#1 - La Parka (ELIMINATED)

Hometown: The Neverland Ranch
Finisher: Chair Guitar
Biography: Eleventh Best Wrestler Ever. Tore ass all over the Best-Dressed List and won the whole enchilada. Racist. Spanish for "The Parka." Strums chairs and sits on guitars. Broke it down with Michael Jackson and a chorus line of zombies. "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Fucking Michael Jackson impersonator a dancing troupe of zombies are out to introduce LA Park!!! AND HE'S DANCING WITH THEM!!!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! I WISH THESE CAPS WERE EVEN BIGGER THAN USUAL, AS THIS SIZE CANNOT ADEQUATELY REPRESENT JUST HOW LOUD AND FAST I AM TALKING TO MYSELF ABOUT HOW AWESOME THIS IS!! PLEASE HIGHLIGHT THE TEXT, COPY AND PASTE INTO MICROSOFT WORD AND SET THE FONT SIZE FOR THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE, AND THEN TURN YOUR STEREO ALL THE WAY UP AND RUN ANY AND ALL APPLIANCES YOU MAY OWN!!!"
First Opponent: Rodney Mack, Won 6-6 (Higher Seed)
Second Opponent: Ric Flair, Won 11-3
Third Opponent: The Bashams (w/ Shaniqua), Won 7-7 (Higher Seed)
Fourth Opponent: Josh Mathews, Lost 7-9