Version 3.0 - January 2006
Version 1.0 - November 2001
Version 2.0 - January 2004
Remember, they must have wrestled within the
last 6 months! This is why your favorite wrestler is probably not on here. Do
not mail us to complain! For an explanation of how we came up with this wacky list, click here.
1. Vader, obviously
2. Candice Michelle's magic wand
3. Well, at least it's not Steve Romero.
4. THERE. ARE. THIS. MANY. LIGHTS.
5. Squirrels
6. Josh Mathews when possessed by The Undertaker
7. Yuichirou...
8. ...san
9. Samoa Joe's hand
10. Jinx (HOTTTTTT)
11. Gan Ning/MAH DAWGGGGG! (TIE)
12. My gift I gave you!
13. Alex Shelley
14. Dr. Angus
15. Weekly Visitor's 3+ fans
16. Carlito, Carlito, Carlito
17. Aaayahleahalaeyaaaahhh
18. The memory of Steven Richards
19. People who say "Breastseseses"
20. Scott D'Amore/The "Big Sexy" Jobber (TIE)
21. The Professor, Mike Tenay
22. Tazz
23. The Boogeyman
24. Apples
25. Locks
26. Daivari
27. Pimpmobile
28. Pacmobile
29. Christian Cage
30. I'm Tigah Woods! I'm Tigah Woods! OH GOD THE PELE
31. Sloan (from Section 31, get it?)
32. Victoria
33. Aaron Aguilera as Jesus The Eradicator
34. Real Jesus
35. Maria
36. Petey Williams
37. L@@King at things
38. Mr. Kennedy
39. Kennedy
40. (Po'ed out for Eddie Guerrero)
41. Melina and Her Face
42. Mr. Anderson
43. Anderson
44. Muhammad Hassan. Be at peace in Sto'vo'kor, old friend.
45. TOON WORLD
46. Hassan's masked Undertaker assassins
47. Joey Mercury
48. The Burger King
49. Spike Dudley yelling "I'M THE BOSS" at the KFC Flavor Station
50. Mr. Alan/Crazy John (TIE)
51. Rape/Surprise Sex (TIE)
52. Here's a special treat for you!
53. Kerwin White's kneepads
54. Romeo
55. Bears
56. Slater Vain
57. Muhammad Hassan's lawyer
58. James Storm/Sheriff Pony (TIE)
59. (TIE) Fighters. PCHOO, PCHOO! (-O-) (-O-)
