It's that time again! Grab your Maw, strap her to the roof of the pickup, and head on out to scenic Butte, Montana for MECECEWMWCE's Beaver Fever 2002! It's going to be the finest gathering of athletes, drunks, and drug addicts ever collected in a dilapidated shack at any one given time! And that's saying A LOT!!!
But it's not just a wrestling extravaganza! Heavens, no! We've got fun and games! Rides! Prizes! Meet your favorite third-rate WWE superstars and unemployed derelicts! Listen to one of their lectures and maybe you'll better yourself, you mouth-breathing welfare recipient! Learn a trade that doesn't involve shoveling roadkill off of the interstate!
Truly, this is the quintessential sports entertainment exhibition! QUINTESSENTIAL! You probably don't even know what that means, do you?! I don't either! Why go to some nerd convention with fat guys in Darth Vader masks when you could come to OUR convention with fat guys in Ultimo Dragon masks?! So join your world-traveling ringmaster, "Just" Joe, starting at noon on Friday, May 17, 2002! The calendar says it's "Shavuot", but that's probably just some made-up Jewish crap! It's really BEAVER FEVER DAY!!!