was dating "Akiko", TNM and JG turned the name into "Akio", and then it was transferred to "Sakoda." Sakoda, being the non-Akio, non-Tajiri member of Tajiri's Japanese Posse.
2. ・I still think we should lovingly refer to them as Akiko and Sakofa, but hindsight is 20-20. Whether you have big fat round eyes or the kind of eyes that make Rock say "ching-chong."

SAMOA JOE AS VERIZON CUSTOMER 1. - Joe's little Islander "Surf's Up, Dude!" hand gesture looks like a telephone. You cannot hear him now because he killed you and ate Catherine Zeta-Jones' kid. YUICHIROU-SAN, YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DOOOO

SANJI 1. - That Indian guy from TNA. AY AJ, HOWZABOUT WE KICK DIS UP A NOTCH WIT' A SHOT OF CURRY POWDUH? No. In actuality, Sanji is the character who would single-handedly make me like ONE PIECE if I ever bothered to watch it. Which I will not. He's a snooty-looking chef with fancy eyebrows who's always smoking some faggot clove cigarette LOLLIPOP, so you're totally expecting a French accent. But then he opens his mouth and it's like what would happen if Tazz and and Vince Russo got really drunk and went to a Yankees game and were hit in the head with foul balls multiple times. It's truly the best/worst voice I've ever heard in animation. And JG does a spot-on impression.

SATARD 1. - Kane is a Satard. It's not quite Satan, and it's not quite a retard, but, oh man... *trails off*

SCHWARTZ BRﾜDER 1. ・The Mysterious JG's personal icon on the index page. A G-Gundam character veiled in mystery. He seems to position himself as Domon's rival, but always bails the shrieking psychopath out of trouble when the kid's "Super mode" blows a gasket. "Super mode" is a big phrase for Schwartz, as he likes to taunt Domon when it doesn't work. There's an episode called "Domon's Heartful Attack, Schwartz Rests In Grace," and oddly enough, Schwartz's name doesn't show up in many episode titles after that.

SERENITY 1. - Joey Wheeler's sister Serenity was blind and needed an operation by some expert from The World of Eyes and Joey was gonna win some monster/dueling/cards/whatever tournament to get the money to pay for it. And while there's no goddamned way Joey won, I guess Yugi must have given him the money anyway because Serenity has been able to see just fine for several seasons now, I'm sure. But The Hanging Out Gang still loves riding around Ohio yelling "I GOTTA DO IT FOR SERENITY OVAH HEAH" and "HEY SERENITY YOU CAN't SEE ME!" And of course Serenity was very useful during the "Blind Nidia" angle.
2. - Usagi/Sailor Moon was Princess Serenity in her past life on the Moon and is destined to rule the Earth as Neo Queen Serenity in the future. So・tart stockpiling guns and ammo for the revolution. The dub changed Princess Serenity to Princess Serena but decided to keep Neo Queen Serenity because they're fucking stupid.

SEXAYNESS 1. - Similar to sexyness, but with an A. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman frequently no-sold the sexayness of Dawn Marie.

SHAME ON YOU, CHRIS BENOIT 1. - One of the best moments in the history of our great sport. Benoit had been allied with the Guerreros for several weeks, but a wacky-mismatched partners storyline sees him teamed with Kurt Angle and holding the tag titles. Chris gets jumped in a darkened room before a big defense against Los Guerreros. Benoit, who knows full damned well that Eddie did it, confronts Eddie and Chavo in the dressing room. He knows Eddie did it. WE know Eddie did it. But Eddie delivers a fucking beautiful, emotional speech about how close he and Benoit are, and how Benoit was there for him during his dark days, and how it hurts his very soul that Chris would stop believing in him like that. And then Eddie puts his head on Chavo's shoulder and starts CRYING. And Chavo strokes Eddie's hair, and says "shh, there there Eddie, shh," and then turns to Benoit. Chavo (who, of course, knows Eddie did it) then says, "Shame on you, Chris Benoit" in the whitest voice imaginable. Oh, and Benoit somehow ended up ranked #500 on the first WV500, so "Shame on you, Chris Benoit" ended up there the next time around.