60. Those are more like Interceptors, actually.
61. Shadow's dog from Final Fantasy III
62. Booker T on commentary
63. Simon Dean
64. The Con Man, wherever the hell he went
65. Wu Fanchu
66. A house built by Elix Skipper
67. Groon XXX
68. Gronda
69. Garamoon XXX
70. HEEL Sonjay Dutt
71. Face Sonjay Dutt
72. Super-Stacy from the short-lived "Hurripowers"
73. The Coach, baby boy!
74. Sabu's broken back
75. Eric Bischoff
76. Jeremy Boorish
77. Cooked-up taters
78. godaddy.com
79. Johnny Nitro
80. Austin Aries' beard
81. DOOT-DOO!
82. John Cena crying
83. Pi-Ji 13
84. The Twinkle Ticklers
85. Josh Mathews' favorite year
86. Julian Bashir
87. LEEEEEERRRRRROYYYY!!! JENNNNKINNNNSSS!!!
88. Chicken
89. Repeating Decimals
90. Monty Brown
91. Jeff Jarrett saying "Monty Brown"
92. Rodney motherfuckin' Mack, son
93. Rodney Mack the Nintendog
94. Tootlin' Entrance Music
95. Chris Harris/Topato (TIE)
96. Crazy Murder Eyes/Crazy Murder High (Crazy Murder TIE)
97. Brock Lesnar's grammar. Look, you gained twenty places in two years!
98. Shuffled Johnsons
99. Dude, JBL is you!
100. A WREST-UH-LING! GAWWWWD!!!
101. Akiko
102. Akio
103. Evil Scarecrows
104. The Strokes, who play that down-home country music
105. Konnan's left shoe
106. Fat kids, after shutting up
107. Mr. Motorcycle
108. Randy Orton
109. Bigfoot
110. Destro-themed tag teams
111. Antonio
112. Tron
113. COME OUT TO PLAAAAAAY/COME OUT AND PLAAAAAAY (TIE)
114. The Cubs Fan/Worf (TIE BETWEEN BITTER ARCH-RIVALS)
115. Shelton Benjamin
116. Poker Face
117. THEY'RE CRIMINALS, JR!
118. Soft, Squishy Things
119. Nerf Hockey Pucks
120. Eric Young
121. Happy Puppies
122. Protective Headgear
123. PYRO OH GOD!!!
124. AXE MURDERERS AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
125. BOB ORTON WITH BLOOD ALL OVER HIS HEAD!!!
126. Randy Orton
127. People whose IQs are 300
128. Kerwin White
129. Chloe The Bagdog
130. Weyoun #8
131. Ric Flair's old-man driving
132. Vader falling the fuck over
133. The Katamari Damacy soundtrack
134. Kidman's dick jacket
135. The Kidcrusher which CRUSHES CHILDREN
136. Kid Kash's missing hair
137. Kidman's itchy apparel
138. Carla
139. Rey-Rey
140. Rei-Raye
141. Juan Deere
142. JG's Comp Tape That Only Sofa Watched All Of
143. Justin Shapiro
144. Pocket Rocket
145. Brian Danielson
146. Christopher Daniels
147. Indy god: Christopher Danielson
148. It's A "Faaaaake!" Romulan
149. MIKE TENAY HAS MAGICALLY LOST HIS MOUTH!
150. Randy Orton
151. Zelda
152. Black guys breaking out of the Masterlock
153. Jeff Jarrett
154. The apple that seduced Chris Masters
155. Bringing back Spanky and Jamie Noble so they can never leave Velocity, ever
156. Swerve vananna drink
157. Gail Kim's video library
158. Gail Kim's Topless Photos
159. Tapping one's head to indicate intelligence
160. Weyoun #4
161. Tajiri
162. The Boogeyman's magic immunity
163. Test's general immunity
164. Devon Deadly
165. King Tut dropping his kids off in the desert
166. The Street Sweepers
167. The Mine Sweepers
168. The fat, bald TNA photographer
169. Maxmillion Pegasus
170. Michael Jackson
171. A life of pleeeeezure
172. Invisible Cameras
173. Starfleet Captain Kelsey Grammer
174. The Bashams are here and it ain't no jive
175. "Topcat" Tim Cowlishaw, especially when referencing the Kaiser Chiefs
176. 176 Points of Impact
177. Samoa The Facts
178. A fistful of worms
179. A fistful of Datas
180. A fistful of Deforest Kelleys
181. Gene Snitsky/Gene Snitsky's Acne (TOE). I mean, (TIE).
182. OOOOH, SHANE DOUGLAS, I AM JUST DYIN' TO PUT YOU AT #182
183. The Naughty Sorceress
184. Brother Raye Deadly
185. ezSkinz (HE LIVES)
