It's fairly clear that I have nothing to say right now, so let's just get to these random ass quotes.

"The biggest nerd in the fucking world didn't like Hardee's until just recently. I don't mean nerd in the good way, either. HE ENJOYS WAITING IN LINE FOR FOOD BECAUSE IT MAKES HIM FEEL LIKE HIS OPINION ON HAMBURGERS IS VALIDATED BY OTHERS!!! WHAT A WEAK-MINDED INDIVIDUAL!" - TNM HEAT 2/2

" I get my information on real sports second-hand from local heel heat segments." - JG Smackdown 2/6

" I wish we could have seen Rock eating tofu." - same

"I planned on finishing one beer when wrestling started and then opening a second during it. Instead, I'm about to finish my 2nd and - WHAT THE FUCK?!?! The "Sport" people were sitting behind their desk, talking (presumably about sports), and then the camera zoomed out to reveal a giant pink furry thing dancing next to them. Jesus. And just like that, they went to commercial." - Jon 2/8 NJPW tv

"Soon to come, Steven Richards v. Sergeant Slaughter. Fucking baffling." - TNM HEAT 2/9

"If I can step off of my pedestal of neutrality in regards to smarkiness, I'd like to say a few serious words. "Mister Perfect" Curt Hennig died today. Anyone who read my reports around the time of Hennig's short-lived return to the WWE last year, and anyone who knows me knows that I'm possibly one of the world's biggest fans of the Perfect one. His ringwork, his promos, his character were all profoundly awesome. I count him as one of the greatest wrestlers that I have seen during my tenure as a wrestling fan. And now he's gone. He bowled that perfect game. He made that incredible behind-the-back basketball shot. He hated rap like nobody's business and wrote a song about it and made a normally really awful angle very entertaining. He was Perfect. And he had one of the best entrance themes there will ever be. If anything, I hope that Curt Hennig is remembered for his professionalism, his work ethic, and for his absolutely dickheaded, yet awesome character.

One of my favorite Mr. Perfect moments was actually from his last WWF run, in a backstage skit where he was playing the NCAA Chess Champion. Perfect pointed to the far wall, said, "what's that?!" and moved one of his chess pieces into a checkmate position. When the champion had turned around, Hennig shouted, "Checkmate!" and pointed at the kid and said, "I beat you! I won! I'm perfect!" And, in one of the most awesome things ever, his entrance music fanfare started playing in the background. Simply hilarious.

Do you realize that the sun doesn't go down? It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning 'round.

"In Memory of Curt Hennig, 'Mr. Perfect' 1958-2003"." - SOFA RAW 2/10

"I like to think that Curt and Bobby Duncum Jr. are just KICKING THE SHIT out of Biggie and Tupac right now." - TNM 2/11 messageboard

"Then Nunzio gives Rikishi the Kiss of Death, because Chuck Palumbo’s presence did not add enough homosexual subtext." - JG Smackdown 2/13

" Anyway, O’Haire steps in front of Demott and says, "I think the kid has had enough, but then, I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know." Both men smile evilly. I know they’re trying to get his catchphrase over, but shouldn’t they do that by having him say it in places where it makes some sense? But then the whole segment is saved when SEAN USES DEVIL POWER TO REPLICATE DARK CITY! MY GAWD! " - same

"Spike's actually my favorite Dudley now. How the fuck did that happen?" - TNM HEAT 2/16

"Poor D-Lo. He came from Warsaw, Poland with nothing but the chest protector on his... chest. He was responsible for a fake miscarriage and made amends by purchasing tampons or maxi pads or something. He liked black people. He will be missed." - same

"Methinks Heyman has a serious hard-on for Albert but has been ordered by God not to job Benoit anymore." - JG Smackdown 2/20

"Expanded Mr. Pefect package from Confidential. Haha, Wade Boggs. Look at The Genius officiating the ping pong match. Curt was really sweaty when he bowled that perfect game. Sgt. Slaughter tells us that Perfect catching his own touchdown pass was his idea. Sure, Sarge. What the hell is Brock Lesnar doing in this? I thought he basically got Curt fired. "He always had a horseshoe up his ass." Um. That's the most wildly inappropriate tribute since Road Dogg and The Godfather wanted to ROLL A FATTY 4 OWEN!!1!" - TNM HEAT 2/23

"Lita thinks Jeff Hardy has been "on the straight path since his interaction with Shawn Michaels." Heh. Sure." - same

"But wait...[Rhyno] was supposed to go to RAW and join the Evolution Horsemen! An internet rumor turned out not the be true!! My world is collapsing!!!" - JG Smackdown 2/27

Have truer words ever been spoken? Probably, but fuck it.