SHERIFF PONY 1. - AMW member James Storm. See SPRING INTO ACTION!

A SHOCKING AND VULGAR ACT OF RUDENESS 1. - This one time, Lord Alfred Hayes was going to violate his own personal code of conduct by passing through the threshold of a door on which he had not, in fact, knocked. This departure from the norms of lordly behavior was met by the door being slammed in the late Alfred's face. He declared it to be "A shocking and vulgar act of rudeness." For whatever reason I am madly in love with this moment.

SHU 1. - The most polite kingdom in history, Shu are the unwavering babyfaces of Dynasty Warriors/Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Their color is green (making Sailor Jupiter their third favorite Scout) and their pageantry animal is the dragon. Their leader, Liu Bei, is the only competitor for the title of Emperor with a legitimate claim, as his ex-roomate's sister used to date the guy who helped a former Han Emperor get an illegal pass on his car's state inspection. He won over his sworn brothers with his commitment to excellence (Guan Yu) and his hooch (Zhang Fei.) Then he visited Zhuge Liang three times trying to return the wallet he left at the oversized fan store. Zhuge and Sima Yi should TEAM UP and becomes "The Twinkle Ticklers." Virtuous, righteous Liu Bei eventually launched an unprovoked attack on his own family to take over their lands, but hey, at least he felt bad about it. I got Shu when The Hangin・Out Gang claimed allegiances to ancient defunct Chinese kingdoms because I hated them the least. The Scouts went on to cosplay as Shu in getting whooped by the Bashams.

SHUCKY DUCKY, QUACK QUACK, QUACK QUACK 1. - Theodore Long said this for no reason while basking in The Reflection of Perfection's SEXAYNESS.

SHUFFLE THE FUCK UP 1. - What David Cross was unable to force that boring guy to say during Celebrity Poker Showdown.

SHUFFLYFEET 1. - The little footsies dance Chris Jericho does prior to his running rope charge.

SIDECARS 1. ・The first bit of comedy I ever contributed to the site. During John Cena's the-champ-is-not-yet-here days, he was hanging around with the Undertaker to mooch overness from him. At the time, UT was still doing his "American Badass" thing where he rode a motorcycle to the ring. As such, I suggested John Cena should get a little sidecar so he could ride to the ring alongside him.

SIX SIDES HOW COOL 1. - The number of sides possessed by a TNA ring. SIX IS BETTER THAN FOUR, MATH MAJORS

THE SKI LODGE ONE 1. - There's really only about six episodes of Sailor Moon in which Chad gets a speaking part. The one set at a ski lodge is probably my favorite, so that's what I'm talking about if I mention "The ski lodge one." When rebeaking a particularly boring RAW, I started babbling about Rei calling Yuichirou "Yuichirou... san" instead of just "Yuichirou" about three times.

SLATER VAIN 1. - There once was a jobber named Vinny Valentino, whose Italianity caused me to rip off an old In Living Color bit, as is my wont. He spearheaded my "Put An Adjective On Your Panties" initiative by proclaiming his underpants "VAIN". Then he changed his name to Slater Vain because he looked vaguely like the Saved By The Bell character and started hailing from Bayside, California and it was the greatest gimmick ever devised. It got him a one-shot appearance as a fake police officer on RAW, as well as a developmental contract. Officer Vain can currently be seen tearing shit up in Ohio Valley under the name "Brent Albright," which is so totally fake. He is known as "The Shooter" on account of that one episode where Slater brought a gun to school and shot up everybody at The Maxx. He's also OVW's Television Champion, which is ironic because OVW can only be seen in one tiny African village with no electricity. That's like Weekly Visitor having an Internet Champion. In conclusion, Boobermonkeys is close, personal Internet friends with Slater Vain. He knows people. The MNM of Bayside High. Just him, Screech, and Kelly Kapowski in furry coats. She can do the splits because she's on the cheerleading squad. You would think I'd have stopped typing by now, but no.

SMACKTOWN 1. - This is what Vince McMahon once called Smackdown because he's an old retard who shreds his groin trying to do a triple somersault into the ring.