186. HE GOIN' FO' DAT SUICIDEBOMB!
187. T-Murder
188. Simon Diamond's big, thoughtful brain
189. The unsolved mystery of why Easter is sometimes in March
190. Chuck Palumbo's Skirt-Chasing Brother Who Is More Patriotic Than The Patriot
191. Sunglasses Christian has seen
192. Rather wacky sunglasses
193. Lance Cade's pants with the faggoty rose panels
194. Jay Lethal (Mother's Maiden Name: Deadly)
195. Rainbow Mika
196. Amy Anderson
197. Arn Anderson
198. Danny Basham
199. Doug Basham (CONTROVERSIAL!!!)
200. Power sitting
201. Cousin Gaila
202. Cousin Chewie
203. Samoa Joe's Foreman Grill. Choke out the baby fat!
204. Spike Deadly
205. Driving around Cleveland screaming about Serenity
206. Roderick Strong
207. The TenderCrisp BaconCheddar Ranch
208. The Coconut Cyclone
209. The Modified Coconut Cyclone
210. The Heavily Modified Coconut Cyclone
211. Billy "By God" Numerous, The Messiah For An Entire Scientific Cloning Community
212. THAT HURT SABIN!
213. Fuzzy pickles
214. Darmok at Tenagra/Gilard at Tenagra (TIE)
215. "Devastatin' Injury" Dave Batista
216. Lobster and crunk juice
217. Maven's Attention Deficit Disorder
218. Here's the sun, it's alright.
219. Here's the moon, it's alright.
220. Data thinking he's a Sun Goddess
221. One third of the land
222. Another third of the land
223. The final third of the land
224. Sabin Figaro
225. Chris Sabin
226. Stutterin' Matt Morgan
227. Grandpa (Possibly) Hino
228. "Not Me"
