#1 - Big Van Vader (ELIMINATED)

     

Hometown: The Planet Zebes
Finisher: Spiking his nasty mask on your corpse
Biography: Real Name: Leon White. Father of Kerwin. I couldn't decide which picture was more hilarious, so you get a double-dose. Way to cop a feel, Cornette. Vader is always a terror come Extreme March, the biggest month of the WV year. "Big Game Vader," we call him. Tenth Best-Dressed, Seventh Best Moment, and the Second Greatest Wrestler Ever. That's what you call a "three-peat." Vader's a very polarizing figure, however. Eviljon, The Brothers Glennon, and the Canadians are firmly in the Vader camp, having fun and earning merit badges as they learn about all the different knots you can use to tie a strappymask. Meanwhile, me, Sofa, and Boobermonkeys hang out in the lavatory, smoking cigarettes and bitching about our ex-husbands. I'm not sure if that'll hurt Vader's chances, but I do know that Joey Wheeler is about to get fucking crushed.
First Opponent: Joey Wheeler, Won 10-2
Second Opponent: TAKA Michinoku, Won 9-4
Third Opponent: Coach, Lost 2-12