April is widely regarded as the most amusing month of the year. It's no different here at WV, as we spent April floundering around in search of a new direction. SOFA began to take Monday's off without warning, TNM apparently began booking RAW, and JG both fell in love with ellipses and began to predict the future. Oh yeah, and I continued to sit around my apartment getting drunk and talking about things nobody but me knows shit about. Really, that's more sad than funny.
"A-Train does some move I’ve never seen before that looks like butt love, then he slams Benoit." - JG Smackdown 4/3
"Sable is back. WHY!?!? "Sable is back, in the WWE!" She was never in the WWE, actually. She hits her crappy old catchphrase. This reminds me of the one thing I liked about the Ministry of Darkness: the time they killed Sable for no reason. Sable thinks she and Torrie will be the best of friends, then. . .kisses her on the lips for a tenth of a second. Cole asks Tazz to hand him a cigarette. . .implying that he and Tazz have been having sex. Huh. Sable - Marc Mero yelling "Don’t look at my property!" = Boring." - same
"I think wrestling itself needs significantly more Snoop Dogg in order to get me interested again." - SOFA 4/6 messageboard
"When Dustin Runnels is the smartest one in the room... Jesus." - TNM HEAT 4/6
"Vince can sign all the "big" free agents he wants, but everything's still going to fucking suck. Very Yankee-esque." - same
"Backstage, Jericho and HHH have a stairdown. Wow, they're actually remembering that Jericho feuded with H for no less than 5 million years. Flair says that both HBK and Booker are going to be "buried." Well, probably just Booker. And maybe Jericho. But definitely Booker." - SOFA RAW 4/7
"Brok. . .casually kicks the Cruiserweight Title away. The WWE is always finding new and interesting ways to make big steroidal monsters bury entire divisions, but that was probably the most efficient way to go about it that I’ve ever seen." - JG Smackdown 4/10
"This match reminds me when New Japan used to be good. Wait a minute. Isn't this from some All Japan show?" - Jon NJPW tv 4/12
"Later, The Rock. But now: Frogs. Film at Eleven. Well, you know somethin', Mean Gene? When I play EWR, I always make a stable of heel Frenchmen. And Rene Dupree's in it, coincidentally enough. The point is, the WWE creative team is currently booking on the same level as ME. ME. Man the lifeboats, people." - TNM HEAT 4/13
"Angray, Test slaps around that guy in the Hurricane shirt. Because, -and take note-, THAT'S what happens when you like The Hurricane. The WWE slaps you around like a fuck." - SOFA 4/14 RAW
""Mr. America" is coming. I hope they aren’t serious with this. . ." - JG Smackdown 4/17
"I hope someday I have enough fiscal power to rehire aged T&A who initially quit over lesbian angles, just to make them do the lesbian angle so I can show the world nobody declines my lesbian angles. That’s not how I’d use the money, but I’d like to have enough that that would be an option. " - same
"Has Kevin Nash ever run in his entire life?" - TNM HEAT 4/20
"We cut to backstage: Where The Rock is about to leave. Goldberg is in pursuit. We see The Rock's car take off out of the building. Goldberg attempts to follow in his car, but apparently never learned how to drive. After pulling the clutch several times and flooding the engine, seemingly, Goldberg just gets out and runs on foot. BUTWAIT! The Rock never left? HAHA. Goldberg just left the building like a dumbass. This was one of the best segments ever." - SOFA RAW 4/21
"Albert yells and spits a lot. I hope I never get as close to an exhaling Albert as Cena just was. Maybe this "Brok is a fuck-up who will eventually cripple someone" angle will mean a big comeback for Bob Holly!" - JG Smackdown 4/24
"ARE YOU READY TO FIND OUT WHO THE NEW HEAT ANNOUNCER IS??? I've been waiting all week for this moment. Sadly, I'm only partially kidding." - TNM HEAT 4/27
I can only hope you have the same anticipation for May's batch of quotes.
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