SOLOMON GRUNDY WANT PANTS TOO 1. - Don't you people watch Cartoon Network? They did this ad mocking the Legion of Doom from the old Superfriends cartoon. Luthor was trying to focus the Legion, but they kept jumping in and interrupting with their problems. Braniac wanted a pair of pants. Solomon Grundy proceeded to yell that 鉄olomon Grundy want pants too!・

SPACE INVADERS 1. - Not born of this world, the Space Invaders consist of Planet Jarrett, Anally-Probed Gail Kim, Space Cowboy James Storm, and Wildtarg Chris Harris. They compose the Death Star Core of the new face of TNA, because I like to make stupid sci-fi nerd jokes like the one I just made about a fucking Klingon pig. Junior members of the Space Invaders include Space Coach Scott D'Amore and his crack team of Canada Academy graduates (RED SQUAD RED SQUAD AHH AHH AHHHH), stupid Abyss and the stupid Minister who is probably Bajoran and therefore stupid, and now Monty Brown, who hails from the African planet from that one fucked-up episode of TNG where Tasha Yar puts a poisonous mace on her hand and dukes it out with some Zambian princess. The Invaders are known to have solemn funerals where they drape the American flag over your casket, eject it into space, and then LOL about it. They throw their beer bottles wherever the fuck they want because it pisses The Planeteers off. Sometimes hippies come up and chide them by saying "WE'VE ONLY GOT ONE WORLD, MAAAAN!" but then AMW say "Yeah, maybe you do!" and high-five.

SPAAAACE... RETAAAARDS! 1. - Filmcans' friend Dr. Julian Bashir from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine was borderline retarded as a child, so his father (Babu from Seinfeld) said "YOU ARE VERY, VERY BAD SON!" and had illegal genetic engineering conducted in order to make The Bash Man a super-smart Indian doctor mans who could beat Irish people at darts. Later in life, Julian respects his Hippocratic Code by trying to help some fellow DNA guinea pigs who didn't take to the procedure so well, becoming Rainman-esque in their high-IQ retardation. There's Twitchy, Too Much Coffee Man who's always going "HMM, HMM, HMM?", there's Nympho Who Is Always Trying To Do You, there's Fat, Elderly Man-Child, and there's Waifish Mute Girl To Whom Chris Harris Gave The Catatonic. That's the one I have a crush on. They are the Space Retards, and the only way they could be relevant to anything ever is if Sonjay Dutt formed a stable consisting of Simon Diamond, Dawn Marie, Pops Demott, and, I dunno... Carla. And then they tried to get Jeff Jarrett to concede defeat in his futile war because THE NUMBERS, MY GOD, THE NUMBERS.

SPIDERBABIES IN PINK HATS 1. - The offspring of Stevie and Victoria, naturally. God, you're so retarded.
2. ・Spiderbabies not specifically in pink hats are mentioned in the first episode of the surrealist Irish comedy "Father Ted." The childlike Father Doughal gets all excited about going to see the spiderbaby at the fair. It's supposedly a creature with the body of a spider, but the mind of a baby, and "it wouldn't bite ya." When asked how he knows it isn't just a normal spider, he says, "uh...they keep it in a pram." Prams are like cribs. Then he's asked if he's sure he didn't just dream up the whole thing. "No," he says. "No no no. Oh wait, it was a dream, yeah."

SPOONY BARD 1. - Final Fantasy (2/geez, uh, 5 in Japan?) character Tellah, the kick-ass wizard who busted out METEO less than halfway through the game, lost his beloved daughter due to her useless fuck-up love-interest Edgar. Tellah thus tried to kill Edgar, the bitch-ass minstrel who is almost certainly the worst playable in FF history. Oh, and he called him a "Spoony bard!" See BARDSHAW.

SPOPPZOR 1. - Any variation on that means "To spoil" in the sense of "OMG SPOILERS I'm giving away the ending." I don't know why we spell it that way, if there's a specific joke, whatever. I do know I personally find it hilarious when sites like 411 post "Possible spoilers" of live events that haven't happened yet.
2. ・Also: "SPOP:ER". Just one of the Big Three misspellings, along with "illegel" and "horable".

