July featured 5 Thursdays, but only 4 Sundays and 2 Mondays, apparently. July marks another important turning point in WV history, as TNM was tricked into watching Velocity one week, which began another chapter in the self-help book that is WV. Stick your finger up your ass and hit the back button if this sucks.
"So Taker managed to do a run in without actually leaving his ass. Unbelievable." - JG Smackdown 7/3
"What is up with your genitalia, Rodney Mack?" - TNM HEAT 7/6
"Gail wins with a frankensteiner. You know, if her offense and workrate is supposedly impressive, I can name at least 10 other people on the roster who have the same amount of talent she does, and yet are discouraged from showing it for fear of making the slugs look bad." - SOFA RAW 7/7
"Oh Test, you crazy rapist. You've only succeeded in raping our hearts." - same
"Singh comes out and does his whole "I'm crazy" routine BY EATING PAPER! hahaha. HE DIDN'T EVEN EAT IT! He just put it in his mouth then spit it out!" - Jon SK&NS 7/10
"You know, some people find Steph attractive now and others never found her attractive (as a single net nerd, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for snoring too loud) but she looked better when her body fit something resembling natural proportions." - JG Smackdown 7/10
"In the second match of Dragon’s US break-out run, he’s jobbing in ultra-short time-filler matches. Would you ever fuck off, WWE?" - same
"I don't know if that's Dux or Rude, but his tights say "TEXTBOOK". That may be the oddest thing I've ever seen written on a wrestler's panties." - TNM HEAT 7/13
"I heard Crash was fired for having two legs." - JG Smackdown 7/17
"Oh goody, pre-recorded crap with LEVEL 8 WHITE MAGE. He raps about how the Undertaker isn’t really dead. OH NO YOU DIDNA!! Then he desecrates a grave. No, really, he does. He went to the Bossman School of Being Fucking Retarded." - same
"Rico wants to be in a porno, but Val also hates queers. Now Venis feels the need to look at his own penis. I really, really wish I was making this up." - TNM HEAT 7/20
"Lawler and Coach compete over who's more saddened by JR's muppet being set ablaze." - SOFA RAW 7/21
"HE WAS RAPPING IN A PENTAGRAM! AUTOMATICALLY STUPID!!" - JG Smackdown 7/24
"The different between this show and Heat is that the explosions are GREEN!" - TNM Velocity 7/26
"We were LIVE from Denver, CO for a pre-Vengeance spectacular. Paige Posse reprazentin'. Check it out, my Woody Paige impression: YOOOOUUU GUUUYS DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TAAALKING ABOUT!!!" - TNM HEAT 7/27
"Rhyno does his best Raven impression by telling Chris he doesn’t get the match he wants tonight, hahaha. In a few months he will perfect his impression of Raven by getting fired." - JG Smackdown 7/31
Eh. I guess this is kind of like one of those endings that don't seem to be good or bad, they just are. At least you didn't get shot by a talking monkey. And what is up with Rodney Mack's genitals?
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