What is it with me reading the reactions to PPVs and going completely blind and insane with rage? "What the hell is wrong with the WWF? HHH should have won, and the NWO should have single handedly destroyed every WWF wrestler, and why did the APA win?" Had the opposite happened, we would hear "That's one more example of HHH holding people down, and the same with Nash, Hall and Hogan. IT'S ALL POLITICS! PEYTON TO MARVIN! And the Hardyz won the tag match!?!?! We've seen it before!" So, what I'm essentially saying is I hate each and every one of you. Yes, i feel so confident in this hate that I am goign to make a broad statement like that. Why the anger? Simple. Sunday afternoon was a horrible time for wrestling, and it was made up for by a decent PPV.

There have been quite a few dark days in wrestling (Jericho and those fucking PLanet of the Apes monkeys comes to mind), but few quite as sad as this. It is the end of an era. Kind of like how when WCW got sold, it was the end of shitty wrestling on a national level. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, FMW is shutting down, and new Jack may be retiring. While both of these thigns have yet to officially happen, I read about them both Sunday afternoon on a wrestling website, and we all know ho trustworthy those are (Goldberg & Bret hart come back with NWO!!! TONIGHT!!!). Apparently, nobody wants to see FMW without Hayabusa (or Mr. Gannosuke now, thank you very much Vic Grimes), despite their absolutely amazing roster (Kanemura, Onryu, Dr. Luther, Biomonster DNfuckingA!), and they feel that they have no choice but shut down. New Jack has apparently been informed by doctors that falling off of things and getting hit in the head with Nintendos isn't healthy. Fucking doctors. To be honest, I usually see new jack hitting other people with shit, rather than the other way around. I guess it happens, though. Anyway, this sad day would seem to be a grand oppurtunity to look back at God's gift of Garbage Wrestling, with my 10 favorite Garbage Wrestling moments of all time.

First, a definition. "Eviljonhunt81," you may be saying. "WHAT?!" I would reply, before getting my teeth kicked in by myself, somehow. "What exactly is Garbage Wrestling," you finish. That is a smashing question. It is also a difficult one. For my purposes, Garbage Wrestling is any match which involves fair use of a lot of crap laying around, any match that takes place away from a wrestling ring, or any match in which the ring is going to explode or full of tables. Anyway, let's just get on with it.

#10: The Big Japan Grocery Store Death Match. Simply an amazing match. I rebeaked it here, but it has millions of typos. Regardless, this stands as one of professional wrestling's greatest moments.

#9: The Scaffold Death Match between Tommy Dreamer and Brian Lee. I'm not sure when this was from, but it's and ECW match from, I dunno, 5 years ago. The thing was, the ring was full of tables, and the two guys had to climb up on a scaffold above the ring, and the loser was the guy that got knocked off. It was amazing. Nothing really happened, as they both had to fight to not fall of due to the constant swinging of the scaffold. Honestly, I don't even remember who won. Let's say Dreamer. Whoever it was, they finally used The Power of the Punch, and the other guy fell down and rolled off. You know, I bet Brian Lee won, as Dreamer would be a more likely candidate for falling through 3 or 4 tables. I dunno. Either way, it ruled.

#8: Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas from some old ECW PPV. Let's say Cyberslam. This was a cage match, and at the end was one of the most amazing spots I've ever seen. Public Enemy set up two stacks of two tables right next to one another, and I think New jack was laying on top of them. I'm not sure. It might have been the other Gangsta. Mustafa? Anyway, one of Public Enemy goes up for a moonsault from the top of the cage, and New Jack moves! It was amazing. Jesus. When I saw it, I yelled loud as hell. Seek this clip out.

#7: The Hardcore Title Match from Wrestlemania X-7. That was so cool when Raven got thrown through the glass. And when Big Show burst through the wall. OH YEAH! hehe.

#6: Mr. Pogo lighting Atsushi Onita's head on fire. I think it was Onita. Regardless, it was sick. He took some lighter fluid, so he could do his standard fire breathing spot, but then he poured it all over Onita, and then blew the fire at him. Christ. You kow, Mr. Pogo really does rule. In fact, I'm gonna make #5: Mr. Pogo cutting people with his scythe. That's just so cool. There ain't really much more to say about it, so let's move on.

#4: People falling off of stuff and through tables. I'm referring to stuff like New Jack's "Balcony Dive," and other moves which involve falling from a story or two and landing on someone lying on a table. Jumping doesn't count. I prefer falling. falling through the ring is cool, but that usually happens in normal matches where they want to get the Big Show over, or something.

#3: Sabu vs. Terry Funk Barbwire Match. This match ruled. In the end, the two are all tangled up together in barbed wire. Oh yeah, this is the match where Sabu cuts his bicep real bad, and you can see him ask Fonzie for help, and he brings him some glue and tape. You can also hear Funk say something like "I don't give a shit" when told what is going on. This fucking rules.

#2: Halftime Heat from 1998 or so. The Mankind vs. Rock empty arena match. That ruled. It was so stupid, and the finish was great. Mankind pinned the Rock using a forklift, and as it was lowering towards him, the camera changed so that it was from the POV of the forklift thingys, and Rock was laying there squirming around and stuff. Hilarious.

#1: IWA Big Public Bath House Death Match. Quite simply one of the best matches of all time. The Headhunters vs. Tarzan Goto and . . . Mr. Gannosuke? I don't remember. Regardless, it is awesome. Two guys fight throughout the bath house, while the other two have to wait in these tubs in one room, until the get tagged. When Goto and one of the Headhunters are in the tub, they start splashing each other. Boobies galore in this match. And it has one of my favorite lines from wrestling. Headhunter A (or B) is in the tub, and he says "C'mon Headhunter B (or A)." I nearly died when I heard that. THEY CALL EACH OTHER A AND B!! Nevermind. The match ends in a parking lot, for some reason. This is easily one of the best matches of all time

Well, that helped. However, I don't think anything will fill the pain that the absence of FMW and New Jack will cause. Nonetheless, I must carry on, for each day is a new day, and the sun will rise tomorrow.