229. Controllable Blackies From Africa
230. The Other Kind
231. WV's complete 180 on Monty Brown
232. Lance Murdoch's Tazmanian Devil Tattoo
233. Anyone on the Smackdown brand who is still healthy
234. The Cao Palace
235. SALLY FORTH!
236. Shelton Benjamin's Mama
237. Shelton Benjamin's Grandmama
238. Shelton Benjamin's Parole Officer
239. Slutty lower back tattoos
240. Dudes
241. Brothers
242. Big Men
243. Foppish Bumbershoots
244. Monocles
245. THE SLAMMER!
246. Jorry goodu day, guvanoru!
247. Chingin' a few chongs
248. Kenny King and his Tough Enough-based anger
249. The Fresno State Bulldog WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
250. Demott's Turning Point (haha, again!)
251. nik kat
252. Nick Sinn
253. Lebron James
254. Mickie James
255. Rick James
256. Road Dogg/Billy Gunn (TIE)
257. Ode to Spot
258. Arn's Spot
259. Paul London's Pac-Panties
260. The Land of Success
261. Mark Henry's Stank
262. Starfire
263. Mark Henry's Inability To Break Into A Cage
264. Mark Henry's Ability To Bend A Frying Pan
265. Mark Henry
266. History
267. Raven's Girlfriend. Yeah, she doesn't go to this school. She's from Canada.
268. Bubb Rubb
269. Li'l Sis
270. The Hamburglar
271. Michael "The Big Dog" Cole
272. Pang Tong/Sean Bean (TIE)
273. Tom Nook
274. The Snapshot/Shine Aqua Illusion (TIE)
275. Things found in Jim Ross' rectum
276. Wresting
277. Randy Orton
278. Nessie
279. Booker T's Wife
280. Edge's Wife
281. Sharmell
282. A FAN! A FAN WHO RAN IN THE RING!
283. I AM A “STACEY” KIEBLE’BS ELF!
284. Johnny G
285. Sun Quan's Beard
286. Sun Quan
287. Cao Cao's Hat
288. Kurt Angle's cowboy hat
289. William Regal's RPG-villain music
290. Tyson Dux
291. People who know the difference between "implied" and "inferred"
292. Leaving waste in the ring
293. A statue of Al Gore
294. Weyoun #7
295. Chris Benoit's coffee-making ability
296. That scheming freshman, Ronald Niggerman
297. Rowdy Roddy Piper
298. Todd Grisham
299. Gay Matt Bentley
300. Straight Matt Be--WAIT THERE'S NO SUCH THING
301. Michael Smith telling people to "Shut Up!" really sassfully
302. A hologram of the Undertaker throwing soupbones
303. Mark Jindrak's basketball career
304. The King of All Cosmos
305. Xing Cai screeching "GUAN PIIIIING!"
306. Any member of the 2005 World Champion Chicago White Sox
307. That wrestling fan who yelled "IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!" and started crying
308. The "And Boom Goes The Dynamite" Sportcaster
309. Randy Orton
310. Bagger Vance
311. Mysterious fat women attacking Ivory and Jazz
312. Dr. Bashir's space retards
313. Macho Man dot com on your see-dee-rom
314. JBL ON A DAMNED HORSE!
315. Barrels
316. Battered Women
317. With a side of fries
318. SIX SIDES OF FRIES HOW COOL
319. Shu
320. Wei
321. The Nanman
322. The Yellow Turbans/Dong Zhuo Forces/Everyone Else
323. Wu
324. "The Pot"