SPRING INTO ACTION! 1. - Heroic catchphrase of SHERIFF PONY and TOPATO from Wigu's "Magical Adventures In Space." Their respective alter-egos are the mild-mannered James Storm and Chris Harris. Who get falling-down drunk and urinate into caskets in mild-mannered fashion.

SPUNKACIDER 1. - On one of the Velocities hosted by Tazz and Josh, Tazz found himself trying to define the term "Flash in the pan." He came up with, "A flash in the pan is like a spunkacider." So... I guess a spunkacider is like a flash in the pan.

SQUIRT 1. - Kurt Angle was once given the nickname "Squirt Angle" in a rebeak. At the time Angle was "Raping big show of his dignity" and moaning with delight while doing so, which only added to the creepiness of the name. As such, variations on the word "Squirt" often signal the arrival of Kurt Angle.
2. - Not bad, but I think you meant to say, "variations on the word 'squirt' often signal that Kurt Angle is coming."

STANK 1. - Mark Henry puts his stank on white women in order to Mark (zing!) his territory. It makes them smell gooooooood. Perhaps he will one day put The Stank on...

STARFIRE 1. ・One of the Teen Titans. She's the chipper Tamaranian immigrant girl who can't quite grasp how and when one uses the word "The." You could drop her right into the Sailor Moon TV show and no one would make much fuss, which may be why JG decided she'd make a great co-host for Chad when cartoon idiots take over Experience. TNM later promoted her to hosting RAW with Jonathan Coachman. She may never be mentioned again, actually. But she was the joke-de-jour when I started this thing. Damn it.
2. ・I can't for the life of me come up with a WV term that falls alphabetically between "Stank" and "Starfire."

THE STUPID 1. - When you go off the top turnbuckle for a flying move that wasn't going to hit even if your opponent hadn't dodged, that's THE STUPID. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore. A New Zealander man with a really nice tan, that's a Maori.

SUBLIMELY MAGNIFICENT JECHT SHOT #3 1. - Alternate, better name for THE BARREL ROLL, which is a nickname for Spanky's finisher, "Sliced Bread #2." It's from Final Fantasy X. The only connection between the two moves is that they have ・something・in their names. You may want to stop now. TIDUS's possibly dead daddy Jecht was the greatest underwater soccer player of all time in Zanarkand (a city known for its underwater soccer and its abstraction from reality.) His sublimely magnificent third shot involved kicking the ball so it bounced off some hapless defender's face, then punching it (the rebounding ball) into another defender's face, and then kicking it (again, the ball, not someone's face) into the goal. In order for Young Master Tidus to learn the shot, he has to win a retarded subgame in which he imagines Jecht making fun of him as he practices. If you win, you get a special shot to use that takes forever to set up and almost always makes time run out before it scores. In a different subgame you're only obligated to play once whose result does not significantly affect the story. Win, lose, or draw, YUNA interrupts Tidus and tells him about her mysterious meeting with Jecht. They chat about how Jecht named the move to give the fans something to get excited about, and how versions 1 and 2 don't even exist and Jecht just wanted people to keep attending games in the hopes of seeing them. Tidus is still angry at his old man, whom Yuna has only fond memories of. She seems fascinated by his wanky teenage poutiness. It's the first big bonding moment Yuna and Tidus have that doesn't end with Wakka going over to Tidus and saying, "Hey, she's like a little sister to me, so you best not be thinkin' 'bout tapping dat sweet summoner ass, ya?・

THE SUN BABY 1. - I'm not sure I understand this one. Ok, so, you ever seen Teletubbies? The Sun is this glowing baby face that laughs with delight at their antics, then says "AGAIN" and forces them to re-enact their hilarity or face fiery death. At some point, I believe Sofa decided Raven looked like the Sun Baby.
2. - I think Nik was of the opinion that Brok Lesnar looked like the Sun Baby, as well.
3. - Raven came to be the Sun Baby after Sofa had a dream where Raven's gigantic head was floating in the sky as the Orwellian/Alan Parsons-ish Eye in the Sky.

