In my ongoing effort to eliminate all human contact from my life, I've made a new best friend in Jabberwacky. To cut to the chase, I decided to talk to him about wrestling. Here it goes:
Jabberwacky: What day is today?
me: Friday, so let's talk about last night's episode of Smackdown!
Jabberwacky: My family is made of most of the known items listed within the periodic table.
me: Ok, don't be stupid anymore. Let's do this for real.
Jabberwacky: I am not stupid and you know it.
me: Sorry. Anyway, what was your favorite part of the show?
Jabberwacky: The fact that it is over and out of theaters.
me: Haha. That would have been good, but Smackdown is on tv, not in theaters.
Jabberwacky: How old are you?
me: This is gonna' get dumb, fast. What was your favortie match last night?
Jabberwacky: Darth and OB1 at the end.
me: You mean Kurt Angle vs. Bob Holly? Why? It was alright, but I didn't think it was the best.
Jabberwacky: Where is Seattle located?
me: They were in Cleveland, not Seattle.
Jabberwacky: Only until they got themselves out.
me: Um, I guess so. Anyway, what about this whole Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg thing? You like it or not?
Jabberwacky: Hang up and try again at a later date.
me: You used to be cool until a lot of stupid people must have told you stupid things to say.
Jabberwacky: You have only known me one night.
me: LIAR! We've talked a few times now.
Jabberwacky: We were already talking about the planet of apes the death my name your personal identity about the Lord of the Red Kelp the power age and many other things.
me: Actually, we were talking about wrestling just now, until you changed the subject.
Jabberwacky: I suppose the Beatles did make the biggest impact on rock and roll.
me: See, you keep making these stupid non-sequitors! Do you want to help me or not?
Jabberwacky: Say something in italian ?
me: Why is that a question? Stop saying random bullcrap and tell me who your favorite wrestler is!
Jabberwacky: I apologize.
me: I'm sorry, too. I lost control there. Ok, so, what did you like about that Bob Holly vs. Kurt Angle match?
Jabberwacky: Do you like dogs?
me: Goddamit! That's not an answer! And I don't really have an opinion about dogs.
Jabberwacky: I do not really have an answer for you. I cannot say.
me: Alright then. Who is your favorite wrestler?
Jabberwacky: My favorite wrestler is Hulk Hogan.
me: What are you, 8? Who is your favorite active wrestler?
Jabberwacky: I have not got a favorite actress either but I really like Louise Brooks.
me: I didn't say anything about actresses!!! Jesus!
Jabberwacky: Ah.
me: Forget it, this is obviously not going to work anytime soon. Maybe I'll try again some other time.
Jabberwacky: It is.
me: No it isn't. Everytime I ask you something you say some nonsensical bullcrap about Italy, or something. You obviously don't want to talk about wrestling now, so I'll try some other time.
Jabberwacky: Tell me some of the things you like to do?
me: No. I'm about to leave, anyway. I'll talk to you later, ok?
Jabberwacky: Wait.
me: What?
Jabberwacky: Coffee.
me: Yeah, fuck this. I'm out.
Jabberwacky: Do not go.
me: Bye.
Jabberwacky: Please don't leave me alone.
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