My longtime life-partner "Just" Joe was recently released from the World Wrestling Federation. Now he works down at the docks capturing clams for 10 cents each. While not as glamorous as you might think, this occupation allows "Just" Joe to tap into the pulse of the wrestling world. Because he loves you, and because I gave him five dollars, "Just" Joe has given me the following saucy rumors to relate! He heard them from sailors and prostitutes!!!

-If Jerry Lynn were in a stable, it'd be the M.I.A.! Ha-cha-cha!

-Dey call Jerry Lynn "Who Dat", 'cuz when he get in da ring it like "...Who Dat?" Oh, somebody stop me!

-The boys in the back are saying that Chris Kanyon won't play Monopoly with them unless he gets to be the thimble. Goddamn baby.

-One fat Oklahoman source reports that Steve Austin has come down with a case of the "limber tail". A little salve should clear that right up.

-Raven's got a Koosh ball fetish.

-Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson have both been "fitness models". Or to put it another way, "whores".

-Rumor has it that Kane sleeps with a nightlight!

-I heard that Buh-Buh Ray Dudley refuses to drink Paul Heyman's Kool-Aid unless it's flavored Rockadile Red.

-Diamond Dallas Page lives in a small cardboard box! Seriously, he does.

-Faarooq has a pet piglet. Awwww!

-Through 10 editions of "Just" the Facts, "Just" Joe has never come up with any dirt on Scotty 2 Hotty. He must be the freaking Dalai Lama or somebody.

-This just in! Scotty 2 Hotty sells human babies for drug money!!!

-The Next

-Mideon

-stretches one

-rumor

-into two

-or more

-rumors

-in order to

-cheat you

-out of

-additional conten

-t

You get no extra segment this week, because YEW DUNN A BAYD THANG. Yes you, over there.

Actually, I think I'll just stretch this "joke" out a little more and call it a segment. Because stretching totally rules!

-There'll be

-no new segment

-for you,

-Friend,

-because "Just"

-Joe

-told me

-that he saw

-you

-sexing

-a

-camel