THE SUN FAMILY 1. ・The Kingdom of Wu was ruled by the Sun Family, and their belief in the values of family and the home and shit makes them consummate "Red state" voters. They are Sun Jian (Spike from Cowboy Beebop,) his son Sun Ce (whose "cocky youngster" gimmick makes him a less hateful version of Randy Orton,) Jian's other son Sun Quan (who is invincible when you fight against him but gets his dumb ass killed the second you take your eyes off him if you're playing as one of his subordinates,) and Jian's only daughter Sun Shang Xiang (she is Sun Shang Xiang, and this is her dueling tutorial.) When Juan takes over, he marries Shang Xiang to Liu Bei but IT'S A TRAAAAP and the game plot has to divert away from history to avoid depressing us with the lovers tragic separation and Shang Xiang's death by suicide. Yeah, it's all about family. What an asshole. Auctioning off your sister's vagina for political gain, DEM'S FAMILY VALUES! The Sun Family is known for their pride, and for the fact that they all share the first name Sun. Silly Chinamen, your last name is the family name!

SWAGGERING 1. - We were all quite fond of mocking Vince McMahon's exaggerated "power-walk" (Sofa's "it's Vince McMahon, and the size of his swagger has reached critical mass" being a personal fave) even before he managed to somehow injure himself walking to the ring at the 2005 Royal Rumble.

SWEET TEA 1. - While announcing Heat, Todd Grisham once offered to "sit back and have a s... sweet tea" when Coach was trying to illustrate some retarded point to him. I still don't know why it was funny, but it was. Probably the stutter. Take notes, Matt Morgan.
2. - I realized that Todd actually said this to Al Snow, which makes it about 33% less funny. Such is the way of Al Snow.

TAPPING ONE'S HEAD TO INDICATE INTELLIGENCE 1. - Pretty self-explanatory, but I thought I'd throw it in here since our readers are so very retarded. This is when a wrestler gestures at his skull to warn us of the many large brains that lurk within. May also indicate: grease, headlice, baldness.

TESTONIA 1. - Just read this. Scroll past the Just Joe tidbits if you're really in a hurry, though those are good too.

THANKS, JESUS! 1. - Sabu is clearly giving bigs ups to the Lord when he points to the heavens.

THERE WAS NO MONSTER 1. - another reference to Mystery Science Theater 3000. While most fans of the show enjoy the relatively coherant and watchable movies that the boys mock (like say Pod People, Time Chasers, or even something like Mitchell) I go for the ones that are mind-numbingly bad and make no sense (Castle of Fu Manchu, Robot Holocaust, Mighty Jack, etc.) Chief amongst the just God-awful films is Monster a Go-Go, in which we spend the whole film following the authorities investigation of this mutated astronaut named "Douglas" who has become a monster. We only even see it like twice, but we do see it. And as these guys in radiation suits wander a dark hallway with only a few minutes left in the show, the narrator jumps in with "Suddenly there was no trail. There was no giant, no monster, no thing called 'Douglas' to be followed." And it goes on for a bit about the courage of the searchers and how Douglas turns out to have landed somewhere else and is fine and blah blah blah. And then the film just ends. We don't even get a scene of the characters discussing it. The actual line isn't "there was no monster," but it tends to be quoted as "there was no monster" anyway. I like using "suddenly there was no" in front of any noun that isn't present and pretending that somehow makes the absense of said-thing funny. Monster a Go-Go was one of the few films Joel and the Bots openly booed.

THERE'S A FUNKY NEW SMELL COMING TO TOWN 1. - The tagline from some Stink Blasters toy that JG saw a commercial for during Heat. It now refers to Coach's entrance music, because those lyrics are indecipherable.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN BATMAN... 1. - So Batman's chasing The Penguin through this aviary, right? And he gets attacked by these hummingbirds who had their little noses dipped in poison, right? So he grabs a fucking garden hose or something and sprays them with water. But then he gets attacked by a CASSOWARY, which is like a giant, mutated ostrich/turkey from New Zealand or someplace. So he picks up one of the downed hummingbirds and uses it to STAB THE MOTHERFUCKER IN THE FOOT! Later, Killer Croc threw a rock at him. It was a big rock.

