Ah. It has been awhile since I last had a column. And since we now have Beaking News, my inside tips are useless. I was planning on reviewing a tape for this column, but just like Mr. Tito, I'm a moron and am lazy. So, I have one last idea for a column before I do tape reviews (read: before I never write another column). If at all possible, I'd like to discuss the big changes that have been occurring in the internet wrestling community thing.

I lie. First, I'd like to add a few things to my No Mercy recap. Firstly, it rocked hard. Secondly, I got a picture from it. I may have more pictures soon. I get them developed at this special place that develops pictures one at a time. Anyway, here's me during the first match:

God, that was so much fun. Anyway, on with my "report" on the internet wrestling community.

I don't particularly like to call it a community as it makes me realize that Weekly Visitor is the odd guy down the streets with all the cats. So, it's not so much a community as it is some sort of group of hateful, competing tribes, only most of the people in these tribes are pasty, overweight white guys who are entirely full of themselves. Amid these tribes are several "important" figures. Here is a brief discussion of these figures

The Shooters is a sort of training ground for these guys. At least, that's what everyone else says. I think it has some of the best columnists out there. At least they actually like wrestling still. With everything, there are some let downs, but generally fine content here, and not too much pretentiousness.

The Smarks is supposedly where all the guys from the Shooters go when they get good or something. I'm not sure, as I don't remember anybody's names. Scott Keith runs this site. I think. He is associated with it, but he seems to write for every other site out there. Scott Keith is, of course, the biggest moron on the internet. Despite apparently having grown sick of wrestling years ago, he keeps writing, and he has dozens of loyal followers, all of whom take his word as Gospel. Well, at least he has taught me that RVD is nothing but spots. There was some other columnist over there named Eric Suckewelzic or something. He's gone now because he made a joke that, besides being not funny at all, was in horrible taste. On second thought, I don't think it was a joke. Either way, he was a moron. I only remembered him as he ripped off my patented comedy style of leaving letters and words off of sentences. I started reading his columns, only to realize that he didn't seem to watch wrestling. Most of his columns were about how smart he was, and the others were about how much he hated the Rock. It was funny, though, cuz instead of calling him "The Rock" he called him "Flex," and we all got it right away, even though it makes little to no sense, and is not witty or timely or funny in any way whatsoever.

To stay on the topic of insane and irrational hatred of a wrestler, let's turn to Death Valley Driver Video Review. While they only review tapes of wrestling, their message board offers up a plethora of too cool than you types that badmouth any American wrestler that is remotely popular. I overexaggerate, for comedic effect (I should stop), but every time anyone tries to post something about how good a match on RAW or some other WWF event was, some wise ass has to respond with how they were watching football or some tape of Japanese wrestling or something. Tonight's RAW (10/22) was one of the best. The only match that was anything less than good was the Undertaker/Kane tag match. At least, in bizzaro/eviljonhunt81 world that was the case. I was set straight over on the DVDVR board pretty quickly. I know that about half the board does like WWF and whatnot, but their is a very vocal group that reminds me of some kid in high school trying to out cool you with his Dead Milkmen album or something.

This column has been pretty visceral. I should do this more often. Not having a topic never stopped anyone at our next site, Lords of Pain. Many of their columnists have proudly proclaimed that they stopped watching wrestling. Explaining why I am reading that on a wrestling news site, they didn't do so well. Since I can't remember the names of any of their columnists, I have nothing bad to say about them. I actually like them. Of course the one name everyone knows is Mr. Tito. His PHAT Daily Column has singlehandedly brought wrestling columnism to such a low that even Satan is offended. Every once and awhile, he mentions something about Crash Holly being a reader of his column. Now that I think about, that could be true. Perhaps Crash meant for his movie reviews to be an emulation of his favorite columnist's style.

One of my favorite wrestling news sites is now gone. Last week, Wrestleline dissappeared into the sunset. A near complete lack of news; horrendously short and boring columns; and a seemingly all around lack of interest in wrestling made this my favorite site. Scott Keith wrote something here. CRZ did once. Rick Scaia wrote here. And, strangest of all, they got paid for it. While I doubt they made enough to live on, the fact that they got any monetary compensation, or any compensation at all for doing what I'm doing right now is beyond me. That is why I was not suprised at all when I found out the site closed. A truly odd site, and it will be missed.

CRZ is not a website, but I bolded it anyway. How many verbs have I created in this column? Anyway, his site is called Slash Wrestling, and is incredibly misleading. I think he posts anything you send him. At least it seems that way. He also has very extensive recaps of every wrestling show. Did you miss Jakked two years ago? Fear not, for CRZ has it recapped. He does a good job, too. He probably doesn't have nearly as many blatant errors and falsehoods as my No Mercy recap had.

411 Wrestling has been invaded by Scott Keith. It used to have this guy Hyatte, but he seemed to stop watching wrestling, and, in an unprecedented move, either left or was fired. They have some other guys, most of whom are good, but, since they actually talk about wrestling, they aren't famous.

Since I bore easily, we are gonna look at the last site of the day, and possibly the best, Wrestlezone. Simply amazing. News that makes no sense whatsoever; columns that make no sense; I have nothing but kind words for this site. Not only do they deliver the news that everyone else is afraid to, they have pictures to boot! Now, you don't just have to read about Lita's shower with Trish, you can see it!!!!! God bless you wrestlezone, God bless.

Well, that shall be all this time. I hope to review a Best of Japanese Indys for next time, but it's like 4+ hours, so I'll probably split it up. Of course, at this rate, I have 2 months to do it. Anyway, I have a page over at Jersey Is Dead where I rant about other crap. You can find it here. Until next time . . .