325. The Kettle
326. Monty Brown as Modern Sting
327. Shark Boy, Seven-Time EWR Champion
328. Tazz's orange avatar
329. Charlie Haas, Saavior Of The WWE
330. The Two Most Able Men
331. Konnan's Right Shoe
332. Scorpions as tag team partners
333. The Hateable Dan Lebatard
334. Joey Mercury's Watch
335. Joey Mercury's Hair
336. Kid Kash's Horrid Face
337. Haterade
338. Playa-ade
339. Sanji
340. The old geezer with the really tall chef's hat
341. Muslim Shady
342. All you other Muslim Shadies are just ululating
343. So won't the real Muslim Shady please blow up?
344. A ticked-off Texan
345. His name is Gato, he has metal joints
346. JEY-UFF, NO! THAT IS LAVOS!
347. Paul Burchill's hatred of children
348. Sweet britches
349. Sour britches
350. MIKAMI's Ladder
351. The concept of a "ladder"
352. I'MA GITCHOO
353. Sofa A replacement
354. That time Coach had his feet up and Kane's pyro went off and he fell over
355. Japanese crowds. So quiet and respectful, Tazz!
356. Fired Mexican salamanders
357. Fried Mexican salamanders
358. Of Maven's closest friends
359. The vanishing Juniors Division
360. A gently-used Real Doll
361. Mr. Brightside
362. Brightside
363. People who say "Cool Beans"
364. Filing your slutty nails at a funeral
365. Traci putting her breasts on the apron
366. Traci putting an apron on her breasts
367. Donkey Kong (Spoiler: He dies at the end.)
368. lol i dunno ¯\(º_o)/¯
369. Randy Orton
370. Randy Orton
371. Chinamen stealing copiers
372. The fact that Samoa Joe somehow made the first list in 2001
373. A Man They Call... Sting
374. A Sword They Call... Sting
375. Dominick Mysterio
376. Amazing Red (sans do-rag)
377. Brad and Grandma
378. Slowing down your music to become a HEEL
379. Grit. Not the magazine, Filmcans, you old man.
380. Familiar Wool
381. Strange Wool
382. Kazarian's FUTURE in the bread line
383. Big Dick Deadly
384. Squirt Angle
385. Konnan's dawgs
386. Raven's Gondorian Helmet
387. President George Washington, who could not tell a lie when asked if he liked Big Butts
388. The emo lyrics I sneak into everything
389. A Panic Room is like a Rumpus Room only MORE TERRIFYING
390. A donkey eatin' a waffle
391. Kung-gu hippies from Gangsta City
392. That "Carlitos" guy Ric Flair kept going on about
393. Christian's hentai games
394. The Fattest Man In The World
395. Some guy who you think is good, but really, he isn't.
396. Limousines
397. Ambulances
398. Whaaambulances
399. Dancin' White Boy
400. Observing the Fields
401. Not contributing enough to your rival
402. The mystery identities of the BK Chicken Fries Rebel Unit
403. That paramedic who was all like "EDGE, CAN YA MOVE YA TOES???"
404. Be okay, Kurt
405. Jail, jail, jail, jail, jail, jail
406. Delicious, Piping-Hot Arby's
407. Delicious, Piping-Hot Araby's
408. Melina's blurry vagina
409. Greg Groothuis' Bitter Ex-Wife
410. Chad Collyer and Grandpa Groothuis
411. Michael Cole mooing
412. Triple H impregnating Samantha Bee to produce Tbe Baby Game 2: Bee Squared
413. Lita's hand size
414. Kurt Angle's hand size
415. Baron Von Ratsworth
416. Porky porky no travail
417. I like The Dicks.
418. Sign Guy Deadly
419. The mysterious and untimely demise of Kevin Nash
420. Rob Van Dam (LOL GET IT?)
421. A monkey in a bank
422. Don West watching Mike Tenay masturbate to a lucha mask
423. Don West doing anything else
424. Randy Orton
425. SEE, THE JOKE IS THAT HE REPEATS HIMSELF CONSTANTLY
426. A Five Star Match between Chris Benoit and Chuck Palumbo
427. The sign of the defunct Cabinet
428. James
429. Meowth
430. Koffing
431. Wobbuffet
432. Jesse
433. Dong Zhuo's atrocities
434. Weyoun #5
435. Ric Flair wanting you sooo baaad
436. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE, HOLLLLMES???
437. Nonexistant codes
438. CATS
439. Helluvanelevator that apparently goes nowhere
440. Crest WhiteStrips
441. Ninjas that go 'Nin-nin-nin!'
442. GET READY FOR SOME CHINESE TAKEOUT!!!
443. Ji Your Hair Smells Terrific
444. A poem by Heidenreich
445. Test
446. Hoyt
447. Nash
448. Any other tall men in shiny pants
449. Tell your girl she's strong
450. That hideous Carlito shirt that all the cool, non-Sofa people own
451. OHH YEAH! NUMBER 451 IS HERE, BAYBAY!!
452. Deadly Do-Right
453. Everything in that episode from S where the Sailor Senshi speak Engrish
454. The breakdancing turtle from Jonesy's carpet commercial
455. Con-dumbs
456. Chris Nowinski showing up for absolutely no reason
457. Making out on the toilet
458. Marking out on the toilet
459. Marking out for yourself
460. Marking out for yourself on the toilet
461. Kane
462. Big Show
463. Abyss. You heard me.
464. The Prince of Punk, Shannon Moore
465. Macho Business Donkey Wrestler
466. James Storm in a chicken suit
467. Sofa's poultry allergy
468. WarioWare (Makes A Great Gift)
469. Go, Go, Mike
470. The bWo
471. AJ Styles' penis
472. Lance Storm's penis
473. Eric Bischoff's karate gi
474. A Crawlspace Tease
475. Saying goodbye to your sister
476. WWE.com exclusive heel turns
477. Snowpea
478. "Shades of Arn Anderson" when somebody does the non-Arn spinebuster
479. Kurt Angle's veritable rainbow of mouthpieces
480. The beasts Kurt angle has sex with
481. Akebono
482. Stupid Indy chants
483. That Frenchman...wait, nevermind, I don't really care about him
484. Them big twins, on them v-twins
485. A Sack Full Of Tacks
486. Sports Jocks
487. Police Cops
488. The Undertaker and all his little powers
489. Sexay Sexay Thang, So Sexay
490. Lance Hoyt fans (The Doot-Doo Crew)
491. Here I am, everyone! Xu Huang has arrived!
492. Fat girls cosplaying as Jeff Hardy
493. The thing on Jillian Hall's face
494. The Trademarc/Bumpy Knuckles (TIE)
495. Some Peasants
496. Forgive me for giving you such a low ranking, O Innocent Ones!
497. Geico Jokes
498. Kobe Bryant/Anthony Anderson/Orlando Jordan/Ajax/Batista (SEXY 5-WAY TIE)
499. Chris Benoit! Slightly improved. Keep reaching for those stars, kid.
500. Jacqueline! GIRL, U SLIPPIN'!
899. The price
9-Wah-Wah. Matt Hardy
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