TICK TOCK TICK 1. - A lyric from the first version of the YuYu Hakusho closing credit theme that Sofa and I always repeated to each on AIM. It may never have formally appeared on WV, come to think of it. Pretend this isn't here.

TIDUS 1. - Is it pronounced Tye-dus or Tee-dus, wonder the fags at Gamefags? Tye-dus, obviously. Tidus is the protagonist of Final Fantasy X. Mideon seemed a little annoyed at the lengths I went to in delineating Yuna's role as heroine of X and protagonist/heroine of X2. Tidus and Yuna fall in love, but then whiny, bitchy Tidus has to pull his shit together and be a hero at the end, sacrificing himself (SPOPPZORZ) sorta kinda to save the world. The ending includes a sad scene of Yuna whispering that she loves him as he fades away, and I've been known to reimagine the scene as Yuna whispering her love for Sean O'haire as well as Sofa whispering his love for Carlito. Tidus is also noted for not being as good at underwater soccer as his possibly dead daddy.

TNM WINS AGAIN! 1. - I used to win a lot. At the vidya games. Now, not so much.

TOPATO 1. - AMW member Chris Harris. Made of poison. See SPRING INTO ACTION!

TRAAAAPS 1. - See ADMIRAL ACKBAR.

THE TRAVELER 1. - There was a recurring character in Wesley Crusher episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation who was some sort of interdimensional being known as "The Traveler." He was really creepy and he seemed to have some kind of man/boy love thing for Wesley, whom he eventually eloped with. I'm serious.

TROQ 1. - An intergalactic racial slur for denizens of the planet Tamaran. It was used against STARFIRE by Captain Courageous or whoever the hell in a very "afterschool special" episode of Teen Titans. Cyborg felt her pain, because he is a black robot. Or, as I like to call him, a "Bro-Bot!" In recent years, Tamaranians have made this term their own, using it to further a message of empowerment that can be evidenced in Blaqfire's popular rap song, "Where Are All My Troqs At?" Then she sings about being "The Cop-Killer." This was a horrible entry and you should try to unread it if at all possible.
2. ・Since I can't make humor of my own, I'd like to remind everyone that Cyborg said he knew what prejudice is like specifically because he's "half-robot." I've taken since to using "half-robot" and "Black" interchangably.

TRUE STORY 1. - A story that is entirely false.

THE TWO-MAN POWER TRIP 1. ・Collective term for The Next Mideon and myself. At one point when Sofa was out of the country and Jon Hunt presumably lacked the tools he needs to rebeak (access to televised Lucha or the random urge to rebeak some puro tape,) Mideon and I were the only two staffers updating with any regularity. We called ourselves the Two-Man Power Trip after the surprisingly good angle in which Triple H and HEEL Stone Cold went around being massive dicks and collectively holding all the titles. It really was pretty good. Because they had to feud with and occasionally put over people other than each other, for one thing.

TWO TRIPS IN A TRUNK 1. - Johnny Stamboli once plotted to smuggle himself across the Canadian border or something by hiding a trunk. Nunzio protested that he was too large to fit in said trunk, prompting Johnny to reply that he would simply make two trips. It was really, really stupid, and that's why I reference it.

TYSON DUX 1. - A spastic jobber on Velocity who danced like a complete retard. He had big buck teeth and his panties said "Textbook" on them, but it was all about the dancing. Tazz called him "Crazy Dancing Boy" and "Psycho." Tazz and Josh went insane watching him, and he was clearly more talented than the proverbial browning apple. Tyson Dux's shin was completely crushed by Mark Jindrak. Or maybe it was Matt Morgan. Whoever it was, we hate them.

UNCONTROLLABLE BLACKIE FROM AFRICA!!! 1. - What Monty Brown is. Some charitable organization must have care-packaged him some thesauruseseses in his youth. Christian Cage Outreach.

UNNECESSARILY CELEBRATORY VERTICAL SUPLEX 1. - Sometimes shortened to UCVS. Part of Steven Richards' arsenal from the Stevie Night Heat era. He would freak out like a spaz and be all "OH YEAH IT'S OVER!!!" prior to performing a basic vertical suplex. Frequent use of this eventually taught me to spell the word "unnecessarily" right without having to spellcheck. I hope.

