The Road to Wrestlemania. Often littered with the bodies of more talented wrestlers, this cold and deserted road is often talked about as being one of the most exciting times of the year in the WWE. Who can argue, really? I mean, we did see Hogan talking all the damn time, Goldust turn retarded, and the debut of Nathan Jones. I can't wait to see what they have in store for us this year!!!!
March also marks the anniversay of WV. In 2003, we compiled a list of the most amazing wrestlers ever (not to be confused with our other list of the most amazing wrestlers ever), and then the site almost closed down. I have this like 20 page thing I was gonna' do for EXTREME MARCH, but it's been taking a while to finish. And I don't like how it turned out. Maybe it will show up this March. ANYTHING CAN LEARN TO FALL OFF LADDERS IN THE WV, KING!
"Stone Cold returns to RAW. Sign: "OH HELL YEA". Hahaha. That only amuses me because I picture some old British dude using that phrase to vote in favor of the Magna Carta or something." - TNM HEAT 3/2
"Watch out for Droz’z nose lasers!" - JG Smackdown 3/6
"According to our Tale of the Tape, Paul’s finisher is the NONE. "Former Owner ECW" is third on his list of highlights. . .though I have a smidgeon of surprise that they included it at all. " - same
"I'm afraid The Hurricane is going to start writing slashfics about himself and The Rock." - TNM HEAT 3/9
"VERTEBREAKER??? OH HELL YES. 1, 2, 3! Poor Stevie is the only guy the WWE will let take that move, because they want him to DIE." - same
"Kevin Dunnnnnn is like some sort of Assistent Producer or something or other, all the net rumors say he's the most powerful guy in WWE after the McMahon brood. Honestly when I see him on TE he just looks like a lazy eyed schmuck with a beer gut." - Chainclaw 3/12 messageboard
"And forget I said German Suplex. It’s the Freedom Suplex now." - JG Smackdown 3/13
"Lots of people will bitch about how the Japs got buried by being collectively slapped around by Albert, but I maintain Show on commentary is better than Show wrestling." - same
" "Top Ten Reasons You Might Be A WWE Fan" on the front, then a bunch of tiny, illegible reasons on the back. A TRIUMPH OF MARKETING GENIUS!!!" - TNM HEAT 3/16
" I'm sorry, nothing will ever come close to the Bret Hart/Will Sasso feud." - SOFA 3/17 RAW
"UP IN SMOKE have another exciting adventure, this time at a golf course. After playing the Adult Swim music for some reason, they threaten some White people, who then proposition them. They cheat, then the Adult Music plays some more. Then they steal people’s watches. This was funnier than the Oblongs, anyway." - JG Smackdown 3/20
"I wonder if Hulk understands that Kurt is a big ol’ parody of him." - same
"Coach says Brock versus Angle will be "a straight wrestling match". None of that gay stuff." - TNM HEAT 3/23
"Man. . .how much worse can it get than being verbally bested by A-Train and Big Show?" - JG Smackdown 3/27
" Kane beats up on Morley outside, while the Dudleys run in and do the Dudley Death Drop dance behind Storm. 3-D. Blarg. Rob rolls in for the cover, but Buh Buh drops a DEVASTATING(!!!) elbow on him. Now he puts Storm on top? 1, 2, 3? WHAT??? RVD GOT PINNED BY AN ELBOWDROP??? AND WHY 3-D STORM IF YOU'RE GOING TO... Forget it. God damn was that stupid. QUICK GO TO THE AUSTIN PACKAGE HURF BLURF. I'm done with this show." - TNM HEAT 3/30
" Anyway the BOTTOM LINE is that SCSA is NOT CLEARED TO WRESTLE. HOLY CRAP I AM JUST REALLY NOT CARING." - Chainclaw 3/31 RAW
"Plz Fire Me vs. Smarter than the Average Hobbit
Nowinski has a goofy mask on because his eye keeps falling out. He explains to Scoot, who apparently majored in "gym" according to Nowinski(heh) that he'd appreciate him not hitting him in the face, thnx. Steiner says "ROBBLE ROBBLE ME LIKE PUDDING" or some such and attacks him. Wacky chasing ensues until Steiner catahces Nowinski and drags him into the ring for his PATENTED offense of forearms to the back... over... and over... and over again. Steiner does a VICIOUS, albeit slow and umimpressive, clothesline. Kiss the muscle, drop the elbow. HOLY SHIT IT'S ON! STEINER IS DOING PUSH UPS HE *IS* A GENETIC FREAK!" - same
Yeah, we did a Wrestlemania Predictions thing, but I can't find it. In the end, the old guy won, and Brock almost out-drozzled Kurt Angle. I guess it was ok (I haven't seen all of it), but I really can't get behind a Wrestlemania that doesn't have the blow off to a shampoo feud.
Is this the end, or the beginning of the WWE year? Whatever it is, IT DOESN'T STOP!!!
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