VERY GOOD, MUHAMMAD! 1. - Perhaps the most adorable of all Daivari quotes. I like to pay homage to the memory of Hassan and Daivari by singing the lyrics to songs out loud and then adding ", Muhammad!" Seriously, go Christmas caroling and try it. You'll be the most popular kid on the block. All is calm, Muhammad! All is bright, Muhammad!

VINCE MCMAHON'S PRIEST 1. ・Shortly before his big Buried Alive match with the Undertaker, Vince McMahon hired a priest to pray with him. Well, I guess he didn't hire the guy, but whatever. Said priest was an awful performer, even by the low standards of WWE backstage skit characters. Though Vince kept interrupting him with wacky ranting, the priest did manage to get a few lines into the Our Father, and continuously pronounced "Hallowed" as... I forget. He was totally wrong, though. This was either the week before or the week after Vince told us he pooped himself while dreaming about the Undertaker.

VINNY VALENTINO OVAH HEAH 1. - See SLATER VAIN. He's so vain. He probably thinks this entry's about him. Don't him?

WACKY FLUTES 1. - Test's old theme music used to have these kinda woodwinds, possibly flutes playing in the background. The version of his theme music where some completely unintelligible guy was singing. Mideo and Sofa referred to them as WACKY FLUTES. Always in ALL-CAPS. WACKY FLUTES is the national anthem of Testonia. I love Testonia.

WATER ON THE KNEE 1. - Any half-boston crab. It was Lance Storm's finisher when he suggested on his website some dumb contest to name it, and I half-assedly thought of "Water On The Knee" because Storms involve water and the move involves knees and I'm a big fan of Operation, The Wacky Game Of Malpractice. Kerwin White's half-crab is BOTTLED WATER ON THE KNEE because, what, you expect him to drink from the tap like a common wetback? *whacks you with his hanger*

WE BE INVESTIGATED BY THE MI5 1. - One of the lyrics from Coach's insane entrance music about how he pulled off a heist with some rappers from Great Britain. Some of his friends sell CON-DUMBS, some of his friends smuggle plums.

WE SWEEP TOGETHER, EVERY NIGHT 1. - The Street Sweepers do this in a purely non-sexual manner. Roddy Piper made it dirty because he has fantasies about men shoving push-brooms up each others' asses. I believe Test put it best when he said "FAGGOT IN A SKIRT"

WEE 1. - JG's incredibly clever and funny term for the WWE that he used every single time he needed to refer to the WWE for about a year after that retarded panda lawsuit. I guess I just couldn't accept that it wasn't going to be overturned at some point.
2. - Also a comical typo that makes us think of urination, as in that time when Jon told the messageboard he was "going to Florida for a wee."

WEI 1. - The cool, badass heels of Dynasty Warriors/Romance of the Three Kingdoms who are cool precisely because they don't care if you think they're cool or not. Their color is this purply-blue (cool, oh, and that makes their third favorite scout Mercury or Saturn, your choice) and the official animal of their pageantry is a phoenix or something but they don't give a shit about pageantry when they could be cutting your goddamned face off. I think they're heels because when they say they wanna conquer China, they don't add some lame excuse like "Cause of virtue and stuff" or "For the glory of family," they just go out and beat the shit out of everybody who isn't doing things The Wei Way. Wei tends to have tons of good soldiers but always falls for the cheap tricks those "Virtuous" armies use, like having Pang Tong, Rob Conway and Wu Fanchu double cross them in the middle of a battle. Their seat of power is The Cao Palace. Big Moovers and shakers all. They're also the only kingdom who only has one woman nonsensically leading infantry units in huge, pitched battles. And Mulan she ain't. Sofa got Wei when The Hangin' Out Gang divided the kingdoms between three because he's the boss, applesauce.

WEIRD MEAN 1. - What Sean O'Haire is, according to Josh Mathews.
2. ・Josh thought Sean was the kind of big kid who would force other kids to eat spiders. I've heard of doing that with bugs, but somehow, doing it with spiders is a little meaner and a lot weirder.

WET WEASEL 1. - Mr. Perfect once poured a pitcher of water on Bobby "The Brain" Heenan's head and screamed "WET WEASEL" while laughing like a goddamned maniac.

WHAT'S GOING ON, HOLMES? 1. - An Eddie Guerrero quotation, obviously. He shouted this to the world in general as Smackdown faded to commercials at the end of the highly-confused Billy and Chuck wedding fallout.

THE WORLD OF EYES 1. ・This goes back to Demott and Josh arguing on Velocity about whether Nidia was really blind during the "Jamie Noble uses blind Nidia as a foreign object to win matches・angle. Demott apparently asked Josh really specific, medical-type questions about blindness. Josh answered: "I'm not a gynecologist, an eye doctor! I don't know what goes on in the world of eyes!"
2. - For a long time, I thought The World of Eyes referred to what was going on in Victoria's old entrance video where that hand has an eye in its palm.

WU 1. - Last, and certainly least of the three kingdoms from the Dynasty Warriors/Romance of the Three Kingdoms games, in my view. Ruled by THE SUN FAMILY. Their color is red (making Sailor Mars their third favorite scout) and the official animal of their pageantry is the tiger. This leads to Sun Jian yelling "Fear the tiger of Jiang Dong" a lot, which is funny because the word "Dong" is in it. Wu are supposed to be faces, or maybe they're supposed to be tweeners, I dunno. They cheat like mofos with fire-attacks and shit in pretty much every battle, and their leaders have a tendency to die all over the place on them. Their hook is that they're all young and spunky, so if they were a tag team, they'd be Strike Force or High Energy or some other unspeakably lame face duo. Another big drawback of Wu is that their puns suck. No gimmies like "There was an old woman who lived in a Shu" or Michael Cole screaming "Not this Wei!" I guess you could make Ric Flair scream, "WU! WU!" But, I can't see Ric supporting those cocky, disrespectful youngsters. From 200 AD. Mideon picked Shu when The Hangin・Out Gang picked kingdoms for God knows what reason. The Bashams played the role of Wu in that retarded postscript I wrote to BASHAMS vs CHERRY HILL POSSE.
2. - In the immortal words of Jesus, who was the Zhou Tai to Carlito's Sun Quan, "You are stupid." First of all, Gan Ning and Zhou Tai are pirates, and if I have to explain to anyone here why pirates are awesome, I want them to leave this website right now. Zhou Tai's fourth costume includes a fucking Sauron helmet. Sun Quan has the best beard in Earth History and gives Austin Aries something to aspire to. Sun Ce gets into a fight with some ghosts, which pretty much cements him as Randy Orton. LOOK OUT SUN JIAN YOU GOTS BLOOD ON YO' HEAD. And that cutscene prior to Wu's final battle is the best one in the game. Zhou Tai's cutting a katana swath up the mountain so that he might get in your base and kill all your dewds and all Sun Quan's kinfolk (Pookie, Rey-Rey, Shaniqua's Baby Daddy) are dead and he's on his horse tearing ass in Zhou Tai's wake all like "MY BEARD WILL CARRY ON THE LEGACY OF THE SUN FAMILY." Even Lu Xun stops being a fag for about five seconds. And who do you have, Zhuge Liang's equally faggy apprentice, Maven's dad, a ninety-year old man, and a six-year old girl? Squirrel, plz. In conclusion, Gan Ning used to have a ship full of sweet bitches and you could tell he was banging their brains out by the ringing of his delightful jingle bells. AWWWWWW, THAT'S MAH DAWWWG. Frankly, I don't even know why he wanted you to hang out with him. GOOD DAY, SIR.

WWF 1. - The World Wildlife Federation, of course. I'm not sure why wrestling fans are always talking about that acronym, but there you go.

WWFHOTGIRL69 1. - A forum poster who really annoyed everyone, especially nik. Basically, she just posted to tell us how HOTT she found some of the wrestlers, and at some point she called nik "A nazi" for some reason. Hey, I don't like nik's take on Randy Savage either, but she's not a Nazi. Anyway, WWFHOTGIRL69 recapped RAW and sent it to Hooker once, and he posted it with editorial comments. It wasn't very good. I liked pretending her name was WWFHOTGRILL69